Sometimes I’ll pick up essentials from certain spots out of convenience. I don’t know what happened but Whole Foods toilet paper quality has dipped. It’s like wiping my ass with construction paper.

Just finished the punisher season one and DAMN that shit SUCKED! They really watch this man’s performance and said “Nobody else can play this character” and rehired him?!?!

Went to Dough Zone and they gave us double dumplings and double cucumbers. Highly blessed and favored.

I classify certain behaviors as “stinky pussy behavior” and any gender expression can exhibit it. Watching Eurovision, stinky pussy behavior. Not signaling during a merge, your pussy is leaving stink lines behind you. Sam’s Club member, stinky pussy. Costco Executive, ph balanced elite pussy.

I just ate half of the leftover cake instead of going to the gym. It was delicious and I’ll still take my ass to the gym at some point

None of yall talking about the Last Ronin Platinum games TMNT game.

My boyfriend is going to wax my back. I assume that means hole as well. Either way, it feels like moving in together is right around the corner from this, right?

You won’t catch me running in these streets unless it’s to or from something. I’ll be damned if I get something called runners diarrhea?! No maam. I’ll get a brisk walk tummy ache at best.

Spent whatever this holiday was eating otter pops, reading New X-men, and reading Witch Hat Atelier.

Now that I’m skinny apparently I can’t call bears stinky or tell them to stop flexing nothing, literally nothing.

My drafts are keeping me safe and sound today.

Shaved off too much of my beard. Told my boyfriend he had to go home, he cant see me like this.

American history buffs gross me out. Such a modern red flag. Also UK food buffs. Experts in poo poo as well as caca.

$100 for a controller?! Truly end of days…

Finding that perfect balance of diet and exercise to keep my ass fat but continue to trim the belly. Chat, the ass goes faster 😭

I wake up, do my job, play my little games, read my silly books, try to make good and healthy decisions, fail in some way but not all ways, and then I resign to do something better tomorrow before I sleep.

I can’t believe me and weed were born on the same day

How many big dumb dumbs are gonna be revealed now that ai is collapsing and everyone is realizing how unsustainable it is. How many of you smelly dumbs dumbs are gonna be exposed when you can’t run every text, email, project, and question through ChatGPT?

Logged on here and nobody is talking about Pokopia. Your tit pics mean nothing to me if it isn’t paired with your Pokopia garden and resource tips.

Trying to be more of what I expect in people. Trying to radically love and stay optimistic about everything.

You can’t date men with insane amounts of muscles but have zero emotional maturity, no empathy, and an insulting communication style. Just fuck them and run.

Unfortunately I don’t believe in using the word “zoomies,” but yes. Your dog is popping off.

My shoulder muscles are starting to fill in and pop a little… it’s noticeable now. What if I just kept going and became a fucking beast?

Happy man tit Monday

Trunk or Treat but the trunk is ass and the treat is also ass

Feeling good lately

KJ Apas hairy ass…. That’s all.

Everyday I new muscle pops up. Soon I’ll be a beast. I cannot be stopped.

Ohtani could do anything he wanted to me. And I mean ANYTHING!!!

The guy I’m seeing requested that I save my loads. It’s day three. I need him to give me a timeline of when he plans to come get this load

Hit the glute trainer so hard today that my farts are whistling 🤭

First off… which one? Be specific.

Hip abduction has me feeling baby girl this morning in my tiny shorts

I feel beefy again today goddamn

Chest and arm update. I’m rapidly seeing tit progress look at them!

My crush turned down my nude because he was in the office today. That’s fine, I guess he’s fine if I died today and he couldn’t see my giant dong one last time.

These tik tok holes are soft

A little outdoor therapy, you could follow me on tik tok, Strooper1, I’m gonna start posting there more.

I saw you both from across the bar, does your boyfriend want to get fucked while you watch?

I should stop filling my loneliness with strangers. But it’s easy and I think I’m too broken for anything real.

Sent in the straight man group chat today. I only send voice messages because it pisses them off. It’s their fault for green bubbles.

My Etsy witch is doing extra work because how did I miss a toxic bullet of a man only to accidentally meet the hottest man that’s ever given me attention?! Anyway here’s a picture I thought was cute but giving wonky eyes cringe.

Good morning bottoms

It’s always fall in this house

The way I went to the Eras Tour, rocked the last five albums… The Life of a Showgirl fucking sucks. It’s her worst album. As a fan I’m beyond disappointed with this out of touch slop. Nobody sat her down and said, girl these aren’t even vault tracks.

Not really but damn I’d be lucky if he was my boyfriend 🤭🥵

Welcome to my annual Spooktober movie marathon! This is my first year on Bluesky, my Twitter threads of the past six years are gone :( Here’s the rules: One movie for each day. Suggestions welcome. I will post a small review. Participation is welcome. Long form TV is excluded.

Oh… we’re doing circles again. Your collection of white muscle with busted faces truly looks like a glazed donut. Congrats.

I hope you all enjoyed my big tittie update because I have a boyfriend now and I’m crediting my knockers

What if Bad Bunny pulled it out during the halftime show? 🥵 I know he won’t but what if? And what if Pedro Pascal was in the crowd and he pulled it out too? I mean… what if?!