Getting into a fight with an ED consultant for the heinous crime of not knowing where Newham is. Which someone then took the tweets and turned into a rap on TikTok. Oh and getting stalked by a crazed Australian flogging stupid evidence free theatre hats

The #iminworkjeremy campaign. Which putting it’s grammatically wrong phrasing (I’m AT work) probably did more harm than good at the time as it made junior doctors think industrial disputes could be won on social media and gave rise to the mediocre online medic celebrity

“That’s fine we don’t need to tell your parents” “Great I appreciate it, so you’ll respect my new name right?” “JEAN GET THE PARENTS ON THE PHONE!”

Why yes I did complete the EBU map puzzle at the Eurovision exhibition and then smuggly step to one side like I just completed the intelligence test on the krypton factor

So what about a Martin bell style ding dong with vorderman

I am begging BEGGING the greens and Labour and libdem to decide who’s stepping aside for the sake of unity

20 quid this Farage statement is him outside a Dobbies saying IM GOING NOWHERE

Kier Starmer could end his political career a hero if he just tweets a photo of himself ringing up FIFA to get the red card rescinded

My kids have had a weekend of birthday parties to go to and due to cash machines having different notes one child got a tenner and one got a twenty and I hope to god they don’t compare.

It’s giving accidental partridge

Hear that? Thats the international audience doing something else on Saturday night

Chair: “May I introduce John Smith who’s a consultant in radiology at the University of Stevenage who’s going to talk about MRI in critical illness” John smith: hello my name is John smith and I’m a consultant in radiology at the university of Stevenage and I’m going to tell you about MRI…”

Talks a big game. Sends a ballad. This lad used to be the governor of the Bank of England

Insert lazy “Canada to take part too” joke here

An interesting collection of priorities. A lot of it rooted in survivorship and things I’ve a real interest in and should be congratulated on. But…feels like at best only 2 of the priorities focus on getting the patient through the initial illness (priority 10 in particular). Is this a…

You see a desperate attempt to distract us. I see another Amazon kdp market opening #eurovision

Insert Alan partridge shrugging gif here

Love my hard work being stolen. Really I do. Makes it all worthwhile.

NOT NOW EBOLA

What an appalling day for British tennis.

Anecdotallly, when a midwife is accidentally called a nurse (eg calling it the nurses’ station) the disdain and cry of “IM NOT A NURSE” can be heard from the moon.

The stock decisions of service station shops will never cease to baffle me. Oh thank god we found this animal jigsaws at charnock Richard, thank you WH Smith

My neighbour has had a Scotland flag hanging out his window for weeks and I’m curious to know at what point it will come down

Cue the final; the commentators look at each other. Alan shearer put the microphone to his lips and says: “The real hydration break was the friends we made along the way”

I look forward to the brand new gmc approved CCT in Walk in centre Medicine, given that they are staffed entirely by APs. Going after the PAs was legit, this is just petty “only Jonny F2 can make a diagnosis”

.

Ghanas anthem is a jolly one isn’t it

There’s a certain irony to Liverpool city councils parking wardens walking into the FACT to use the toilets without paying for a coffee

I think I saw someone in the same cafe today that I knew that 25 years ago but couldn’t be sure, but anyway my first anxiety was SHIT WHAT IF THEY SEE I HAVENT CUT MY TOE NAILS THIS WEEK.

Being a front barrier wanker at Africa Oye

Thomas House of Dublin exhibiting the pro-human solidarity that all of us should demonstrate.

Awww and there was me hoping he’d do the Manchester o2 ritz

I am begging, BEGGING the gift card industry to do better than “HAPPY FATHERS DAYS, BEER, FARTS AND BAD JOKES” as its themes.

You can boo the Croatian anthem all you wants lads, Harry Kane couldn’t even sing his own anthem in time.

I lived next door to a playing field as a child. There was a sign saying “no balls games”. A neighbour threatened to take a knife to my brother’s ball The same neighbour took photos of us playing. We were convinced Aki was going to get us & squeeze our muscles “Why don’t kids play outside?”

Next year - the nano-staycation: why are more and more people just walking into their gardens?

Meanwhile in England we have to remind men not to commit domestic violence if someone misses a penalty

I might lie to the kids and tell them the evil Sir Kiers YouTube ban starts today, and never again will I hear the sound of grown men screaming at Minecraft

I dunno ban the over 45s from Facebook. Or anyone who says “was” rather than “nee”

Bluesky does group chat putting it only ten years behind X. Give us polls and Spaces you cowards

So yet another study saying we don’t need to measure gastric residuals, albeit this is in children. Would it change my practice? Yes. But I’m not the one aspirating the NG tube. The habit isn’t mine to break

We make patients brush their teeth in bed in cardboard bowls because we’re terrified of the falls risk and then ask ourselves why they don’t brush their teeth.

Watching A Very Peculiar Practice, and it’s clearly from a different time if you think the campus GP gets to the meet the Vice Chancellor

My son wants an England shirt and holy Jesus £70?!?!? Adults is £90, for a white shirt they’ll spill Carling on. I mean I’d criticise but my hobby charge £40 for socks.

Maybe I’m missing something in these restricted fluid studies, but it feels like the options are “you can squeeze and empty system” OR “or you can fill a vasodilated system”. Why can’t you have your 30mls/kg reasonably aggressive AND squeeze early?

My statistics MSc has the dreaded group work assignment and we’re all having to sell ourselves into groups like some sort of middle class PE lesson

Agree, but the 20,000 Facebook comments where people say “you get sent to prison for a tweet but get a lighter sentence for (insert crime here)” will be tedious as hell.

Inside the welcome pack is just a post it note that says “right, good luck lads. Signed (I’m) martin green”

I just KNOW that Switzerland are going to serve Clari-unt.

I’m in a bad place. Not mentally. Just Tamworth station.