Queue 200 people long to vote at 9:30pm, clearly we all had the genius idea to come late and “avoid the rush…” Surprised by the turnout as it’s ‘only’ the local elections, reassuring to see numbers turning out.

Slightly disconcerting when you look out of the plane window to see what kinda resembles a mushroom cloud… Apparently this is the Buckeye wildfire in AZ.

Favourite ever social interaction with an American. Sat next to me after bartender at the other end pissed her off. Declared herself moderate then shat over every democratic politician mentioned. Admitted to watching Fox News. Snowflaked, called me & Obama racist, got upset & stormed off. Classic.

This American Airlines crew are getting us fucked up. Some kind of catering mix up, so everyone is getting two of every drink and they’re out of milk for coffee so an hour before landing they’re just passing out Baileys to use as creamer for coffee. Not mad about it.

Just been yelled at on another social media platform that renewables make everything more expensive. While I’m sitting here charging batteries & running towels in the dryer because prices are negative & I’m getting paid 3.93p per kWh to use energy because there’s too much of it around right now…

Nothing says, 'go the fuck to bed' like realising it's 1:30am and you're sitting there browsing alcohol online trying to decide if it's a good idea to drop £110 soon a bottle of small batch Oaxaca Mezcal.

I just stumbled across a guy with an Indian/South African accent on YouTube and my mind is blown at how well the two mix.

Fuck! 6 weeks after moving I solved the mystery of the cold spot in the underfloor heating… Twat who lived here hung a giant mirror (which they left behind) & destroyed an entire thermostat behind it. Thankfully after replacing all the others I had old ones spare, we have heat! Warm feet! 🦶

What in the media manufactured psychodrama is going on in the news? Are they all just addicted to the chaos of the past decade and expect that’s how things work now in perpetuity? Baffling.

Bought a house. I’m now that DIY guy. Previous owner changed the bathrooms but left massive holes in the drywall that were venting outside air - patched them up this week and immediately using 15kw per day less energy for heating.

Weird thing about living in an ever changing city - sometimes something changes & you miss it happening, then don’t experience it for years later, but when you do it just works and was like it was always there as it is now. Case in point 2 weeks ago was London Bridge station.

I’m will never tire of people being confused that I’m from the UK. Tonight I’ve had an American think I was Australian, a Filipino think I was American and a Brazilian ask me if I was Portuguese?!?!? Unlocking whole new levels of mid-Atlantic over here.

Alright room service and the rooftop bar both get a 10/10 so far. Like I used to be weirdly scared of ordering room service - mostly because of the prices, but holy shit getting a steak delivered to your bed? This shot makes me I understand why celebrities lived and died in hotels back in the day.

Decided not to fly home this weekend because I’m away again next week anyway. Expectation: Exploring cool bars and roaming the city… Reality: Bed rot and room service. Honestly not mad about it. I needed this.

Am I the the only weirdo who immediately forgets which hotel room I’m in & just remembers by its location on whatever floor I’m on? Bartender asked if I wanted to charge to my room & I’m like my guy, if I could remember what that was, sure. Took 3 guesses for us to find it. Been here 3 days…

Came back to the room just in time to catch the sunset out of these weird-ass windows.

Filled bottle with carbonated water, popped it in the side pocket of my bag, went to grab suitcase, came back to a catastrophic failure of the bottle, a soaked backpack and laptop. Happy Monday, y’all. 🤦🏽‍♂️

Another headline for the 'didn't have that on my 2025 bingo card' list

Oh great, it's spider season again. On the plus side, I didn't know I could still move that fast in my old age. That big bastard scuttling across the floor was like a shot of adrenaline that's gonna keep me up half the night now...

I never thought the leopards would shoot MY neck

I swear the more batshit-racist immigrant-hating headlines I've read over the last few weeks the deeper this dumb Zack Fox track embeds itself in to my brain.

Bought some ‘chino’ jeans online, they arrived and they look like this:

London property prices tumbling at highest sustained rate since Covid. 2 bed flats in Zone 2 ~£125k off peak down to £500k mark, adjusted for inflation that’s zero real terms price growth since 2009. If you bought at the 2014 peak you’d have ‘lost’ ~£200k in real terms. And they’re still falling. 👀

October ‘24: “I should probably lose a bit of weight, maybe eat healthier and exercise a bit, nothing too extreme” March ‘25: “Yes I should definitely buy that 1.5kg tub of ‘Unicorn Piss’ flavoured protein powder, its essential for my macros”

Remembering that time I offered to help a new neighbour put up a gazebo, then declined her offer to return the favour by coming to cleanse my house with sage or some shit. Which then turned in to her telling me she wasn’t coming on to me every time we bumped in to each other until she moved out.

Car insurance renewal quote came in lower than last year for the first time in 5 years! £300 a year cheaper! About bloody time.

Well that’s an easy yes to a new app.

Well, that was a fun morning. Now back to work. #williamsF1 #atlassian

Good morning from a chilly Silverstone! #atlassianwilliamsracing

Nothing like 7 hours on the M25 to ruin your Monday.

Boy is my jet lagged ass regretting scheduling an all day meeting a 2.5hr drive away this morning, after only arriving back home from the west coast USA on Saturday afternoon. 😭

Downtown Charlotte looking extremely evil villain’s lair tonight from the airport.

I’m sure this is totally nothing to worry about.

Why is San Francisco still dead? I figured it’d be back by now after Covid but it’s still empty. Why is the Tonga room closed half the week? Where is everyone?

If you see this, reskeet with the top 2 places you absolutely fucking hate with a passion: 1) Heathrow Terminal 4 - 5th circle of hell, the one with the shit restaurants. 2) Barking & Dagenham - all of it, frankly I’d welcome a Russian nuke if it lands here.

Plane has a flat tire, they announced they’re changing it before we depart & asked everyone including crew to sit down. Fine. We can do that, right? They told us they’ll deplane us otherwise. The amount of people pressing their call buttons right now is stressing me the fuck out. Chill people. FFS.

Thought this was a new nickname for the president at first.

I know I shouldn’t be shocked anymore but the tangerine prick blaming immigrant dwarf air traffic controllers was not on my bingo card for today.

At least they’re honest.

Something awesome happened at work and I’m about to live out a childhood (and adulthood) dream working on a project for the next year or so. Can I just say ABOUT FUCKING TIME after the shit we’ve all been stuck doing since the fucking pandemic.

if you see this post, quote with a bridge from your gallery

Uh… No? Bit early for that RM.

If I were seeking public office I'd win by simply promising to mandate KitKats and all other chocolate bars be put back in foil and paper wrappers.

You know what I want? A muted images feature.

No they bloody won’t.

Witnessing my first charge-rage. 6 cars waiting at supercharger, one guy cuts in line & takes vacated stall, 3 guys now screaming “fuck you motherfucker” at each other, with one refusing to let him plug in, line cutter guy locked in car refusing to move from the space. Shoulda brought popcorn. 🍿

Stumbled across this 1950s brutalist beauty of a high school at Wibautstraat in Amsterdam the other day. Kudos to whoever worked the lighting design at this site

Laters, haters.

Early morning commute on the cuckstoel.

Dropped my MacBook off my lap, it’s fine but my 1 year old coffee table now has a big fuckin gouge in the edge. 😭