Happy first Sunday after the first full moon after the equinox

Idk, I think it's just an okay Friday

make sure you see a trans person today!

The brands are doing their April fool bullshit again. Reminder not to trust any headlines for the next month

for a couple years now my regular breakfast is typically a Fiber One bar and a protein shake. my grocery store used to have a modest size section for granola bars and protein shakes, and the two used to almost sit next to each other on the shelf.

boy it's been a week

Praying for your downfall from 40,000 ft

IhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithereIhateithere

🙏I hope your plane crashes. I don't even care if I'm on it.

Something is off about today

this is somehow even funnier than when they cried over losing their NFTs because that time they thought they were art collectors and this time they think they’re property owners

Bro how do you get three pizzas and the options are plain, plain, and "so many toppings this pizzas is litrrally inedible"

Equinox

Games really be like "our world is over 50,000 square miles" but you can travel from one corner to the other in 45 minutes

Same as it ever was

So like, you know how when the first trailer for the sonic the hedgehog movie came out and the CGI looked like a fucking nightmare and "after internet backlash" the studio "revised" sonics model? So I've always had this conspiracy that the trailer sonic was fake

Memes aside, the McProduct is an alright burger, but a little too expensive

There is no feeling worse than waking up from one of those dreams where you win the lottery or receive some windfall of cash

Happy Ides of March to those who celebrate!

What do you mean you've never thought of this before??? Are we your first client ever??? This is pretty basic stuff

Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn, and tell us the lesson that we should learn

Nothing more disrespectful than hitting someone with an auto reply on teams

I hope everyone has a SUPER MAR10 day!

You're gonna sit there and tell me they named this pasta "Rigid Tony"????

So glad its daylight saving time again! Goodbye seasonal depression, hello regular vanilla depression!

I've had a couple days to stew on this and boy it sure hasnt helped. Eat the rich

Fuck you and the high-horse you rode in on

I need a new career

I just so happened to wake up at 6 AM this morning, just in time for the blood moon lunar eclipse. In that moment I decided that I like sleep more than cool celestial events.

Look I really dont wanna see his fucking disgusting ass neck sore. Can he hurry up and decompose off camera please?

Its just so exhausting. All of it.

fell for it again award

Oh my god why won't you stop talking

Im gonna fucking do it this time I swear to god.

this might be a hot take, and I'm sorry for getting political on main but personally I think we should execute the pedophiles.

every time I am forced to clear snow out of my driveway I move one inch closer to buying a flamethrower

how do I get to the universe that doesn't constantly drain my soul?

Nothing says "Live Free or Die" like a fucking prison camp, I guess???

Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to have to tell someone your order is "peepee sixty nine"??? The girl working the drive through couldn't have been more than 16 either, like am I gonna end up on a list for this??

All I do is repeat myself and repeat myself and repeat myself and repeat myself and repeat myself and........

I love when apps have an "exit" button, and then when you click it it gives you the "are you sure you want to close this app" message and then when you say yes it just stays open in the background in some unusable state

Man fuck this

Same as it ever was

Whats on draft today?

Bro why are you wearing a blazer? Can't you tell nobody respects you?

Anyone else juat get hit with an overwhelming sense of dread? Like something unimaginably horrible is about to happen? No? Just me? Cool

Information is stored in the balls

Person 1: "hey whats new?" Person 2: "not much, how 'bout you?" Person 1: "Good!" You're a god damned NPC, I hope you know that.