Bro why are you wearing a blazer? Can't you tell nobody respects you?

Anyone else juat get hit with an overwhelming sense of dread? Like something unimaginably horrible is about to happen? No? Just me? Cool

Information is stored in the balls

Person 1: "hey whats new?" Person 2: "not much, how 'bout you?" Person 1: "Good!" You're a god damned NPC, I hope you know that.

Gonna kill that fuckin groundhog

Okay campers, rise and shine! And don't forget your booties cuz its COLD out there today!

Spending money just to feel anything

This moltbook shit is fake. Dont buy it.

Redbull & Sudafed so I can unlock a higher dimension

Phil better not see his fuckin shadow on monday.

Welp, I suppose 3 hours of sleep is plenty

Will no one rid us of this turbulent administration?

They're not putting prices on the tags anymore? Is this hell?

Just watched an iPad kid cough directly into the produce at the grocery store. This is why you gotta wash your veggies, folks

Why the fuck did I even wake up today

Is it just me or is it weird when people assign a skin tone to their emojis?

They're testing the fire alarms at work. Thank god for noise canceling headphones

I'm just so tired of being so tired...

Y'all got any more of that vigilante justice?

The Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.

Thinking about when I was working as a cashier between 2008-2010 and the state I lived in started requiring cigarettes be sold with "Fire-Safe Compliant" certification. The amount of people who freaked out about not wanting to put those chemicals in their body will never not be funny to me.

COW TOOLS COW TOOLS COW TOOLS

RT if you're tired

Dude could I catch a fuckin break like once?

I really enjoy arguing with my Google Hub about Whether or not she told me it's going to snow this weekend

Leonardo DiCaprio has stopped using Wikipedia.

no fucking shot Credit Karma just emailed me with "we've spotted some recurring transactions!" like telling me I should cancel some service or something, and the transactions are fucking interest charges on my credit cards????? like yes, please, I would like to cancel my subscription to interest

Its too much monday, please stop

Having no emotional reaction to sad news is fine, right? Like im good, theres nothing wrong with me right??

If discord adds AI, I am leaving forever

Pluribus really out here asking "what if zombies were friendly?"

I just realized that Chinese new year happened after I was born. My whole life I thought I was year of the horse but actually I fall under the snake

When the sanctions start rolling in, are they gonna blame that on Biden too?

My new years resolution is to punch a fascist in the face

Why do we call the first day of the year "New Year" but we don't call the last day "Old Year"??

Once again I am not being included in a meeting that directly impacts my job specifically and nobody else.

Bro like they gotta stop namin mother fuckers "michael"

We back at it again with the liminal space

There's a woman in my office who has just been wandering around for 30+ minutes today asking people if they've seen her chair. There are a thousand empty chairs she could take.

Bill Clinton urges full transparency on the Epstein files, says the selective release suggests someone is being protected and that he needs no protection, he calls on Trump to order AG Pam Bondi to release all remaining Clinton related materials, including grand jury records & photos. #OpDeathEaters

Okay the solstice is over can I have daylight back now?

Just a week away, can you believe it guys? Woohoo! I am so happy about this information. Just a week away!

2026 is gonna be my year

It goes like this - the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall, the major lift...

People are just standing around yapping about nothing. I struggled to find a parking spot this morning.

Theres something weirdly surreal about the week before Christmas where everyone is in the office (before taking the next two weeks off), but the year has already wound down and basically everything has been written off as "a next year project".

Dear @bsky.app I dont follow this person. I dont follow anyone who reposted this post. And I certainly dont have post notifications enabled for any of them. Why did I get a notification about this? Are we twitter now? If you start doing this twitter stuff, I'm leaving.

Bruh c'mon theres no way you have 30 years experience. Look at how shitty a job you're doing???

is something wrong with notifications? oh I guess I would have had to have received any to notice