FUCK!

💜To whoever needs this: Hey, thanks for making it through another week. That takes tremendous strength with everything going on, even if all you did this week was hold yourself together. In case no one's told you - I'm proud of you, you're doing your best & I love you 🫂

I’m trying not to have a mental breakdown and everything is making it worse.

Put up all them lights on the front porch just to find out the damn outlet don’t work.

Boy made a whole song about jawing on his cousin.

We know, Naijah.

the president is operating the country based on the penises he’s inhaled.

In a wild turn of events, Trump topped Bill.

my bad?

Cheese on mine

I dusagree

Shit dolphins be doing would be a TVMA rating.

If it wasn’t for Flipper, dolphins would have their own “shark week”

Surprisingly, yes.

Me at minute 44:

I can taste every clove in this fuckin root beer dawg

Biblical gluttony AND biblical lust.

A year ago my mentions woulda been cooked because of this post. Thank God I’m now the most wholesome person on the skyline.

CATBIRD HAS DRAFTS???????

Bluesky down again?

Sounds like ass.

wouldn’t matter. they have no issues moving the goalpost. they’ll find a way to ignore it or explain it away so they don’t have to change their worldview.

what do you mean there might be photographic evidence of Donald Trump sucking Bill Clinton’s dick

I need the sonic ones

Now you got 14 men bare knuckle brawling in Cheesecake Factory. And the one you like least is winning!!!

That sexy one is $800. Practice restraint, sister. 😭

Mario Air Hockey is a genius idea ngl

I need it.

I will not be doing this again! 😃

There are 4 affluent looking white women in puffer vests standing at the door waiting for 9am. It is 35°.

Went to get my oil changed at Walmart before this ($26 is cheap as hell and imma do it every time), and these mfs have QUIET HOURS. Whole store went dead silent at 8am. It was intoxicating.

Currently in the Aldi parking lot waiting for it to open so I can do some light shopping. If this is what white suburbanites experience on the regular, I get it. The anticipation for a near silent shopping experience is EXHILARATING.

Tap dances the line. Damn near chacha slides the line.

Mentions Explore Following (I don’t use any tabs other than Following)

Lmaoooooo it was the early stages of screen protectors

IPOD SOCKS IS BACK???

Okay, so after reading this, and HEAR ME OUT, I need them to release a LEGO Olive Garden set.

Matt Gaetz got investigated for raping a child, found liable, BUT NOT CHARGED, lost the nomination for Attorney General, and then just…disappeared? Lmao Like how did that just slip our collective minds?

WHY IS WALMART JUMPING ME??? #boydinner

I’ve never had it but I know the moment I do, I’m gonna turn pro chef.

Today I ringed the bell. I finished my last chemotherapy treatment. Next steps are getting scans done to see the results. But I’m just so happy to be done with this brutal part of the journey. Now please excuse me while I cry to Hayley Williams in my car.

They had a roasted half duck at Costco for like $22. I really almost pulled that trigger.