gonna post this on Easter

“Is Bill Belichick on the hot seat?” Not exactly, but:

man I KNOW this DUI lawyer

putting the U-M in “Tulum??????”

What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent?

Certainly, Coach Petrino will be able to fix these issues once he’s out on the recrui-

even a crashing train has a destination

we are LOSING our RECIPES

M.EA.U.X.D.O.K.

Game of Thrones fans midway through Season 8:

Hugh Freeze, DMing journalists

after the last 48 hours of news/rumor/scuttlebutt, I’m just hoping that Pat Fitzgerald and Jon Gruden are in these Epstein emails somewhere

“Ah, yes, Ralph Waite from “Bones”

DeBoer: grindset memes Petrino: not allowed smartphone due to court order Freeze: not allowed smartphone due to family court order [nobody has the Florida interim’s number] Smart: 👍 to every text Stoops: sends 👍 emoji to every text Kelly: just keeps sending a link to a legal hold notice?

it’s like The Godfather but it’s set to Benny Hill music

“And when you looked down and saw that there was only one set of footprints in the sand? That was me, Trent Dilfer, making sure that at least *someone* was committing a series of preventable errors that kept a team from winning the game.”

If you don’t think college football is one of the most beautiful things in the world, that’s a you problem and I can’t help you.

To be clear, it was wise to give Petrino enough rope to hang himself.

folks I call him Parch Manning cause this offense is going through a dry spell

as was predicted by the sacred texts

“Please let us win the Texas game this year”

“Do Your Job,” only your job is being a Get Right Game for everyone else in the ACC

you gone head and beat that commuter school, coach Abell

Jon Sumrall I will escort Sam down to his retirement lakehouse mySELF

Taylen Green is great at keep fakes because I, too, would hesitate as a defender if I thought that big lumbering Ent still had the football

a defensive coordinator who has never once see the opposing team run triple on film, right after the QB scampers for 17 on the opening drive

the power of ONE Tyler Childers song

if you build it, they will cu-

the winner of USF-Florida gets a tube top with the Cy–Hawk Trophy airbrushed on it

nonzero chance that someone asks Butch Jones about this game during Taylor Swift’s wedding reception

Lane’s teams are like the most amazing sports car, and once a year they lose to Mark Stoops’s 2003 Highlander that never tops 45mph and sounds like Khazad-dûm every time it starts

we are losing our recipes

when your wife makes you go apple picking but you’re all about the

This was fantastic, and thorough, and hilarious. And I am more likely to rent and rewatch “Oldboy” than I am to listen to this cursed tome again and relive the USC games, FOIA scandal, motorcycle accident, and “Smile” for a third time.

a guy who loves Broadway shows this much should have seen the “Diddler on the Roof” jokes coming from a mile away

Hot Mars is just Lubbock

What actor’s expression in a movie will stay with you the rest of your life?

sending Jeff Mauro directly into the Frederic Weis Zone with speed and purpose

your meemaw seeing a promo reruns of the Don Johnson show on WGN

“I remember the first time I saw a fried green tomato on a BLT. It totally changed my whole perspective, how I look at sandwiches…I still think about it today.”

except for the fact that I consider the Pittman-Petrino dynamic to be more of an “The Emperor’s Trusted Eunuch” situation, no notes

The CJ Super Bowl Byron Nelson