Was making pizza bombs when suddenly an unexpected bum appeared. They will henceforth be known as pizza bums. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Actual footage of the US flag today.

I don't know how much Matt Stone and Trey Parker are paying their lawyers, but having seen the latest episode, I'm sure it's not enough! Also absolute genius, as ever.

Watched an episode of Eurotrash (1995) last night with an Italian producer of a teen TV show, with one standout star. The guy flat out said "I'd marry her in a heartbeat if she was younger". Readers - she had just turned 18. Our society has been toxic for a long, long time.

The rest of the world can't wait to get underpaid jobs with no healthcare in a country where you can be disappeared because you got a tan, or denied medical care because of your gender. Form an orderly queue, folks!

Since everyone is doing Christmas already... Dear Santa, All I want this year is a family who know how to load a fucking dishwasher. Thanks. Will also accept coal.

Listen guys, things suck, it's dark, it's dreary, it's usually raining... BUT I found @greenevillezoo.bsky.social and honestly, their posts are brilliant and never fail to put a smile on my face. Give them a follow if you need more smiles per hour this week!

So, Musk gets a trillion dollars (that's $1,000,000,000,000) for tanking a shit brand of EV which keep catching fire, while WORKING Americans starve. Have I got that right? Maybe he'll fuck off to Mars in an exploding rocket and start the 4th Reich there with his paedophile, Republican cronies.

"Why is there a DOG in our arena, mother?" "All you do these days is shit in it and eat the hedge anyway." "That is NOT the point!"

Perfect evening to watch this masterpiece!

Am I really petty enough to pay another £3 to not have my parcel delivered by Amazon? Yes, apparently. Yes I am. Worth it.

I can't help but find it hilarious that the generations of people who grew up wondering what the fuck Hitler was doing with that moustache will be replaced by people wondering what the fuck trump was doing with an orange face. #JustFascistThings

Honestly I wasn't expecting the US to turn into "Outbreak" this soon. I had "Civil War" on that particular sweepstake.

Someone was a sleepy boy this morning! #shire #horsesofbluesky

Was worth getting rained on! Still love being able to see a whole rainbow 🌈

Throw back to our anniversary at the end of September. So grateful to have this virtually on the doorstep, and blissfully tourist free!

To think the Americans made such a fuss in 1814 over a few burn marks, only to tear the building down themselves. At least you'd have universal healthcare and an intact White House... just saying.

At this point I'm assuming the White House will be torn down in favour of a tacky, gold version of Versailles, hopefully with similar consequences.

There's nothing quite like listening to the woman who insisted I eat everything I put on my plate ask the dog if he likes her buns because she has time to make him something else if not. He can also track mud through the house with wild abandon and slobber all over her floors. Sigh.

"Super Elfin" - The leaves have gone, but the flowers stay like little fairy lights, usually until after Christmas!

The vet complemented us on how well the 3 year old did with his teeth and jabs (he really is amazing)... slightly ruined by the 32 year old who needed sedation for hers 😅 I swear she does it for the good drugs! Had a good hour of drooling and napping. I feel you Boo. Wish my dentist did the same!

I'm 42 years old, and it really shouldn't matter, but getting an upnod of approval and a heartfelt "nice car!" from two teenagers still feels fucking amazing 🤣

You know it's autumn when the Acer can't decide what colour to be! (Spoiler: They're all gorgeous).

Gorgeous sky this morning, in a beautiful part of the world. Have a good day everyone!

Constantly amazed at the mental gymnastics the yanks will go to to defend archaic, dangerous, and ridiculous gun laws. Don't argue - take a long, hard look at what you've become and then tell me there's some magical good guy with a gun coming to save the day. And maybe stop watching so many films.

Why do I feel like there should be a big sign outside the White House that reads "X days since last mass shooting"? The great thing is they can just leave it on 0 most days.

To anyone who actually believes that America went to shit with the onset of Trumpism, please watch the Hurricane Katrina documentary ASAP. Sorry to burst your bubbles. I'm also a bit in love with Lt. General Honoré... but who wouldn't be?!

I feel really sorry for people who go by Al. They must wonder why they're expected to power everyone's shitty SaaS products and everyone calls them slop.

As if you couldn't love Hugh Bonneville more. Try and cut that, you bastards. Also, fuck Farage.

I keep seeing 2025 America compared to Idiocracy. May I remind everyone that they were actively looking for good leadership, while trying to do their best. Camacho also never kidnapped anyone and shoved them in a concentration camp, or raped children. The film you're thinking of is The Purge.

THAT'S the bible Maga use. Makes much more sense now.

Giving up all your ECHR rights to get rid of brown people... sounds like a Refuck voter to me.

How about no? How about making this a teachable moment in America's history and making damn sure everyone knows what happened well enough not to let fascism in. Again. Whitewashing and ignoring history is what they would do, so do better.

Living in Wales, I never thought I'd be this excited to see rain! Anyone got an effective rain dance to keep it coming until the fields are green again?

So many butterflies! Plus the Buddleja smells AMAZING!

That's how it's done. Well done Orlando. Illegitimi non carborundum!

Glorious.

Just realised why Vance came here... Word of our legendary DFS sales have finally reached US shores. Can we make it the one week a year where they're full price? Please.

My god! I'd never heard that RFK Jr thing talk before yesterday. And I thought his face was rougher than old arseholes. How is it alive??

All of this, and louder for the maggots at the back.

Love how many USians are banging on about why Trump is allowed in the UK, or why we can't stop him. We never thought any country would be thick enough to elect a rapist felon. Twice. So shut the fuck up. Thanks.

Ah Wales, you never disappoint!

My home away from home! So good to be back.

This beauty took a minute to say hi. I *think* its a damselfly?

There's a special place in hell for people who park at the pump and then piss off for an hour to eat a shitty subway sandwich.

Wednesday is with us again, so grab your family and friends and drag them out to buy a book! - Michael

One of our Delphiniums got hammered by yesterday's storm. Luckily it stayed relatively intact, so better than nothing!

I know it's not an allergen, but if we're disclosing whether something contains lupins or not, could we PLEASE have a Corriander warning? So sick of having to check every ingredient on random things just to make sure it won't taste of buring plastic and have to go in the bin. Yuck!

When you absolutely can't resist being an absolute cunt. Why do you think I parked at the end in an empty car park? To avoid you pricks. I fucking hate tourist season.

I love how people are calling for Kristi Noem to resign as if the republicans have any shame whatsoever. Leaking war plans? Fine. Waiting 3 days to send assistance? Fine. Concentration camps? Fine. Gestapo? Fine. Stop expecting any decency. It's gone from US soil.