“Welcome to ‘Whiskey Friday,’ brought to you by Tears of The Left Bourbon. I’m Tony Dickpills, and my guest tonight is… [checks notes; visibly grimaces] …yet again, your friend and mine, Deuce Bigalo, Male Gigalo!”

Bari Weiss’ Mr. Bean-esque tenure at CBS is one of the only funny things happening right now

The Irish Rovers did this on CBC in the 70s

Time to listen to all of the old @blockedparty.bsky.social episodes about Scott Adams

Rightwing influencers are so bad at interpreting source material that they can only do it correctly by accident, when they're trying to make a joke

sending ICE to Minneapolis in January really is a Hitler invading Russia moment

Dr. Robby choosing to take his sabbatical at Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump shows that he is a man of taste and culture

My boy should be hooping

Nobody's doing it like Gil Ozeri

"The warmth of collectivism" is such a beautiful phrase

It™ will happen this year

Was just reminded of the Jeremy Renner app and now I'm having myself a nice little laugh

Celebrities are so overexposed nowadays and it’s good actually that we don’t know every single detail of her life!!

The Stampy the Elephant of this household

Go off Nancy

Well this is just lovely

This is my third Christmas working at the bakery and the idea that the @doughboys.bsky.social would even try to argue that Christmas is not a cookie holiday is laughable to me, personally

He is making the weirdest little face every time I look at him

This is a perfect clip

Goblin queen on her goblin throne (the bath mat)

My new favourite annual tradition

i think we should all commit ourselves to, at minimum, a national 3 day party When It Happens. one bottle of champagne in the back of your closet is no longer adequate. be prepared

Ah yes, allowing unrestricted speeding is one of the best ways to cut down on somebody’s commute time

anyway as someone who’s been hit by cars and also only just avoids getting hit by cars every other week, I have a more practical and realistic solution for people who speed that involves the phyllobates terribilis, more commonly known as the golden poison frog

I do not want a debate about speed regulators on cars, I want all personal motor vehicle ownership banned

wow why hasnt anyone thought of this before

It really is too bad that cars were only designed to accelerate in perpetuity

Heidi figured out how to open my jewelry box and that little bitch stole a necklace from me. She's hoarding it somewhere in the apartment like she's Smaug or some shit.

@gooffkings.bsky.social did Gex Week and now my twitch stats will never recover

This might not be the most popular opinion but I think that if you are at an establishment where there are no children then you don’t really have to play the Christmas music

You can always tell a Milford man

My dad tried to argue that North Americans have too many safety regulations and are "bubble-wrapped" compared to Europeans because there are no guard rails at rail stations in Europe, and I had to remind him that I was hit by a car in a crosswalk just a few months ago.

There's no greater form of torture than the Dynasty Typewriter pre-show video

This is fucking my shit up

Heathcliff is out of pocket today wtf lmao

These fucking nerds all deserve to be shoved into lockers

People making instagram reels love to ascribe human emotions to animals and say things like "I got a kitten for my dog"

Listening to this as a palate cleanser after hearing @murderxbryan.bsky.social's British accent on Guys today

My god

I have two litter boxes because I thought the cats might be territorial about them and this way they could each have their own litter box but instead they've both somehow decided that one litter box is for shitting and one is for pissing

Kinda feel like I have to actually read a JCO book now

Can't believe this Simpsons joke was real

The 2 QBs on my fantasy team are this guy and the guy who does his eye black like Anakin Skywalker and I couldn’t be prouder

So excited for Huge Boob Corner tonight

The way the creeps on Tom and Bunny's page talk about Bunny is the same way people talked about the Queen after she died in the CBC comment section

!!!

My fantasy football team is in shambles, the Bills defence is my best player this week