Hey, friends! My big-ass merch sale continues! More items are being added! But don't delay, because this sale will end in May! GET THAT STUFF WHILE YOU CAN! schaffer-the-darklord.myshopify.com

RHP Commissioner Bunny Buxom explains why she won't be in attendance at TasselMania 8 on Saturday May 16th, 2026 at Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY. TIX: www.eventbrite.com/e/rabbit-hol... #rhp #tasselmania #rhptasselmania vimeo.com/1183029151

RHP Intercuntinental Champion Kita St. Cyr still awaits a challenger for TasselMania 8 at Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY on Saturday May 16th, 2026. TIX: www.eventbrite.com/e/rabbit-hol... #rhp #tasselmania #rhptasselmania vimeo.com/1178947560

From ring official to Intercuntinental Champion, Seedy Edie looks back before her Hall of Fame induction ceremony at TasselMania 8 on Saturday May 16th, 2026 at Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY. TIX: www.eventbrite.com/e/rabbit-hol... #rhp #tasselmania #rhptasselmania vimeo.com/1180652435

My apartment is getting crowded, and I need some money, so...I'm having a big-ass merch sale! Tees, hats, posters, CDs, memorabilia & more! This sale could last a week or a month. I don't know. I'm impulsive. Buy some stuff while it's cheap. THANK. schaffer-the-darklord.myshopify.com

I just released a new episode of "Collect All 79!" In this installment, I review three custom figures from The Next 17. Please like and subscribe, nerds! youtu.be/O92M46HQFI0?...

Schaffer the Darklord's HORRORSHOW, my 2024 musical tribute to scary movies, is now available to watch on youtube! Go get spooky, creeps! youtu.be/-0LJuPZyZCE?...

RHP superstar Right Now Rouge responds to a challenge from her former valet Artina Darkly ahead of TasselMania 8 at Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY on Saturday May 16th, 2026. TIX: www.eventbrite.com/e/rabbit-hol... #rhp #tasselmania #rhptasselmania vimeo.com/1178588144

Middle-aged MAGA men admire and ENVY Trump for his constant lies and tough guy posturing. He makes them nostalgic for a simpler time when they got to be the world’s smartest, strongest men in their children’s eyes. Before their kids learned to read. Before they lost custody in their divorces.

Unpredictable superstar Artina Darkly plans to rewrite her RHP story with a bold challenge for TasselMania 8 at Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY on Saturday May 16th, 2026. TIX: www.eventbrite.com/e/rabbit-hol... #rhp #tasselmania #rhptasselmania vimeo.com/1178874136

Watch me perform my Easter song "Night of the Living Christ" while paying tribute to the 1973 film "The Exorcist" in my 2024 tribute to scary movies "Schaffer the Darklord's Horrorshow." vimeo.com/1180295858

RHP New York Champion Stella Nova responds to a challenge ahead of TasselMania 8 on Saturday May 16th, 2026 at Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY. TIX: www.eventbrite.com/e/rabbit-hol... #rhp #tasselmania #rhptasselmania vimeo.com/1176729468

RHP Hall of Famer Abby Fantastic lays out her championship title plans for TasselMania 8 at Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY on Saturday May 16th, 2026. TIX: www.eventbrite.com/e/rabbit-hol... #rhp #tasselmania #rhptasselmania vimeo.com/1176526866

March 2026 Patreon content is up, and it's a doozy! Got a SICK new Department of Darkness banger called "Guillotine" w/lyrics/remix kit/behind-the-scenes video. Plus I've got a spot-on cover of House of Pain's "Jump Around" AND MORE! Sign up today: patreon.com/c/schafferth...

RHP Drag & Slay Champion Uncle Freak responds to Nancy NoGood's challenge for his title at TasselMania 8 on Saturday May 16th, 2026 at Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY. TIX: www.eventbrite.com/e/rabbit-hol... #rhp #tasselmania #rhptasselmania vimeo.com/1174166263

Notorious member of The Nobodies faction Nancy NoGood issues a challenge for the RHP Drag & Slay Championship ahead of TasselMania 8 @ Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY on Saturday May 16th, 2026. TIX: www.eventbrite.com/e/rabbit-hol... #rhp #tasselmania #rhptasselmania vimeo.com/1174134721

SATURDAY MAY 16th, 2026! Rabbit Hole Productions returns to Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY with TASSELMANIA 8 and all the episodic burlesque/drag/nightlife "combat entertainment" action you've come to expect! Tickets on sale now: www.eventbrite.com/e/rabbit-hol...

With RHP Commissioner Bunny Buxom on sabbatical, she's left the reigns in the hands of her younger brother Buster Balls. TasselMania 8 arrives at Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY on Saturday May 16th, 2026. vimeo.com/1172742079 TIX: littlefieldnyc.com/event/?wfea_...

SATURDAY MAY 16th, 2026! RHP returns to Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY for TASSELMANIA 8! But first, let's get caught up with this look back at TasselMania 7. Tickets on sale now at littlefieldnyc.com vimeo.com/1171853734?s...

HEY, ROCHESTER! Today is @lextheconartist.bsky.social bday & tix for our matinee show at Bug Jar on Sat 6/27 JUST went on sale, so...DO IT! Friends in Columbus, Pittsburgh, NYC, Philly & Baltimore: tix for our tour w/Master Hand on sale too! DO THAT ALSO! schafferthedarklord.com/tour/index.h...

I'm loving Resident Evil Requiem. If you are too, please enjoy this music video for my song "Every Survival Horror Game," in which I celebrate all the reliable tropes of the genre in costumes as James Sunderland, Alan Wake and my dude, Leon S. Kennedy. youtu.be/mpmYAdXkchc?...

This is the cover art for my new Patreon song about traveling back in time to 2015 in hopes of stopping…all of this. Can you find all the references to 2015 in this image? (This month’s content also includes a cover of Mega Ran’s “Infinite Lives,” released in 2015.) www.patreon.com/c/schafferth...

SATURDAY MAY 16th, 2026! Rabbit Hole Productions returns to Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY for TASSELMANIA 8! Your favorite episodic, burlesque/drag/nightlife combat entertainment event is back! Tix on sale now: littlefieldnyc.com/event/?wfea_...

When MAGA’s sharpest minds rationalize hatred for their perceived enemies (Democrats, immigrants, journalists, educators, liberals, etc.) it’s always: “They’re evil, and they want to destroy America.” This is also how a child would explain Megatron to a grown-up.

New episode of Collect All 79 just dropped! In this installment, I get my hands on the final five Endor figures I need for my collection, plus a vintage Kenner Speeder Bike. Please like and subscribe nerds! www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mpdq...

TOUR ANNOUNCEMENT! This June/July I will hit the road with nerdy nu metal group @masterhandnerdcore.bsky.social & nerdcore superstar @lextheconartist.bsky.social! Columbus, Pittsburgh, NYC, Philadelphia and Baltimore. Tix on sale now at schafferthedarklord.com/tour Tour poster by Nick Uroseva

MAGA’s devotion to groupthink means millions of fools now have to pretend to like Kid Rock. I remember when Americans were in agreement that his music was dog shit, but now old boot-licking bigots are hearing “Cool Daddy Cool” while choking out the words “oh, yeah, man. This is great. Woo.”

Jan 2026 Patreon content is up! This month includes new track “Remember Me?” w/lyrics & remix kit, STD SHW ep69, bonus Snoop Dogg cover, bonus drum video of “Don’t You Forget About Me” & more! This is an excellent time to sign up @ Patreon.com/schafferthedarklord Thank you, friends.

Don’t (stop) tread(ing) on me (Daddy)!

Saturday May 16th, 2026: The greatest episodic wrestling-themed burlesque/drag nightlife event of all time returns to Brooklyn. Mark your calendars. Rest your voices. TasselMania is back! #TM8

In the new episode of "Collect All 79," I hunt down the remaining droids I need on my mission to collect, restore, complete and display the first 79 vintage Kenner Star Wars action figures. #starwars #kenner #toycollecting www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1g4...

Happy anniversary of “Trump told them to go peacefully but he pardoned everyone who disobeyed but people strolling through the Capitol isn’t a riot but FBI instigators started the riots but he’s a strong commander-in-chief but Speaker Pelosi didn’t deploy the National Guard” to those who celebrate.

“This is it. This is what you’ve trained for all year. New Year’s Eve. The BIG DANCE. You got this. We all believe in you.” -a coke dealer’s coach

Watch me play along with a drum-less mix of the Jackson 5's "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." Recommended for anyone who delights in children terrified of Santa. youtu.be/105hceHkw0k?...

Yesterday I dropped an album called "Holiday Favorites for the Whole Family," which collects 8 of the holiday songs I've created over the past 13 years. One is House Tickle Pfeiffer. youtu.be/M7z6Y7yWsHU?... Grab the album here: schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com

Today I dropped an album called "Holiday Favorites for the Whole Family," which collects 8 of the holiday songs I've created over the past 13 years. One is Hail Santa. www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRPC... Grab the album here: schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com

With just 1 week left 'til Xmas, I've got something to help you survive the Whamageddon homestretch. "Holiday Favorites for the Whole Family" collects 6 of my seasonal songs (plus 2 unreleased tracks) in one convenient playlist to terrorize your family. schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com

The new episode of "Collect All 79" takes a look at the vintage Kenner AT-AT! Please subscribe, nerds! #starwars #kenner #toycollecting www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdL1...

Junk Drawer Part 4 is here! This latest installment in my series of b-side compilations includes 17 previously unreleased original tracks & cover songs. ALSO! Today is Bandcamp Friday, so please download this sexy collection now. Thank you, friends. schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com/album/junk-d...

Happy birthday, @mc.frontalot.com! I'm gonna mail you all the Star Wars toys I stole from your mom's house.

Over the years, I've released 3 albums in a series called "Junk Drawer." These Bandcamp exclusives are collections of unreleased tracks: remixes, covers & songs w/samples I can't afford to clear for proper release. On Fri Dec 5th, I will release a 4th one. schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com

Nov 2025 Patreon content is up! This month includes: new Department of Darkness track "Headphones" w/instro/acapella/lyrics, STD SHW ep68, bonus cover of Beastie Boys' "Professor Booty," photo set of Kenner SW collection updates & more! Sign up today at patreon.com/schafferthedarklord

…J-D41-252-5…

Many heartfelt thanks to everybody who made this birthday special by posting comments, sharing purple pics, sending gifts, etc. Y’all really know how to make an old Darklord feel loved. #schafferday

November 14th, 2025. Today is my birthday. #schafferday If you'd like to buy me a drink... Venmo: @markschaffer718 PayPal: paypal.me/schafferthedarklord CashApp: $schafferthedarklord Also, please subscribe to my Patreon… www.patreon.com/c/schafferth... Thank you, friends.

My birthday is next Friday November 14th. In the interest of continuing a 14-year tradition, I again humbly ask that you indulge me and celebrate this non-holiday by posting a photo of you wearing something purple on the 14th and tagging it #schafferday Thank you.

The only NYC mayor that rural MAGA shitposters have ever respected is Rudy Giuliani. He was Republican. He was Christian. He was married to his cousin.

Thoughts and prayers to everyone online who is furious and terrified over mayoral election results in a city they’ve never visited. 🗽❤️

This year’s jack-o-lantern pays tribute to the one from the opening shot of my favorite horror movie: Creepshow (1982). 🎃

This month I've replayed Resident Evil VII, Resident Evil: Village & the remake of Silent Hill 2 which reminds me that last year I released a song about these things. This holiday season, please revisit my music video for "Every Survival Horror Game." youtu.be/mpmYAdXkchc?...