Had too many carbs today already so im gonna have another salad again and try to figure out what to do with myself

Ugh i overslept on my nap after work and now I feel shit

I have to at least make it to the end of the week

I want to know if he's okay and what's he's doing and what he's been up to today

Also I need to try to sleep so I don't text him god I want to though

Okay after this episode im going to clean my teeth and get ready for bed

I need to start restricting more i say after buying a bunch of snacks ffs

I put some matchaaa so im gonna have a shower and make myself a cold one 🥰🥰

Okay my plan of putting off texting my ex worked and I am 70% less likely to text him now ✨️✨️✨️

I was about to set off for the gym but then my body decided this was the perfect time for pooping soooo Nowwww im going to the gym 😭😭

Eating dinner was a struggle i don't think i'll eat anything else today tbh

Im gonna make a salad for dinner and possibly message him OR make a salad for dinner, go to the gym, work out, have a shower when I get back and then have a beer AND THEN text him

Journalling didnt help i feel so close to messaging him this hurts more then not talking

And then possible do some journaling

I am gonna have a nap though

Imma go to the gym at 8pm cause it'll be quieter and cooler as well

I survived work somehow I really need to go to the gym later on

My chest hurts so much it feels like my heart is being ripped apart please make it stop

Im so not okay and I just have an hour and half left of my shift

I just wish he would fight for me i wish he would just tell me he misses me so much its unbearable

Well it finally happened i broke down crying about my ex i really want to talk to him i really want to see him even if it means going out in the soaring heat

Every single time there is a heat wave in the UK I also get a wave of climate change anxiety :))))

I do feel better after having a shower though i do wish it was a normal temperature as well

I miss him so much its unbearable it hurts so much

Im wfh and there is no work apparently thankfully it gave me time to tidy and clean my kitchen so feeling alot better im really tempted to have a shower though

Finding it really hard not to message my ex would I would look like such an idiot for asking for no contact and message him less then 48 hours afterwards 😭😭

Morning peeps 🌱

Im telling myself to just give it a month and then i can message him of course within a month my feelings might change but it makes me feel better knowing its just a month I have to get through

I feel so broken right now i don't know how im going to sleep

Even though i know it was the right thing to do to cut contact i still want to talk to him and I still miss him everything just hurts so much

Thankfully im wfh tomorow im hoping work will give me something to do so im not thinking about him

I had a friend come over to mine and it has helped me feel better because before that I didnt know what to do with myself cause everything felt wrong and I couldnt commit to doing anything 😭😭

I miss him so much

Uft why am I getting cramps now 😭😭😭

I think i need to journal my feels

Everything feels wrong

And its meant to be 30 degrees idk what that is in Fahrenheit but its too fucking hot

Also when the UK gets hot its a different hot to other countries EVERYTHING IS HOT the air is warm and we don't have air conditioning its FUCKED

Also it is way too fuck hot today i was meant to be going to the cinema with my friend but it genuinely might be too hot so I think im going to go to the only cool place I know - my mum's house

Im feeling better then I was last night but still feeling pretty fucked up I just feel damaged

Morning peeps 🌱

Please someone put me out of my misery

Ugh ive done it ive cut contact fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Ugh i can feel it in my chest my heart is breaking all over again

Being a dino nerd is what makes me hot 🙂‍↕️

Honestly hes so fucking selfish for getting in touch with me to begin with he didnt want to have any kind of relationship with me he just wanted to make himself feel better FUCK YOU FUCK YOU I WAS DOING BETTER AND YOU FUCKING RUINED IT

UGH LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY

Im going to the cinema with a friend tomorrow and its gonna be 30 degrees and I do not want to leave the flat and i dont want to talk to people

I wanted him to suggest meeting up with me this weekend but he hasn't and in fact told me he's seeing a friend in a few days and im irrationally upset and pissed off and hurt

Well at least my ex is starting to piss me off so I don't think it'll be long until I do cut contact with him