Dylan is cute because he gave me $20 before I left for BookPeople and said “getcha ‘self something nice.” 😂

UGH I LOVE BOOKPEOPLE AND I LOVE COMING TO THEIR CUSTOMER APPRECIATION SALE ON JANUARY 1ST AND I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR

Britny: “You could argue—and I will—“

Tim, out of context: “Making bunnies feel prettier? Why is that a bad thing?”

Sunshine: “Maggie—you seem to read a lot. I remember when my brain used to be able to do that.”

I just remembered that last night I had a dream that they were making a sequel to The Road to El Dorado, and I was genuinely sad when I woke up and realized it wasn’t real.

Listen, I love a paper chain, but why is everyone in the world posting how-to videos for them right now? Like, with love, are there people in the world who actually need step-by-step instructions in order to make a paper chain? 😅

Perks of being a regular somewhere even though it’s financially irresponsible is that sometimes they give you free stuff, and then you can be like “yes, this free scone balances out with the 20 lattes I’ve bought this month!” and keep being financially irresponsible.

I LOVE THE WAY THE COLD SMELLS

There are so many things wrong with Sex and the City, but the episode when Charlotte says, “Maybe we could be each other’s soulmates,” is one of the great ones, and was incredibly impactful to High School Maggie. Truly formative to who I am now.

Just a gentle reminder that holidays should not be stressful and you get to ensure and protect your joy however you need.

I never finished reading The Chronicles of Narnia when I was younger, so I’ve started listening to the audiobooks, and my favorite thing so far is how much everyone hates Edmund. Mr. Beaver is like, “He’s a fucking snitch. Could tell as soon as I saw him.”

Me: “There was nothing like the feeling of someone holding your hand in elementary school.” Dylan: “Elementary school?!” Melany: “Yeah, you whore!”

Hank: “Could you imagine having that much power and that little worry?” John: “No. No, I can’t even imagine having no power and that little worry.”

One of my favorite parts of Texas Book Festival is when Dylan picks me up at the end of the day and I show him all of my books and tell him about all of the panels I went to. It makes me feel like a little kid being picked up from school.

I’M SO SAD ABOUT THE CANCELLATIONS AT TBF THIS YEAR AND I HATE OUR GOVERNMENT!!!

I’m making Dylan watch Unknown Number and I’m really hoping his reaction to the reveal is satisfying.

Didn’t realize exactly how much I needed Zohran Mamdani to win the mayoral race of a city I don’t live in until it happened and I literally squealed in my apartment in Austin, TX.

thank you for all the support; the statement from our union is now live here with some more reporting. now that this is public I can confirm that the majority of today’s layoffs were women of color. there are no longer any Black women working at Teen Vogue.

Just realized I’ve never heard Jeremy Allen White speak before, and I feel very surprised by his voice. He sounds so nice and regular!

Been so stressed about my speech being too long and having to cut stuff out, and Dylan just timed me and it was less than seven minutes, which I’m calling a win because I thought it was going to be, like, fifteen.

To become dependent on ChapGPT is to evacuate yourself from your own life. YIKES, no thanks. I’m gonna be alive inside every damn thing I do, even and especially the ish I don’t wanna do.

Skip Hollandsworth: “I went off to college on a music scholarship—I was the Yo-Yo Ma of Wichita Falls.”

I’m listening to the Percy Jackson series for the first time (haven’t seen the movie either), and it’s a delight. The line “I thought that would be obvious enough. The entrance to the Underworld is in Los Angeles,” made me laugh out loud.

Sunshine: “You know what’s sad is the one time a gentleman tried to send me a dick pic, I had an old phone and I couldn’t receive it.”

My best friend is getting married next weekend, and I cannot wait to make her cry with my speech. 😈

Dylan, after listening to “Wood”: “Is she saying his dick is thousands of years old?”

Hilary Duff is so stupidly beautiful. It’s upsetting to me!!! Like how dare you!!!

With the exception of Folklore, which I loved, songs with a good beat and/or that are fun to sing are all that I want from Taylor, so I’m digging TLOAS waaaaaay more than TTPD (which I mostly hated LOL).

Why did I think starting a YA slasher novel before bed was a good idea?

Dylan, a sleepy bb: “I’m so tomorrow my short week is glad over.”

FUCK 👏🏻 YEAH 👏🏻

When I see people online, even in jest, suggest that people living in Republican-controlled states should be abandoned because of their politicians, I feel a deep heartache. New York CREATED Donald Trump and none of y’all are ever talk about it the way you disparage Alabama or Mississippi.

ME: Hmm, I’m feeling really restless and anxious for some reason. THE SCREAMING HORRORS: OOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUURRRRRROOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWHHHHHHHUUUUUUURRRAA ME: *avoiding eye contact with the screaming horrors* Maybe I should book a tattoo

HELL 👏🏻 YEAH 👏🏻

some of you need to make like travis kelce and engage with a tailor swiftly

The worst thing about And Just Like That is what they did to Steve. Justice for Steve!!!

Melany, about me: “This bitch, she loves a hot glue gun.”

Ginny: “I would never be sad to be left in a Chili’s.”

Goddamn, I love a good superhero movie. Makes me feel like I could rip a phonebook in half!!!

I LOVE SUPERMAN!

*Niles Crane looks directly at camera*

My husband was incredibly popular at this wedding. 😂

Random woman at Emily’s wedding to Dylan and me: “Y’all two are giving it the business, and you know I ain’t even mad!”

It’s so annoying how many clothing brands are like, “We’re sustainable in that we use less material because we only make up to a size 8.” 🙃

Pretty sure we can start using “unprecedented” when good things happen.

My guy, that’s what we’ve been trying to do.

Drew Daywalt, on the pink crayon’s history: “Well, that’s based on a true story because when I was little I was a misogynist! I thought pink was a girl color!”

It’s so weird to me when people don’t put stickers on their reusable water bottles. Like… that’s the whole point.

Britny, out of context: “Maybe all cats are Nazis.”