My dog is upset about things and she spends all night chewing off the tip of her own tail so that when we see her in the morning the first thing she does is wag and just fling blood all over the room

But now I reread all my fanfiction and I'm all sad I didn't write more of it. What a loser

Rereading Star Wars fanfiction I wrote eight years ago and genuinely so happy with it. Best feeling in the world is wishing you could meet the author and remembering it's FUCKING YOU

Rewatching the last Jedi and yelling "Star wars fans didn't DESERVE this film!!!" repeatedly at the screen. This shit has aged like a fine wine @rianjohnson.bsky.social

The last time I watched football in person I was in the marching band of the El Camino Real High School Conquistadores which tells you both how old I am and...ok everything about me basically

Nachos should always come with chopsticks

He'll ya I'm slightly drunk at the Seahawks game. I'm telling my child that if they don't win it'll be our fault for not yelling loud enough

Ya I'm familiar with the sequel trilogy... Enter the Wu-Tang, the Wizard of Oz... Triumph of the Will...

sigh ever the toad never the frog

We started mailing new year's cards instead of Christmas cards probably five years ago and every year more of our friends and family switch. It is SO great and if you are still a chump trying to get cards mailed at Christmas, what are you even doing

In this house there's only one Good News that matters and that's the gospel of the IKEA Kallax storage system

RT if you've never had a tab of ChatGPT open 'just to do quick research'

NOBODY IS IN CHARGE IN THIS COUNTRY AND EVERYONE IN THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT WITH A LITTLE POWER IS LIKE "GUESS THIS MEANS I GET TO DO WHATEVER I WANT"

LA River goes so hard. I was trying to find a pic of it that matched my memories of a dry concrete channel with a little trickle of water down the middle and an overturned shopping cart in it and a bunch of idiots skating but nothing was quite right

My husband is very much a centrist compared to most people I know and yesterday he was like "I don't want to make any strong political statements here but I'll just note that the second amendment was written with specific circumstances in mind, and, like" and trailed off

I quit my awful job last April and today for the first time in almost thirteen years I wrote a poem

RADATION.BMF

STOP using gendered pronouns for inanimate objects!!!! One of the nicest things about English is we don't HAVE to call a dress "she"!!! I just saw someone "she" a tape measure! No! No!!!

Just hissed a desperate YES at my fridge when I discovered it did in fact contain a diet coke

Just found a very old note from my son "dear mommy. I am sorry because of calling you a 'blok head'. I should have not done that. I will do better next time." This kid has a bright future in corporate communications

I'M BORED--I THINK I'LL BECOME A BEATNIK

Today at kendo someone was complimenting the "cool purple" of my gi and I was like "oh it used to be the same color as yours, it just faded over the years" and I have NEVER felt like more of a badass

Emptying the closet is hilarious. Just found a messenger bag containing notes and problem sets from two Stanford CS graduate classes, a graphing calculator, and a pre-roll joint from probably 2014. Good times were apparently being had

Lmaooooo look what I just found in a box in the closet

Microdosing alcohol (taking sips of new year's eve champagne from the open bottle in the fridge)

Oh, how old am I? I'm "just found a fleece with 'online edition' appended to the product name, our product was seen as cannibalizing desktop software sales and was aggressively branded to make clear you were getting a weird thing" old

My 9yo is up to some sort of computer subterfuge and he's covering his tracks annoyingly well

The people DEMAND the impeccable and necessary vibes of Star Trek: The Original Series!!!

Truly, you love to see it

star wars

This and also even if someone is being pretty reasonable, if I feel my "someone is WRONG on the Internet!!" hackles rising I block them anyway so I can't keep replying to their wrong ideas

My Neighbor Totoro, the girls remind me SO much of my daughters and it's my youngest's favorite movie.

Thinking this morning of the time my friend called me on the phone with the urgent news that there was a person named Shnork in the newspaper and I was like "yeah that's the priest at my church"

Love how Beverly Clearly just threw in a line about how a school in rural California couldn't actually afford an exterminator due to prop 13 in Ralph S. Mouse. Get em Beverly

im so tired

@repdelbene.bsky.social are you involved in drafting articles of impeachment? The news from Venezuela this morning is a terrifying new phase in an already lawless presidency. Please don't tell me you'll just sit back and let him do this.

wake up babe, Trump kidnapped Nicolas Maduro

The reputation and prestige of the FIFA peace prize is now in shambles

Six year old has very suddenly entered the phase of her life where she wants to recite Calvin and Hobbes strips panel by panel to me while she's taking a shower

Decluttering and found the backpack I took on most of the plane trips I took with very young children and WOW what a time capsule

Happy new year from the late bloomers on the West Coast

Happy New Year, Bluesky!

In happier news, we DID find the stepladder. It was hiding behind a chair in the basement. So I guess even if I gain five pounds tonight from eating an entire apple crisp at least I can still reach things

Everyone in this house except me is playing video games and I am sitting at the dining room table eating ALL THE DESSERT. I made a cranberry apple crisp/cobbler and I'm genuinely obsessed with the topping. Gonna have to roll me into 2026

Full twenty minute tantrum because big sister did not approve of a loud performance of jingle bells RIGHT in her ear. 6yo demands not just appreciation but GRATITUDE for this joyful music

6yo reading a Calvin and Hobbes collection out loud to the dog. 9yo fixing his software. 12yo still asleep. We appear to have lost an entire stepladder. Husband just said "wow, there really are Legos all over this entire house"

Even when things are going real bad I still feel like the sheer variety of herbs and spices I have access to gives me some solace

Ugh we saw zootopia 2 and 6yo is preemptively crying about the nightmares she expects to have. We didn't even watch the scariest part because she made me take her to the lobby!!! I ask you

9yo accidentally overwrote his whole database with "Blah Blah Blah Blah". Surprisingly not crying about it

My kids' game involves making up names of movies and they came up with "the making of the jungle", "this dog-eat-dog love" and "laser apocalypse 4"