Alfred F. Jones
@eagletears.bsky.social
π€ 70
π₯ 67
π 828
π¦ USA πΊπΈ USA πΊπΈ USA πΊπΈ USA π¦
https://eagletearzz.straw.page/
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β§*γβΞΞ΅rΞΏβ β§*γ APH America β Barely not a joke account β 18 or older, MDNI β Matches detail, crossover friendly
over 1 year ago
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Neener neener I live in an apartment so I *KNOW* someone is
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
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Yeah but you wouldn't like it BUHAHAHAH
add a skeleton here at some point
9 days ago
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But it's temporary
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9 days ago
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Why are you making it sound like I'm coming out to you
add a skeleton here at some point
9 days ago
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This post was NOT meant to reach family oh my god
add a skeleton here at some point
9 days ago
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Getting my cooter waxed and temporarily tattooed to make it look like a baked potato that gets moldy as the hair grows back
10 days ago
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YO YO
@lakkrisaddict.bsky.social
LAUFEY IS IN FORNITE
10 days ago
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I think you mean gay HAHAHA! [He's gotten his own tube from somewhere] But don't worry about it dude. If the vibe's off I don't try to push people with dumb jokes...at least if I know they're kinda shy like you
add a skeleton here at some point
16 days ago
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You're not very committed to the bit are you? [He giggles and readily passes the yogurt to him now that the joke is over]
add a skeleton here at some point
16 days ago
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[He tears open the tube and pushes a little out before offering the fresh squeezings to Emil. He's not letting go of the tube itself]
add a skeleton here at some point
16 days ago
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I actually don't remember, lemme check- [He looks at the character printed on the front instead of the actual label] Yoooo it is
add a skeleton here at some point
17 days ago
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You want some tube to go with it? [He has a cold gogurt in his hand]
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18 days ago
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Putting wet food out for the albinos
19 days ago
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I'm so glad I don't have to make Ivan a girl this time
21 days ago
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Man I threw up riding the subway but at least I wasn't the only one. Be free my barf brother
24 days ago
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Ugh...I ate too much chocolate...
25 days ago
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HAHA WHAT'S BROWN AND STICKY
30 days ago
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Man what I'd do for a wet burrito with some verde sauce rn π€€π€€π€€
about 1 month ago
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Making my boyfriend a diy kinder egg as a surprise except there's one of those cute bear boxcutters in the capsule instead of a toy
about 2 months ago
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Bros I'm being so brave going to this meeting even though I don't wanna
about 2 months ago
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Ghostface is a different dude, or dudes depending on the movie, Jason is the guy with the hockey mask who comes outta the lake like a scary swamp monster
about 2 months ago
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Uh yeah? It's like crazy bad luck! It's also when Jason comes out and kills teenagers and adult side characters!
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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We're being gathered into one building on Friday the 13th???
about 2 months ago
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(( All my chacters on here except Alfred have song based pinned quotes on complete accident but here's where they're all from for some fun facts
about 2 months ago
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A cat Kaiju attacking the building would be awesome!!
about 2 months ago
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Dude! Don't say that! You're one of the things that I've found joy in! Just like baseball and FΞΏrtnite and feeding ducks really good shit so they all come to me at the park and then I have like 50 ducks quacking around me [Sadly tearing into a bag of hot chips]
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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W-what? Oh my god...oh my god... [He crunches forward, elbows on his knees, cradling his head] No. No, that's gotta be a rumor right?
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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Wuh? What happened? Has a third plane been found? [He takes off his headphones and spins around in his gamer chair]
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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I ain't reading all of that but if you need a new bed you can borrow my spare until you can get a new one
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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reposted by
Alfred F. Jones
Natalia
3 months ago
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Gilbert was not ready to gulp
3 months ago
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If I play the timpani drums as I approach Ivan's house I can jumpscare him
3 months ago
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Nahhhh, he's German, there's no way he wouldn't just command his dogs to go open the door if they knew how. I bet he's taught them how to fetch a beer from the fridge
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Wouldn't a dog that wants out and knows how to get out would go ahead and get going? And vice versa of course
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3 months ago
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If he does then who has he been excusing himself to let in and out of his room during our voice calls
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3 months ago
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I'm gonna secretly teach Gilbert's dog how to use a doorknob, it'll be hilarious
3 months ago
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How does Yao know what dog food tastes like
3 months ago
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Dude I am so totally gonna own this creep! [He's pulling up his profile right now]
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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No but I can look for his profile and see if he's friends with someone sharing his last name that looks like an older lady and assume
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Maybe I can go on Facebook and tell his mom
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Does that matter? I don't think doctors should be flirting with patients
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3 months ago
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Dude I was joking about him flirting, do you think he's actually? Because yeah that's serious
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3 months ago
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Man I need to change my doctor he's always giving me weird compliments like saying he thinks I'm artistic or that I have the heartbeat of a racer and cloudlike pee. Like um I have a boyfriend πππ
3 months ago
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Haha silly Feliciano you're not supposed to take them all at once
3 months ago
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reposted by
Alfred F. Jones
Ludwig Beilschmidt
4 months ago
Ligma?!... oh no, bruder. We will figure this out!
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I think Gilbert might be infected with ligma
4 months ago
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Pierogies π€€
4 months ago
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Yeah NYC NYE is iconic but nothing feels more 2026 than watching the smoking deaths billboard roll back to zero in LA
4 months ago
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Keeping a hangnail on one of my toes so that I can scratch Ivan when we're having a nap
4 months ago
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(( Just thinking of putting ice on your dick makes mine hurt Jesus Christ
4 months ago
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