“Bowl fast when there’s nothing going on champion” is now and forever will be permanently engrained into my vocabulary. #TheAshes 🏏

This is actually indefensible. Test cricket is being cleansed of Bazball. #TheAshes 🏏

A Test batsman. Take note, England* (*everyone not named Joe Root) #TheAshes 🏏

Going to bed early tonight. Can’t hack three nights in a row! Time to bury my phone and avoid spoilers so I can watch day three tomorrow #TheAshes 🏏

Cliché of all test cricket clichés but tomorrow’s first hour is absolutely series defining for England. Take wickets and bat in the sun with Australia within reach, or surrender an insurmountable lead and walk out to bat under the lights with a brand new pink ball in Starc’s hand. #TheAshes 🏏

Almost like bowling at the stumps is a good idea! #TheAshes 🏏

England have aimed at the stumps for less deliveries than it takes to get through a T20 powerplay. #TheAshes 🏏

Batted Marnus. He was my pick for leading run scorer before the series started and he’s well on his way there so far. He’s been my favourite batsman to watch for a long time now, pure class. #TheAshes 🏏

Cometh the hour, cometh the man. Ben Stokes. #TheAshes 🏏

Far too easy #TheAshes 🏏

Not how you follow up such a good first day. England need to regroup big time and make something happen as the sun sets. #TheAshes 🏏

🫣🫣🫣🫣 #TheAshes 🏏

Thank f*ck for that. Don’t think there’s a more dangerous player in world cricket than Head. #TheAshes 🏏

The irony of England being Bazballed… #TheAshes 🏏

Travis Head simply does not make sense #TheAshes 🏏

Have to say that’s a very catchable nick that’s been put down. #TheAshes 🏏

Early let off for Weatherald there. Followed up a very convincing cut first up with a terrible shot… #TheAshes 🏏

As the old saying goes, never judge a wicket until both teams bat…but Stokes must feel good knowing he has 300+ to play with as Travis Head takes guard. #TheAshes 🏏

Elsewhere in the world…great to see the Windies putting a 4th innings together and taking this match to day five. #NZvWI

That’ll annoy Jofra. Doggett was offering absolutely nothing there and was just hoping one got spooned up to the outfield. Either way, what a contribution from him. Absolutely no way he’s a No. 11! #TheAshes 🏏

Jofra driving Starc through covers at 4:06am 💉 #TheAshes 🏏

Nothing but respect for Joe Root. True great 🏏 #Ashes

Who’s up and about for day two? #Ashes 🏏

Time for the first coffee of the morning… 😴 ☕️ #TheAshes 🏏

Early to bed for another 3:30am wake up 😴 #TheAshes 🏏

😮‍💨 #TheAshes 🏏

Test cricket man. Nothing better. #TheAshes 🏏

I know sporting reactions are prone to hyperbole but that is quite simply one of the single greatest innings I have ever seen. He came in at 5-2. FIVE FOR TWO. Absolute masterclass. The best there is, and the best England has ever had. 👏 #TheAshes 🏏

I wouldn’t be able to nick off to the slips so frequently if I tried #TheAshes 🏏

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT 💯 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 #TheAshes 🏏

Why are so many English batsmen making the same mistake FFS? It’s not a skill issue, it’s simple decision making. Starc has been fantastic but he’s picking up wickets with completely unremarkable deliveries at the same time #TheAshes 🏏

Jacks, time to repay the faith #TheAshes 🏏

Inglis has been outstanding in the field all day #TheAshes 🏏

Ben 😩 #TheAshes 🏏

Shot of the day from Stokes there and it won’t be bettered #TheAshes 🏏

Impressive stuff from Carey there #TheAshes 🏏

Nice of Harry Brook to throw his hands at a wide ball right as the conditions change so his skipper can come out to bat right at the start of a new Starc spell under lights. Proper good cricket that. #TheAshes 🏏

He’s actually a cheat code. #TheAshes

What the F is he playing at. #TheAshes 🏏

If Harry Brook plays a stupid ass shot with “intent” to undo all of this hard work I will go back to bed #TheAshes 🏏

Seeing out the end of the first session will mean nothing if they let Australia back in immediately. Time to get your heads down England. #TheAshes 🏏

Brilliant foundation laid. #TheAshes 🏏

Well batted Crawley, time to crack on now. #TheAshes

Starc back in the attack #TheAshes 🏏

Ball inspection inside 18 overs is mad #TheAshes 🏏

I wonder how many Aus players are quietly thinking how nice it would be to have Nathan Lyon settling in on one end now. #TheAshes 🏏

We are (already) entering a crucial period of this test match. #TheAshes 🏏

Absolutely ridiculous stuff #TheAshes 🏏

Just get through this hour. This Aus attack is SO reliant on Starc especially without Nathan Lyon for the middle period of the day. Huge chance to pile on some runs and get ahead of the game if they get through this shaky start. #TheAshes

In the immortal words of Richie Benaud…chew for chwenny chew… #TheAshes 🏏