I got budget approval to buy software licenses for a few of us SuperNerds and SuperNerds-in-training. (I’m in the second category) They said “it’s approved, buy it, but stop naming y’all’s tools silly shit so I can use them in Senior Mgmt meetings…” Nope… the WOW, the QUOKKA, and the F-IT live on

Actual question I got at work today - “We’re thinking about going to a bar that plays Chicken Shit Bingo - you want to go with us? A chicken wanders around on a board with 9 squares and if he shits on the number you bought, you win the money!”

I’d like to see the place that draws the line at “nothing larger than a leopard, please”

I’m out running errands and my little car is getting childish with the mileage Could have been better if the “miles remaining” cooperated

Here’s the highlight of my day so far - I got added to a meeting after it ended, with a note “we’ll reschedule this one, not sure how we forgot to invite the people who present information… oops”

I finished college just before this chart goes tits up - I’d like to return to the carefree days of underage drinking and general ignorant debauchery when life didn’t feel like… this chart

My new team lead announced “I’m pretty well versed in Excel” soooooo… it took him 5 minutes to break one of my files. Seems like a decent fella, but I’m going to carry a rolled up newspaper to hit him on the nose with in the future.

I know this is some really dumb shit to get excited about, but I found out how to inject variables directly into M Code inside a Query… I’m going to put on my glasses so I can look the part of a “data nerd”

My house has been re-leveled which involved thoroughly destroying what was atrociously cheap and *definitively* ruined carpet (thanks, cats). I’ve been living on the concrete slab for a month, do not recommend. New floors in work, maybe my couch can come back this week? I miss my couch.

I’m watching the Texas voting numbers because … … reasons… … I feel like there will be a backlash if the numbers hold and Blue votes end up outnumbering Red in the final tally. I do like unpredictably, though, so this should be a few interesting months no matter what!

I done did the voting thing today. I usually vote for the loser so… my apologies to any candidates I hexed with my presence today.

I haven’t even left Portland yet and I already miss my dogs 😭

This piece sums up so many of my thoughts and feelings that I don’t have the skill to write effectively - I’ve been amazed (in a bad way) at an entire political party becoming the enemy of morality and decency seemingly overnight.

I ran into a retired (obviously former) co-worker at the grocery store and she said “I’m so glad you’re still at the Agency… you’re the best IT person I met in my entire career!” So I was polite, thank you and all that jazz, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her I don’t work in IT, never have.

I needed this laugh - reminds me of a crazy demented old man reading private notes out loud during meetings with oil executives…

I’ll support this viewpoint, no questions. We can have different viewpoints, we can have different opinions, but facts are indisputable and there is no such thing as “alternative facts”

This video gives the impression that Greg Bovino is not being 100% honest and truthful.

NEW VIDEO: this appears to be the footage from the woman in the pink coat.

Can’t lie, I’d probably get along with Gavin’s SM team over a few beers.

Mom went all-in with the Mexican food for Christmas… tamales, brisket queso dip, salsa, cerveza, and sopapilla cheesecake for dessert. (Cowboys football is mandatory at holidays because my grandfather liked Tom Landry… not kidding, that’s why)

I wouldn’t mind seeing the original version of this report that is somehow “unacceptable” to the current regime.

Dear random co-workers. This ain’t your building, so if you’re gonna squat in our cubicles for a telecom you need to bring your headphones. I don’t need to hear the full conversation regarding your mismanagement of personnel and funding. The end.

Looked at my “top bands per month” on ye olde Apple Music - i have the phone set on ‘shuffle’ and these photos do NOT agree with that concept.

ELL OH F’ing ELL

That new feature didn’t last long enough for me to sign up for an account? This is ludicrous and I will not stand for it.

This regime is so inept they can’t even nazi-noose correctly. If you’re gonna call “go big or go home” you’re not supposed to instantly ‘go home’ - it takes a bad look to a really bad look - you just can’t impress the chicks with those moves.

This is a nice data point to keep in mind - the cost for a below average person to abandon all morality and decency has been set at a market rate of $50K. Decades of hypothetical “would you do ______ for a $1M” questions can be settled in the affirmative. A Tom Homan CAVA bribe is the baseline.

I’ve been out out-of-office for 6 weeks, found that can of Dr Pepper I was looking for… Milton guarded it well from the looks of things.

I can’t argue with this hypothesis

This concept is insane and needs to be thrown out before it can pick up steam. No ‘average person’ can get ahead on a 50-year mortgage… A $200K house at 6% would end up costing $631.6K, spending a little over $1,000/month for over triple the loan value. Another housing/bankruptcy bubble…

I just love Box o’ Wine being so proud of herself, not realizing that felony charge is going to get downgraded to a misdemeanor before he’s fully acquitted… She really should slink out of town when nobody is looking, she’s an embarrassment

No! This child needs to learn candy is obtained via violent thrashing of piñatas!

I don’t much care for this young lady’s music but i might have to buy one of her albums just to support someone with the metaphorical cajones to belittle Zuckerberg (in the audience) challenging the idea that a billionaire should exist, in public. $27,397.76 per day for 100 years, that’s $1B

I love bandwagon fans when my sportsball teams are doing well, and I love piling on racist bandwagons when bigots are hiding from shadows and bumps in the night.

I think this clown needs to spend more time on Grindr and less time in front of cameras.

Apparently there exists a metric shit ton of invoices that are not getting paid due to the government “partial shutdown” - it’s in air bunnies because I could rant for days on how stupid the concept is. Moving on. I am now upgraded to “on call” to start work… after 18 holes as that is pre-paid.

That’s at least a dozen dozens of people! Seriously impressive turnout, and the constitution covering the introverts was a nice addition

I’m beyond shocked this isn’t one of my college roommates - we were not exactly choir boys, and everything involved beer.

My dad begged me to play 18 holes because “they’re not letting you work so let’s go lose golf balls”. It’s clear that my pre-Covid self is not coming back, every part of me hurts and I damaged a pec muscle however we did indeed donate some golf balls to the water gods and alligators. Fun times!

This… is going to get interesting. I’mma rest up, play 18 holes since apparently I’m not allowed to go to work, and then check back in to see what fresh new levels of fuckery they try to spin this with upon the morrow.

I would have alphabetized the list, but still… pretty hefty list regardless

No. No sir. Long hairs have a code to live by - first line is “thou shall not be an asshole or a general douche-canoe else thou shall bring shame upon all other long hairs thereby being permanently banned from any and all Iron Maiden tours”. You have brought shame upon your ancestors.

I like this idea of bringing back the “Robber Baron” phrasing. There’s a dollar value that can be hit where a person cannot spend enough to ever run out, anything beyond that is hoarding from people that only worry about food, shelter, their children being able to eat…

Holy Poopimus Maximus!! Mike needs to stay away from windows he might accidentally jump out of for a while.

Not everyone in Texas is a redneck knuckle-dragger. That look when she says “I didn’t ask you a question” is brutal and I love it.

My calico gave up the fight against old age last night after 18 short years. Her name was “temporary cat” after my ex brought her in from an abusive home, shortened to “Tempo” eventually The house is a lot quieter and I’m starting to get the feeling my tabby blames me for his lost pillow buddy.

When I said “we need somebody to integrate this infrastructure content that is so confusing” I did not intend to imply that I wanted a new assignment as Infrastructure Content Integrator. This is why I should not be invited to Senior Leadership meetings. Ever.

On a weekend?!?! Every time you think this regime has finally reached rock bottom they just do another dumb. Whatever is in those Epstein records must be *much* worse than we can imagine.

I feel like I’ve done my job as a child when my 75 year old mom is texting Princess Bride references.