I'm curious what the life expectancy of Americans would be if Puff was never born? It's 78 now, so I'm thinking... 93?

Until Trump speaks publicly, I’m going to assume he’s incapable.

Live your life so that the world will not anxiously await your obituary .

Dear Americans, welcome to the thrilling game of ‘Did this dictator die or just disappear for a day?’ We’ve been playing it with Putin and Lukashenko for decades. Enjoy the suspense.

Planning a massive birthday party because I'm coming to realize I will never have a wedding. But I still deserve the party. 🥳 (My bday is 7 months away, I am not a last minute lucy)

This administration is terrible for my anxiety disorder

@parkroseperma.bsky.social I saw you were looking for an assistant. How do I get my resume to you?

Performative leftists on my damn nerves. Signing off

I decided 12 years ago that my first son would be named Malcolm. I considered Theodore, but felt Malcolm embodied the best men I looked up to. Malcolm X Malcolm Jamal Warner And Malcolm Gladwell I never thought MJW would pass before I ever had a son. My heart's broken 💔😔

The rain has finally stopped. Back to wearing all this hair out.

When people say "happy monday"

In July of 1852, Frederick Douglass delivered one of the greatest speeches in US history. Today it’s often presented in abridged form, though, and skips what seems like a long-winded introduction. If you read the intro closely, however, there’s an ingenious structure. THREAD👇🏽

I got banned from reddit for asking if Stephen Miller had secret service protection. Let's remember how many people posted about Kamala Harris' Secret Service protection expiration date. The rules are NOT the same for both sides. Stop equating them

Please refer to it as Alligator AUSCHWITZ instead of Alcatraz. concentration camp is worse than a prison, babes Much clearer message. I can't believe a Black man becoming president released this much SUSTAINED evil my entire adult life.

"They cut medicaid to build concentration camps" is the best summation I've heard

They hacked the election! Fuck the polls.

really does feel like if we can cyberbully the House into passing changes on the shit they openly hate and get it kicked back upstairs again there’s a chance it might not survive the Senate a second time if you live in a GOP state it’s time to ruin a House rep’s life

Fuck the rich!!!!! They taste like pork, Fry them up in a pan and make a stirfry!

OMG, I haven't eaten anything but pretzels in 4 days. I need adult supervision!

What's happening RIGHT NOW is why it was worth it to them to steal this election. They got so many of you to fall in line. None of us voted for him, let's stop acting like his support is the majority!

Apropos of NOTHIN'

I managed to catch strep throat AND the flu at the same time. It's been 2 weeks and I am still coughing up a lung at my desk. But I am in a cute outfit today

"It's already yours." - The Universe

NARRATOR: The War Powers Resolution does not let Trump do this

yes i am sure

The dumbest person to walk the earth is in charge of an entire country. We're done letting people fail up.

Gilmore Girls is white culture.

Texting for dogs, ready when?

That fake fight between TACO and Elonia was terribly acted. They are absolutely not turning on each other. They are pretending so people will trust EM's deposition, but he finna LIE

Laziness in men is not by accident. It comes from people raising their sons to be served and their daughters to do the serving. I have never seen a lazy daughter in my entire 33 years on earth. Nor a lazy wife. Can't say the same for boys and men. Patriarchy is dying. Prepare your sons

Today I cussed out a customer service rep and an entire plane of people got to watch me sob my eyes out. Really fun day 🙄

Laziness in men is not by accident. It comes from people raising their sons to be served and their daughters to do the serving. I have never seen a lazy daughter in my entire 33 years on earth. Nor a lazy wife. Can't say the same for boys and men. Patriarchy is dying. Prepare your sons

Nationwide hand recount to confirm election results? read for yourself apnews.com/press-releas...

Feedback I keep getting from online spaces with youths (under age ~20) is "let me brain rot in peace" And I am TERRIFIED. These lil zombies can't handle analog thoughts. Just gpt and google. They don't even come up with their own social media prompts. I don't know who I am *not* disappointed in

Senator Chuck Schumer of New York intends on Tuesday to put a hold on all Justice Department political appointees awaiting Senate confirmation until he gets more information on President Trump's plans to accept a luxury jet from Qatar.

High on my own supply* *cuteness!

Happy Mother's Day! Sending love to all mothers, particularly the affirming mothers of trans kids, who daily stand in the breach between their children and hateful nonsense. <3

My mom. My sister, mom, moi. My sister as a mom. Me as a (dog) mom. [Twiggy has attitude] When is Aunt's day?

I will vote for any Democrat who promises to prosecute any ice agent who detains or arrests anyone illegally.

"It's already yours." - The Universe

I had so much anxious energy today that I organized my entire garage and built a bookshelf. My back is killing me. Do ladies get married just so they don't have to lift things? If so, I now understand marriage

How do non-washcloth people clean their tushy? Are u sticking a bar of soap between the cheeks? Or your bare hand? 🥴

Does that man think people buy 30 dolls in one shopping trip?!

Def thought that was TER on the carpet, but I almost fainted when I realized it's her mama, Diana Ross! 🤩🤩🤩🤩

I stay out of white people's business normally. Especially the men. But I will say this: Joshua Jackson and Don Johnson are both very very sexy. Here's Don in that new show Dr Odyssey

My gen alpha niblings sang a song a thousand times yesterday. 🎶This is a three second song This is a three second song This is a three second song🎶 They have the PERFECT anthem for their fried iPad brains with zero patience

I'm in a capitalist nightmare. On hold w pharmacy thats understaffed. My meds are as pricey as my health ins. Shopped a liquidation sale where nothing is more than 15% off. Applying for 60 jobs/wk with a masters degree in a dead industry. Skeeting this, on the remaining crumb of the social media

I'm "unhinged" for the same reason yellow is my favorite color. I was raised with 6 sisters/cousins. I was 5th in birth order. I had to pick an unpopular color to love, and a personality that doesn't allow for me to be forgotten!

I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby