Not sure there’s any genre of sports-related chat more tiresome than Pro Football Hall of Fame arguments. It’s not a sole and binary judgement of a player’s career. It’s not Valhalla. Honestly, it’s a tourist attraction. The honour is nice, and it’s good to acknowledge the history, but that’s it.

Some guys are so single-mindedly horny that it's genuinely tiresome. You could tell them you're too busy to meet because you're going to a funeral soon, and they'd ask you if you need some 'Condolence Cock' afterwards (😜)

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Bodied by my eldest , frankly

Have pretty much stopped even glancing at the iPhone automated transcripts of my Dad’s abrupt voicemail messages. AI software is no match for a North Lanarkshire man allergic to spending more than 15 seconds on the phone. Needless to say, Newcastle didn’t come up.

Sticking around for the second half of the Bucs-Rams game felt like a mistake at half-time, and it’s proven to be so. The only big surprise is that Stafford is still in there with 5min left. Why do coaches do it? He doesn’t need practice handing the ball off. It’s not his first year.

I have a lifelong, unshakeable protective feeling about Teddy Bridgewater. Always rooting for the guy. Every time somebody sacks him, I’m instinctively disgusted. Don’t they know about his 2016 leg injury?!

My latest late-night Sky Sports NFL complaint is that I’ve seen the advert for the new Sky Xmas comedy Tinsel Town about 20 times, and it’s not even released for another two weeks. Rebel Wilson’s other releases this year have apparently been Juliet & Romeo, and Bride Hard. Yeeesh.

I’d get a lot more excited about English rail fares being frozen if the trains were remotely affordable in the first place. (This is NOT an invitation to tell me that fares are actually perfectly sensible if you split your journey into seven legs by booking a month in advance by using TicketGoose.)

Not sure that even some Chiefs fans want to see a happy Harrison Butker. Ewww.

Amazing, the game on 5's Big Game Night has gone into overtime so they've moved it onto 5 Action because obviously they couldn't possibly reschedule the programme that follows it, The 1970s Supermarket At Christmas

JSN just set the Seahawks single season franchise receiving record. we haven't hit Thanksgiving

Can our rotten media please, please stop doing the ‘Bradley Walsh outraged’ clickbait format for every single quiz show on the box? It’s exhausting. And hardly anyone cares enough about Bullseye to read it anyway.

It is genuinely hilarious that they accidentally made Twitter transparent, honest and borderline useable. For a whole weekend.

Ian Miles Cheong: Everyone must go back to the country where they are born. Please don't tell people I'm living in Malaysia, where I was born, but spend my entire life complaining about America. Ian Miles Cheong: *has been secretly living in Dubai this whole time*

imagine being this big of a fuckin loser

‘If there had been one more lap, this could have been very spicy indeed!’ Yeah, but it wasn’t, Crofty. If the race was a lap longer, they’d have put another lap of fuel in the car.

When you think of Vegas, you think of…Catherine Zeta-Jones? Ok, cool. #F1

Turns out that “Go for four” might be an actual Bills thing I wasn’t aware of. Not blaming myself though. Don’t think it’s mainstream enough for movie tagline punnery.

Can normally forgive commentators confusing team-mates in F1 (if they acknowledge they did it), but not sure Crofty and Button have an excuse for mixing up Hamilton and LeClerc this weekend. Lewis has a plasma glitter ball on his head.

Jings, I really thought F1 would be protecting the Marshalls even more after that scary incident in Mexico. Shouldn’t be anywhere near the corner, even under double-yellows. Bit late for a VSC now!

I know F1, like a few sports, struggles to balance genuine sport with cynical business, but I really didn’t need a two-minute barely-veiled advert for Wicked as an ‘inspiring’ intro for the Vegas GP. The fact they think they’re cleverly hiding it only annoys me further.

New advert on Netflix, in which it suggests using Gemini to tell you what episodes of Stranger Things you 'actually' need to watch before the fifth season returns. Something bleakly on the nose about a streamer merrily running 'some of this is disposable!' ads about itself.

Brought in two Liverpool defenders into my fantasy team this morning. The cursed season continues 😅

Wouldn’t be surprised if Flavio Briatore hired a member of staff to follow him around applauding at all times.

Touch wood, but we’ve managed to get halfway through Q1 since far without anyone sticking it into the wall, which is better than I expected #F1

Full wets? (Takes a long drag on a cigarette) Ah that's a name I haven't heard in a long time

Like a lot of street tracks, Vegas looks great on the wide shots, but as soon as you’re looking at the track action then they could be racing around an industrial estate in Burnley for all the difference it makes.

That seems like an odd format for a tie-break. I assumed they’d just play more tennis. But I can see why he won.

It is absolutely my fault for not checking earlier, but I am mightily relieved to find you can specifically turn down the sound of the fan in CloverPit, because it was starting to get to me a bit.

After one day of the first Test, England have apparently won The Ashes. That was quick.

Whoopsie-doodle.

TMI George. Save it for your tailor.

I swear that Netflix et al are going to keep gradually making their shows quieter and quieter, to a point where my TV will explode the next time I turn the Xbox on without lowering the volume first.

Imagine getting 10 fries in your meal, and that counts as you hitting the jackpot.

Scotland are going to kill me one day. Sweet Jeebus.

You’d honestly think Scotland were the team a man short here.

“Scotland are about to bring on Shankland and Adams” - appreciate the attacking intent, but that still feels like a net zero sub 😬

What a pointless, stupid penalty. Folk will be fuming at VAR again, but VAR didn’t commit the foul.

The entire momentum of this match in the last 15min has Heartbreak For Scotland written all over it. Can’t keep inviting a team to come at you this much with ten minutes to go, never mind an hour.

Found out I’ve probably lost a fair chunk of regular income just as McTominay scored with that overhead kick, and I’ve got a real maelstrom of emotions going on now.

Comments sections on BBC News stories are great, because they give a lot of people who seem to be inactive at any given time on any given day a chance to repeatedly opine who they think is draining this country dry. Spoiler alert: it’s everybody else.

Wow, he looks just like him!

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Guessing that’s been cleared with the US Justice Department. Not that they seem too bothered about investigating that type of crime these days.

Not sure anything sums up the Labour Party at the moment than the Home Secretary claiming her new asylum plans will “unite a divided country”, when all they’ve done so far is split the party further.

Big very scary announcement that I never thought I'd have to make so I put nice music and a relaxing nostalgic background on it for you.

I celebrate Scorigami with more genuine fervour than I’d have for any team winning the Super Bowl. That’s the good stuff right there.

In a busy weekend, Scotland have managed to ‘pull a Scotland’ in the football and the rugby. A truly exhausting country.

That sound you can hear is Scottish rugby fans crumpling up their World Cup draw permutations. How many implosions is this team allowed before someone’s held to account?