I fear I'm cooked

Minuting a meeting where one attendee has your dead name and another has your actual name is extremely confusing 😭🥲

Artist: steemyart Media: adventure time Source: https://twitter.com/steamylite/status/1741514029749748185

Kinda feel bad for bloodhounds. Like, they're whole thing is to sniff out people and blood, but several other breeds are better at that while also being stronger on average. They have the bronze medal in their ancestral job and it isn't fair 🥺

Artist: meijio3 Media: bocchi the rock! Source: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/106906153

Phrases like "I'm from the city", referring to government officials, is kind of funny. Like, fuck man, I'm from the city too. You gonna be more descriptive or??

Felt bud, might weiser later :P

i dont trade stocks but i do Aid Gocks

Sometimes I wish there was an ad campaign for a film where the marketing was just like "sooory we didn't do a very good job, but we kinda need to recoup some of our money so... 👉👈 go see it?". It's explicitly not the event of the summer, the most tepid marketing imaginable.

Somebody eated the traffic cone 😭😭 can't have shit in england

Rolled my ankle while walking my dog, and I immediately remembered all the horror stories I've heard about broken or sprained ankles. Took 2 steps and I was fine; horribly underwhelming.

If there isn't a Surgeon Simulator porn called Surgeon Stimulator I'm gonna flip my shit

If an EMP suddenly took out all the electricity in my area, my only request is that this would be the last image I saw before it went off.

I liked this one guys cmon give it some interactions :(

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually trans or just faking it, and then I remember that when I get out of the shower and put a towel on, I unconsciously leave room for the boobs I don't have yet 👍

If you vored an experienced caver, do you think he could just make his way back up?

Recently had my application to a freelance weathervane company rejected. I didn't get the gigging whirligig gig.

Just had to put a fresh set of batteries into my alarm clock, which I haven't had to do in years. Looked at where my alarm lives to see what time it was while setting the time on my alarm (whose time had reset, and which was in my hand). FFS.

Always floored when I respond to my dad's 1200th rant about migrants with "I don't know how you want me to react to this" and he responds "what if I'm just making conversation". No, you were advocating for genocide, a dialogue does not consist of one man talking about how much he wants to shoot ppl.

They say history doesn't repeat itself, and yet every 10 years there's another film about Beowulf and it always performs mediocre. I call bullshit.

boobies would fix me

Wild to think boobs are the main reason it's impractical for me to do HRT at the minute...

If you made a man out of fruits and vegetables, and he got depression, would you call that lentil illness or...?

DID YOU KNOW? To cater to the recent surge in Christianity in the USA, the Mario Galaxy games on Nintendo Switch have been changed so that instead of Bowser kidnapping Peach, he causes the rapture to happen. It's purely a coincidence that heaven just so happens to look identical to Mario Galaxy.

Artist: meyshi Media: bocchi the rock! Source: https://twitter.com/Meyshi29/status/1602504118316060672

I need to write a script where the main character goes to an undead club so the scene can open with a skeleton singing "I think we're abone now" to the tune of "I think we're along now". That would be really funny I think.

I swear 3d Mario games are the only ones I can complete in a normal amount of time. I can play 2 hours of Hollow Knight over the course of 3 weeks, 15 hours of Balatro in 2 days. 3d Mario? I can beat that in like 3-5 2 hour sessions in a week. Can't do that with any other video game wtf.

Artist: anpan sora Media: bocchi the rock! Source: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/126338377

When I started my job, I did not anticipate having to deal with as many esoteric numbers as I do -_-

I find it really funny when ads are really dramatic with their wording. "Live your life how you want to; just do what you want; don't let anybody else dictate your life". I appreciate the encouragement, but why is it coming from an ad for lactose free cream?

Turning off your watch history on YouTube gets rid of the recommended page, and I decided yesterday to turn my history back on, and YT evidently already knows me quite well because these were the first two shorts it recommended me...

If you think about it, "bumbling" being used to describe being clumsy and imprecise is quite rude, considering the world's most famous bumblers (bees) are renowned for their efficiency 🤔

A fun thing about the Eiffel Tower is that it was initially built as part of a series of celebrations for the 100th anniversary of the French Revolution, and one of the other frontrunning designs before they built it was a Massive Fucking Guillotine.

id like to thank everyone for their support so far on this! this has been so so successful and in 14h we're already at 10%! thankyou so much. share more if ur able!

A fun thing about my job is that, because I work for a public authority, I am meant to remain apolitical. HOWEVER, the apprenticeship material does mention the affect politics can have on my organisation, so I get to write shit like "some may say that..." knowing full well I am some.