EDM DJ location

I'm not gonna lie to y'all. I feel like my funny is being wasted over here, but I don't have it in me to go back to the cesspool that is Twitter. Thank you for listening.

So I'm walking mine in my own business and a bird pooped on my face. It got on my cell phone and my sunglasses. I know this is considered good luck, but I'm not feeling very lucky right now.

You are in his DM's, but I know where his mom goes to church. We are not the same.

The bike and electric vehicle industries are currently doing the bird man hand rub watching these gas prices

While your farm will be on jd's website acretrader.com

I have never seen these around Alexandria now I gotta keep an eye out

You should've got gas yesterday before you went into the house now you have to get it before you go to work and the price went up $40...

I want a hot pickle so hot. I have to pause before I can keep eating it. Do any of the hot Chito girls know where I can find me a hot pickle in Virginia

Something I think is super racist that probably isn't. When I'm in North Carolina I can find a hot pickle at any gas station or convenience store. I've been looking for a hot pickle in Virginia for about three months now. It feels very racism adjacent cause I can find sweet pickles everywhere.😭

I was running around the house naked when I accidentally drank a bottle of Windex (don't ask). But it did stop me from streaking!

My grandma would slip me five dollars and tell me not to tell nobody. My mom is over here slipping my daughter $100. you know times have really changed.

Today is a good day to send a teenager $20. Not mine though because her Nana sent her more than $20 because Nana's are always showing out.

I want a new car, but the price of life is just too crazy right now

But did your man ask you if your voter registration was up-to-date?

My Femmes? Violent

My White Band? Average

One thing I do love about my country, is that we never really needed the elites to celebrate ourselves or to do the right thing. While the president reinstates non-union soldiers there will be a local school system somewhere that is in the process of removing one from the marquee. And I love that.

Because the most important people have always been the people that wanted to keep my people enslaved... as the president reinstates another person that was not part of the US. Another person that would've gladly told the president no, I am not part of United States. I'm part of the confederacy

You smile like a dreamer and I think that's pretty dope.

This applies to children and pets

I had to call the power company to switch my electric and the representative sounded just like Peggy Hill! It was the most adorable thing

Nothing more needs to be said.

Same with children. I've asked people who is for spanking kids, whether they realize spanking prisoners of war is a violation of the Geneva convention.

👍🏼💯

Same goes for humans.

Friendly reminder if you have a dog that needs to be walked 3 to 4 times a day for at least 15 to 30 minutes and all you're doing is letting it out front to pee. You are not a dog person you're a cat person in disguise.

Friendly reminder, if you do not know how to train a dog without physical abuse, you don't deserve a dog.

Precise tools work better than blunt instruments.

When I wrote down the list of things I wanted from my next partner I wrote down must have whimsy. My daughter just broke up with her boyfriend because there wasn't enough whimsy. If you want whimsy, you deserve whimsy!!!! I hope that everyone gets to experience that.

I'm having animal crackers and a Sprite for dinner. This is how you use free will.

You know how in a library no one’s trying to sell you anything? That’s how the internet was.

My weekend? Vampire.

My Melon? Blind

I am really, really, really concerned about the digital black face that is happening.

Guys I just downed three ibuprofen and I'm about to go get six more. I'm not saying I'm trying to leave the planet. 😭😂 but I'm too old for these cramps.

There's a lady at my job who does not look like me. She called me on teams to talk about a supervisor that looks like her. She was trying to get me to gossip about this man. Girl, if you don't go on and get off my computer. Do you think I'm gonna talk to you about somebody that could be your dad?!?

Does anybody need a uterus? I'll be throwing mine out of the window in about an hour, so just let me know.

Stelllllaaaaaaa

Lilmamma is growing up

Sorry about flooding y'all's timeline. I'll be on my way now.

My daughter just broke up with her boyfriend, and she told him the main reason is because there was no whimsy! That little girl is me for real😭

So one day about 2yr ago I'm on Twitter and this dude DMS me. He said the goal is to have a magical adventurous summer and I would love for you to be part of that with me. And then he had suggestions of everything I liked. Yoga, cosplaying, music. It was so much whimsy I've been with him ever since.

I don't really like the argument of just don't let it bother you. If I say any other slur. If I left a museum, saying a slur against the museum that it was about. If I left the American Indian museum or the Holocaust museum. And I'm just saying slurs against both of these ethnicities. Now what???

I played KOF 13 for the first time at Arcade UFO before the console release was even announced. If I remember right, it had a slightly different English translation.

First of all, I'm American. So I'm reading the BBC caption like "what are the condoms doing with tubes and chocolate and pee?!?!"

You know how I know it's the most important slur you can't even type it all the way out. I've never actually seen other slurs written because everyone so focused on this slur. I've never seen the slur against Mexicans or Italians written. I've only heard it. But I see my slur every day.

The N-word is a slur. Every group in the world has a slur, but the most important slur is the N-word. You can tell me I'm wrong but from the shores of Louisiana to Scotland, the N-word is the most controversial slur that everyone loves to say.

The N word is a very specific slur towards a small ethnic group. It does not refer to all of the African diaspora, even though this has occurred overtime. It is homegrown in America towards an American group of people. But the world loves to say it, s/o to the wife of the New York mayor

Not too long ago this country put their flags at half mast for a person who hated me. It had me breaking ties with people over a confirmed bigot. People lost their jobs cause they weren't morning a bigot properly. In my country, the more you hate Black American women, the more it will uplift you