Amazon are partnering with Comic Relief to sell their red noses. Last year Comic Relief raised £34 million which is how much Jeff Bezos makes in six hours. Dig deep everyone.

When you're busy doing the washing up and get asked for your opinions on the Six Nations

Walking past a closed down Brewdog is a pleasant reminder that evil doesn't always triumph

Listening to endless announcements in the "quiet carriage"

My dishwasher has the comedy timing of Ronnie Barker

So you can now be sent off for denying the opportunity to score a goal that was scored. Well done to the footballing authorities.

Just pleased I don't have to teach checks and balances in the US constitution these days

I'm a man who gets told to f*** off quite a lot. Today was the first time it happened while I was wearing a Santa hat.

The festive season only starts when you've been let down by Ocado.

The Prevent section of WHSmith

Never about the kids is it, Telegraph. Just the numbers.

"You know you can order from your table now with the QR code" "Yes, I do but it is never going to happen"

As someone with knowledge and experience of setting #gcse grade boundaries is it safe to turn on the radio again?

Open Day at Cambridge yesterday: the half marathon of open days.

This will annoy the people on X who were so passionate about the right to kill people with their cars.

At the front, next to Rudolph and all of the other Reijnders

The best bit of this game so far was the twenty minutes I spent trying to register for Discovery+ #europaleaguefinal

I'd hope they won't find as many chain-free buyers too stupid to use Rightmove round here.

So, #Biffa employees trying their best to drive the Cetti's Warblers away from their nest in the River Park. If you try hard you can put a strimmer right through it. Fucking idiots. #portsunlight

Someone on my estate Facebook group has just demanded that it become 'a true platform for freedom of speech.'

They've managed to frame an article to make it sound like parents value the current EHCP system which, for many, is a long and laborious route to basic support. It is clearly a system that should only be used to assign significant support in a specialist setting. inews.co.uk/news/250000-...

A trade deal and a new Pope. Too much excitement for one day.

You're all getting excited about #swifts because you haven't just watched a pair of whitethroats flirting #portsunlight river park.

Skylark over the house (sound up). They're not as numerous as during COVID (thanks, crap dog owners) but they're having a decent spring so far (fingers crossed).

First sighting this spring of the Cetti's Warbler at the Port Sunlight River Park yesterday...but this morning a Sedge Warbler too! Not bad for an old landfill site

Can anyone recommend a camera with a faster shutter speed?

To remember the suffering of our Lord I'm driving three hours to Brunton Park to watch Carlisle v Port Vale. Except in this version, I'm hoping Jesus kicks the s*** out of a legionary and doesn't get crucified.

We're so close to our £1000 target to start funding the tools and equipment we need for our new #tree nursery. Donations and shares gratefully received. Many thanks. @envleeds.bsky.social @leedsleaf.bsky.social @domspracklen.bsky.social gofund.me/ddccc2ea

The 'when did America become so cruel?' discourse is boiling my historian piss today.

Autism parenting tip: don't arrive at a bookshop 15 minutes before it opens

I guarantee the winner will end up the worst-dressed person you've ever seen.

Thanks to tariffs on the Farne Islands they've got no choice but to relocate again to Wisconsin. www.countryfile.com/wildlife/bir...

Now I'm angry about my trade deficit with all the charity shops I've given books to over the years. They've treated me very badly.

When you didn't think you could get more excited about a forthcoming book but you just did. An author and illustrator immersed in landscapes. Can't wait.

What people forget about Top Gun is that Ice Man was the actual winner of the Top Gun Trophy while Maverick was busy doing sad face.

"AI paint this but replace John Lewis down from heaven with Strom Thurmond looking up from hell"

But Corey Booker never did a Year 7 parents evening for three sets after full teaching day.

Nice for Politics teachers to no longer have to mention the vile Strom Thurmond in their notes. BBC News - Cory Booker breaks record for longest Senate speech after 24 hours www.bbc.com/news/article...

I'll be honest I thought we'd had all the debates we needed about the rule of law and why that needs to be a thing.

Today Carlisle lost 3-0 and I went to IKEA. Excited for the rest of the weekend.

For some the first sign of spring is an emergent daffodil, the song of a chiff chaff or the smell of mown grass. But for me, it is summer hours at the tip.

Here's a spring statement we can all enjoy (volume up). Skylark at River Park, Port Sunlight.

It might not seem like the major issue, but the historical illiteracy of an American administration complaining that freeloading Europeans haven't done enough to militarily control the Suez Canal is quite the thing, eh?

A statue of Byron rejected by Westminster Abbey, Isaac Newton's walking stick, 8th century Epistles and the handwritten draft of Winnie the Pooh. Where am I?

Thank goodness we've got AI to help plan this week's trip to Cambridge.

A beautiful morning on the West Coast Mainline. And a bargain at only £320. Thanks, Avanti!

Those average normal people not listening again. Can't think why.

Well this was pretty bloody life-affirming. Levellers Collective even getting the Liverpool Phil audience on their feet (not always an easy ask). 9 piece, multi-instrumentalist, acoustic joy.

An unusual sight at Norton Canes services today. Lots of people taking photos of these but not of the Shrewsbury Town football team who were also there. If only it had been Mansfield (niche football nickname joke)

A bit late to the party but it is glorious to hear chiff chaffs singing in the sun.