What To Know About ‘The Super Mario Galaxy Movie’ https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-the-super-mario-galaxy-movie/

More high art on the refrigerator #art #painting

Antiprotons now free with your Prime membership.

The best part of being an adult is that I can decide that my art is good enough to put on the refrigerator.

I don't know where Hormuze is but the straight people there need to get their act together.

Also known as a North Korean Daddy Daughter Dance.

Spring forward to March 2029.

The video for Uptown Girl features some of the most cunty-man-prancing in popular culture.

And the lesson is, never stop for a red light.

I feel like you're shouldn't be executed for killing a person who's profession doesn't exist anymore.

"You dance like Elaine Benes and run like Phoebe Buffay." - Gen X insults.

Why? What did he say?

The gays need to cool it.

Not now Melania! Christ, read the room.

Is it "Wang Chungs" or "Wangs Chung?" I need it to be right. It's for a work email.

I'm going to tell my grandkids this was the Board of Peace.

Honestly, same.

Si Beag Si Mhor #mandolin

Calling the ham "Voluptuous James" until my mom tells me to stop.

"Less yapping, more unwrapping." Me ruining Christmas.

"The Mamas & the Mamas" a "The Mamas & the Papas" all-lesbian cover band.

What if the climate change induced flooding is the real Green River Killer?

The space between the meerkat and the beaver is actually called the taint.

"Sleeping Orchid" - digital 2025 #art

This season of Stranger Things taught us that Power-Twinks, like Will Beyers will not tolerate monsters who mess with 1) their straight crush, 2) their one black friend, and 3) their bad-bitch lesbians.

I refuse illegal orders, I refuse legal orders, actually I'm just really bad at doing what I'm asked to do.

"Tending the Orchid" 2025 digital #art

Biohub sounds like a porn site that is just porn but extra juicy.

David Giuntoli and Chace Crawford stole those jewels.

Science, I'm still bald!

Gross, we know where those hands have been.

This is the future that Donald Shoup wanted. #parking #urbanism

Sung to the tune of "Sunshine on my Shoulders" by John Denver.

As predicted by Sound Garden in 1994.

Into Fat Bear Week, mostly so I can say "fat bear" at work.

Sung to the tune of "The Freshmen" by The Verve Pipe.

Well, well, well, it's not so easy to just pin things on your political opponents, is it? Also, not hot.

Is he hot? Do we know if he's hot yet?

CBS News changed its rules for editing interviews on “Face the Nation” after Kristi Noem, the homeland security secretary, accused the network of deceptively editing her appearance. Said Noem, "This is outrageous behavior by CBS, I've killed dogs for less."

Sure sex is great, but have you tried <checks notes> walking?

Tuna fish implies the existence of a tuna bird, tuna dog, and a tuna woman.

Am I the first?

My hips are full of lies.

When women are uncircumcised.

Why is it called a hysterectomy and not a gut renovation?

Sung to the tune of "Mombo #5"

I'm all for nationalizing certain companies, but I wouldn't have started with the 1990s favorite computer chip maker.

Sung to the tune of "Stayin' Alive" by the BeeGees.

Every gay man in the country whispering "fuuuuck" at the same time.

I referred to Sean Charles Dunn as "Sandwich Mangioni" in conversation today. I'll be taking the rest of the week off.