<<<<< McDonald’s breakfast after being in a random man’s bed all night

My dream job is to be Jennifer Garner and once a year film those simple capital one adds where she’s just flying around having a nice time, no gimmicks, just selling miles, and then be left alone for the rest of my life.

Okay need to hear this on the dance floor with some dumb gay guys ASAP

as a gay slut I feel very lucky that I never called my real father “daddy” growing up

Can you f*gs just write the caption for me?

If you hear me belting out Jade’s “Natural at Disaster” on the street either sing along or mind your business

Bluesky deserves better award shows (but the winners are great)

Nate Barzgate is bombing so badly tonight even Tina Fey almost bombed

OH SHE WAS PISSED!!!!!!!!

OMFG the immediate Stephen Colbert standing ovation yesss daddy!!!!

Ok time to move on from yesterday’s school shooting just like the other 46 school shootings so far this year

I’ll watch till the end of the VMAs if every commercial is the KATSEYE Gap video

SHE WON!!!

dream blunt rotation:

My father is on Bluesky (but he’s NOT allowed to follow me) and he commented on a political post and got over 500 likes (so proud!!) After looking over all the strangers that liked his post, he said to me: “You were right, this site is all gay people!” 😂😂🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🌈🌈💅💅🦄🦄

Oh btw I added one of these photos to my albums and today a man asked me if I’d wear a backwards hat for the whole time…I gladly said yes and he got me an uber 💅

About to tell this blonde girl she’s soooo pretty #straightwedding

Bringing Peak Gay Sluttiness to this Straight Wedding

Oh hey boys btw it could be a really cute date to go to the Ariana Grande concert together, u buy tickets, I’ll buy the snacks and wear a really cute outfit for u haha thanks babe love u!!

Took the subway to my colonoscopy like a true New Yorker and the doctor said I had one of the best colons he’s seen in months 💅💅💅💅 #GayJohnColonoscopy2025

So does anyone wanna top me at 6am tomorrow?

Cheers! #GayJohnColonoscopy2025

I hate apple juice #GayJohnColonoscopy2025

Just had my last meal for 24 hours 😭 #GayJohnColonoscopy2025

To the gay boys who laughed at me trashing the straight proposal at the park today, thank you, you’re hot

Can someone explain the comments to me? I was high when I posted this and got scared lol

The turkey club wrap (no cheese, extra mayo) I’m eating rn is so f*cking good

The boy I sent this to didn’t deserve it

So I just went to a hookup and the guy told me he’s not into kissing SO I LEFT!!!!

Taking your shoes off on a flight is gross

Bestie asked me to get pre rolls for the beach tomorrow so that means I gotta test one out tonight to be safe…

I’m just a dumb gay boy caught in the middle of a lesbian and non-binary fight … help !!!!

Having a very healing Sunday…got d*cked down for an hour…now I’m perfectly stoned…walking along the water…planning my Taco Bell order…

Sometimes I adjust my hat like a girl adjusting her ponytail before giving head

The cruising area of the park has this one daddy who rides around on his electric razor scooter and eyes the boys down and honestly he’s my KING

Okay I did the insta location thing but Bluesky can have my location idgaf

Omg Bloomfies I’m seeing my straight boys tonight and I texted one of them asking if his girlfriend is coming…and he’s left me on read for hours 😱😱😱

Real friends know what day you have therapy

OMG Bloomfies look I can be masc !! 💅

So I guess for the rest of my life I am going to text “STOP” to at least 3 random numbers daily 🙄

UPDATE I have woken up to a notification that he messaged me again for two days in a row BUT by the time I check them he’s deleted again!!! My husband is so crazy 🤪

DL dude was so hot he convinced me to redownload Snapchat and we talked for weeks and then he blocked me yesterday 😊

Thank heavens we took a photo before I bawled my eyes out for 2 hours!!! 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ KESHA AT MSG WAS AMAZING

KATSEYE was right…loving you is a GAME BOY and I should THROW IT AWAY, BOY!!!!!

The only bear I can get a date with these days

I started posting on my insta story again this week to share vacation updates so therefore I get to do the classic gay guy “insta story liked this one” right??? 😘

NOMINATION SECURED ✅

GOING CRUISING, MISS U BLOOMFIES 💙

Wow I’ve been thinking about it and… everything changed when the fire nation attacked…

Gay people are just the best