y’all I know I’m once again Posting My Way Through It and no one really cares but I’m finally on a fucking plane *and* I met a Very Nice Gay Guy who chatted with me at the gate to help pass the time and tbh I could cry??

y’all I’ve been at the airport for 6 hours and I’ve had 1.5 drinks so do we think now is the right time to ask the woman next to me wearing a bedazzled tr*mp 2024 hat about the pedofiles or

If I’m stuck in an airport for 6+ hours I should be allowed to shove and/or k*ll at least one slow walker every hour, right?

any chicagoomfs wanna come keep me company during my unexpected 7.5 hour layover at O’Hare?

I’m in yet another hotel, I don’t make the rules!!

men from the great plains >>>>>

traveling for work today and flight #1 of 2 is delayed by an hour and a half. I *had* a two hour layover at O’Hare before flight #2 that’s now been cut down to 30 minutes…

gonna need at least 3-5 business days to recover from Ariana’s live vocals

me when I want him to eat my ass:

Evan Mulrooney if you read this I’m free on Thursday night and would like to hang out. Please respond to this and then hang out with me on Thursday night when I’m free.

hey wyd

🎶 lettuce be glad, lettuce be greatFUL, lettuce rejoicify that goodness could subdue the evil workings of YOUUUU know pooooo 🎶

idk about y’all but when *I* was a little girl I always dreamed of living through record heat waves, flash flooding, yearly wildfires, and overall unprecedented times 🥰

y’all are doing the most today and I’m ever so grateful

wow gala apples really are that girl huh

ngl I almost took a bite 🤤

accidentally got zooted to the moon last night, can anyone explain anything that happened on HOTD? mostly just like who were all those people??

y’all I bet you didn’t think this was possible but Cody is somehow even nicer and cuter in person???

okay girls what are we listening to and loving lately that isn’t hyperpop or super EDM/house heavy? love those vibes but I’m craving something different, preferably leaning more into Americana/folk, 90s/early aughts vibes, etc etc

This is going to ruin the tour

wow love waking up to some good news for once

me trying to flirt when bloomf is Too Hot:

quick update we’ve managed to get her logged into most of her apps *and* I’ve shown her the joy of auto-populated 2FA text codes (still gonna need **** **** but maybe just two at this point)

finally convinced my mom to get a new phone and I’m gonna need several glasses of wine and at least three **** **** to get me through the next few days of playing tech support 🫠

home visiting my mom for a few days and found this old photo collage from [redacted] years ago. tag yourself I’m literally most of them

now that emmy noms are out is this a safe space to say that I haaaaaaated (like really truly despised) the hacks finale?

hey quick question why are men like that

listen I’m nothing if not predictable 🤷‍♀️

okay been away from my phone all day why are we talking to mitch

okay I’m gonna need everyone in Dallas to stop saying “it’s a dry heat” thinking it will make me feel better about a high of 97° (it doesn’t!!!!)

alright sharks, hear me out: an airline that only lets you fly if you can prove that it isn’t, in fact, your first day on earth (and we *will* be collecting references)

if I ever become the person I pack for when going on a work trip (multiple workouts, nice dinner outings, leisurely reading) it’s fucking over for you hoes

meanwhile I’m over here like

hbd usa

just kidding I’m staying home, E! is running a Pretty Woman marathon

brb gotta go catch up on my stories* *bloomf’s Replies tab

crazy what the right pose + a little dehydration will do??

ugh okay fine y’all can send your FCs directly to me

listen sometimes you just gotta get a little stoney baloney and crunch like a motherfucker

walking half a mile in 100° heat just to get a haircut, being gay really is a curse

hey can everyone be normal for just like a second

I’ve avoided posting a lot about the books I’m reading* but I finally made it through this Big Diva after years of being intimidated by her (many pages! lots of footnotes!) but ya know what? I really loved it & I’m kinda proud of me for sticking with it 🥹 anyway this was too earnest, as you were!

she loves her morning naps behind the curtains 🥹

okay I do think we’ve lost the plot a little

as someone who recently got several geese permanently inked on his body I am not loving this discourse

sometimes I worry I’m too online and then I see the things some of y’all post and I no longer worry 🥰

nothing I love more than sipping a little gay cocktail and yapping with the girls

fuck I love this city

wow Olivia really did it with maggots for brains into u + me = <3

y’all why the everloving fuck are people shooting off fireworks tonight what did I miss did it happen