🎶The men who are upset about providers screening are precisely the reason why providers have to screen🎶

@jakevig.bsky.social just stopped by to brighten your timeline…

Remember when every mom in the 90s discovered sponge painting and suddenly every wall looked like it had a yeast infection in Tuscan beige?

Can’t believe no one’s opened a sperm bank called “Get a Load of This Guy.” Like… how is marketing just leaving money on the table and in the cup?

Hiiiii, should I get some new frames like these and swap out the classic black frames???

If you can"t be the sharpest tool in the shed, you can always be the hoe

My toxic trait is that I get excited when people are mean to me because now I get to be even meaner.

Here’s some great life advice. If someone wants to treat you like a toy, be Annabelle.

Dating is just slowly realizing you’d rather be alone with delivery and WiFi.

My toxic trait? I think screenshots are an Olympic sport and I’m going for gold.

I only dissociate at work Monday through Friday from 9 to 5. I’m a professional.

If you’re trading dignity for brunch and a ride home, congrats—you’re undercharging.

It’s always the ‘not escorts’ dragging escorts, same photographer, same poses, same group alibi, now with the added bonus of calling yourself an influencer or ‘atmosphere model’ like that somehow earns you moral high ground.

Study Finds Clients Have Best Experiences When They Follow Provider Directions, Scientists Shocked In a groundbreaking discovery that has rocked the adult services industry, researchers have confirmed what providers have known for decades: clients who actually read a provider’s website

Hear me out A few hundred of us who hate ICE should “join up,” act super patriotic, then quietly leak raid locations like it’s the world’s most chaotic group project. Think Ocean’s Eleven, but everyone’s bilingual and morally employed.

Well??

When I screen and verify a booking request and, without me even asking, he bypasses the deposit and just sends the full amount… congratulations sir, you’ve officially unlocked VIP Client Energy™. 💕

Very demure, very mindful If you want to see me this month you better get those booking forms in. Plan ahead as my dance card for the month is almost full……

Fresh blowout and makeup free, besides the rose Vaseline on my lips 💕 I actually love being lazy and not wearing makeup.

Funny how y’all want to liberate workers but not the ones who have receipts of your embarrassing kinks. The revolution will not be televised because you can’t handle HD exposure of your foot fetish.

Your funeral might be the first time some of your “friends” ever say something nice about you.

There are more laws protecting a corporation’s financial loss than there are protecting a human being’s physical safety.

If serial killers are so “intelligent,” why do they always get caught because of something stupid?

If serial killers are so “intelligent,” why do they always get caught because of something stupid?

The fact that we figured out WiFi before universal healthcare just proves our priorities are straight-up chaos.

The same people who say “guns don’t kill people” also think weed ruins lives.

There’s a nonzero chance your ancestors fought wars and crossed oceans just for you to sit here overthinking a text.

If you’ve ever played the game Operation, congrats—you have technically performed a surgery.

The moment you turn 30, your body just starts making mystery noises for no reason.

If you could hear other people’s thoughts, 90% of them would just be the Jeopardy! theme playing on a loop.

If you could hear other people’s thoughts, 90% of them would just be the Jeopardy! theme playing on a loop.

We all just blindly trust that escalators will keep escalating and not suddenly turn into death slides.

Why do we refer to it as fast food? It’s not faster than me eating something in my own house.

Every pool is a people broth.

If Xander Crews took over Twitter, he’d have done a better job.

The only thing Andrew Tate is ‘top’ at is Googling himself. And even then, he’s losing to Reddit threads roasting him.

The only thing Andrew Tate is ‘top’ at is Googling himself. And even then, he’s losing to Reddit threads roasting him.

Housing market crashing? Stocks plummeting? points to vagina This portfolio is recession-resistant and tax-free.

People complaining about Animal Crossing villagers being annoying have clearly never met their neighbors IRL. I’ll take passive-aggressive penguins over Karen and her leaf blower any day.

Elon Musk is what happens when a tech bro wins the lottery but still can’t buy a personality.

A man will lie about his height on Tinder but act shocked to learn some girls fake moan.
Bro, it's all part of the same game.

People will drop $9 on ‘artisanal kale,’ but paying artists a fair price? Nah, they can just vibe off ‘exposure.’

If it weren’t for sex workers absorbing everyone’s shame and sadness, half of you would explode at Thanksgiving dinner.

The same people fighting to ban OnlyFans think unpaid internships are character-building. Make it make sense.

If you’re asking for a discount, you’ve already disqualified yourself. VERDICT: I’m not your indulgence—I’m your reality check.

More healing happens in one escort session than in ten years of sermons.

‘Protect the sanctity of marriage!’ – says the guy juggling three mistresses and a burner phone.

‘Protect the sanctity of marriage!’ – says the guy juggling three mistresses and a burner phone.

Politicians fight sex work harder than poverty because they don’t actually care about fixing real issues

Sex workers know more about society than politicians ever will, and that’s why they’re feared.