Good morning and happy Monday to everyone. Yesterday's Charlie Kirk thing wasn't a memorial, it was a Christian nationalist white supremacy rally. Meanwhile, the DOJ has quietly deleted a study that shows white supremacy outpaces all extremism. America has fallen.

Good morning and happy Sunday to everyone. If Charlie Kirk didn't want to be remembered as a racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, anti-immigrant fascist, he shouldn't have been a racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, anti-immigrant fascist.

Good morning and happy Sunday to everyone. If Charlie Kirk didn't want to be remembered as a racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, anti-immigrant fascist, he shouldn't have been a racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, anti-immigrant fascist.

Good morning and happy Saturday to everyone. Imagine if they were as tough on pedophiles as they are on comedians.

Good morning and happy Saturday to everyone. Imagine if they were as tough on pedophiles as they are on comedians.

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Good morning and happy Friday to everyone. We’ve all made jokes at Donald Trump's expense. But he is the President, and I am in fact heartbroken to see the way he has been treated. I believe he is, in his heart, a good and decent fellow, devoid of malice and hate. Just kidding, fuckface. Eat shit.

Good morning and happy Thursday to everyone. BREAKING: America I will not go back to the 1950s quietly.

Good morning and happy Thursday to everyone. BREAKING: America I will not go back to the 1950s quietly.

Good morning and happy Wednesday to everyone. That Robert Redford said this tells you everything you need to know. "We’re up against a crisis I never thought I’d see in my lifetime: a dictator-like attack by President Donald Trump on everything this country stands for." But I'm not a snitch.

Good morning and happy Wednesday to everyone. That Robert Redford said this tells you everything you need to know. "We’re up against a crisis I never thought I’d see in my lifetime: a dictator-like attack by President Donald Trump on everything this country stands for." But I'm not a snitch.

Good morning and happy Tuesday to everyone. If you don't like anything we said in reaction to Charlie Kirk's death, just wait until Donald Trump drops dead.

Good morning and happy Tuesday to everyone. If you don't like anything we said in reaction to Charlie Kirk's death, just wait until Donald Trump drops dead.

Good morning and happy Monday to everyone. What kind of whiny bitch shithole president spews hate, sows division and fails the country every single day?

Good morning and happy Monday to everyone. What kind of whiny bitch shithole president spews hate, sows division and fails the country every single day?

Good morning and happy Sunday to everyone. I don't want to get all religious, but fuck Trump. Also, if you're sick of hearing about Charlie Kirk we should be friends.

Good morning and happy Sunday to everyone. I don't want to get all religious, but fuck Trump. Also, if you're sick of hearing about Charlie Kirk we should be friends.

Good morning and happy Saturday to everyone. Civil War has been canceled because the shooter is a straight white Mormon kid from Utah.

Good morning and happy Saturday to everyone. Civil War has been canceled because the shooter is a straight white Mormon kid from Utah.

Good morning and happy Friday to everyone. While he tried to make 9/11 all about him by having a stroke on live TV, it is important to remember that Donald Trump raped children.

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Good morning and happy Friday to everyone. While he tried to make 9/11 all about him by having a stroke on live TV, it is important to remember that Donald Trump raped children.

Good morning and happy Thursday to everyone. Remembering when Loathsome Lie-senhower called a TV station on 9/11 to falsely claim that his building was now the tallest in Manhattan after the towers fell. #NeverForget

Good morning and happy Thursday to everyone. Remembering when Loathsome Lie-senhower called a TV station on 9/11 to falsely claim that his building was now the tallest in Manhattan after the towers fell. #NeverForget

Good morning and happy Wednesday to everyone. SCOTUS is now so blatantly racist that it says it’s unconstitutional to consider race in helping a Latino student get into college, but totally awesome to consider race when throwing their dad into a concentration camp. What a shitshow.

Good morning and happy Wednesday to everyone. SCOTUS is now so blatantly racist that it says it’s unconstitutional to consider race in helping a Latino student get into college, but totally awesome to consider race when throwing their dad into a concentration camp. What a shitshow.

Good morning and happy Tuesday to everyone. Fondling Father drew a pre-teen girl and sent it to his pedophile friend for his birthday. It wasn't a woman. It was a CHILD. Eww.

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Good morning and happy Tuesday to everyone. Fondling Father drew a pre-teen girl and sent it to his pedophile friend for his birthday. It wasn't a woman. It was a CHILD. Eww.

Good morning and happy Monday to everyone. There ought to be a law that prohibits a president from weaponizing the government against its own people. Just saying.

Good morning and happy Monday to everyone. There ought to be a law that prohibits a president from weaponizing the government against its own people. Just saying.

Good morning and happy Sunday to everyone. It's still the Department of Defense. Just like it's still the Gulf of Mexico. Just like the other place is still the Twitter. Just like he’s still in the Epstein files.

Good morning and happy Sunday to everyone. It's still the Department of Defense. Just like it's still the Gulf of Mexico. Just like the other place is still the Twitter. Just like he’s still in the Epstein files.

Good morning and happy Saturday to everyone. Don't lose your shit because they're saying Trump was actually an FBI informant tasked to take down Epstein. Lose your shit because they're saying he HAD to rape 11 year old girls in order to win Epstein’s trust.

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Good morning and happy Saturday to everyone. Don't lose your shit because they're saying Trump was actually an FBI informant tasked to take down Epstein. Lose your shit because they're saying he HAD to rape 11 year old girls in order to win Epstein’s trust.

Good morning and happy Friday to everyone. Is it just me, or does the "I don't think people should take medical advice from me" guy need to be impeached?

Good morning and happy Friday to everyone. Is it just me, or does the "I don't think people should take medical advice from me" guy need to be impeached?

Good morning and happy Thursday to everyone. I don't do colloquialisms very well, but I'll try. McGropey took the skin boat to children's tuna town. Y'all. I'll get my coat.

Good morning and happy Thursday to everyone. I don't do colloquialisms very well, but I'll try. McGropey took the skin boat to children's tuna town. Y'all. I'll get my coat.

Good morning and happy Wednesday to everyone. It’s devastating to watch tens of millions of people wish death upon the president when it should be hundreds of millions.

Good morning and happy Wednesday to everyone. It’s devastating to watch tens of millions of people wish death upon the president when it should be hundreds of millions.

Good morning and happy Tuesday to everyone. Many people are saying that Grab-Ass Grandpa’s announcement from the Oval Office at 2 p.m. today is a distraction from Wednesday’s press conference with 10 of Epstein’s victims. Well, duh. Thank you for your inattention on this matter.

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Good morning and happy Tuesday to everyone. Many people are saying that Grab-Ass Grandpa’s announcement from the Oval Office at 2 p.m. today is a distraction from Wednesday’s press conference with 10 of Epstein’s victims. Well, duh. Thank you for your inattention on this matter.

Good morning and happy Labor Day to everyone. When is it ok to wish ill on someone? The short answer is: never. And the long answer is: Really. Never. Anyway, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani was seriously injured in a car crash in New Hampshire over the weekend. 👀

Good morning and happy Labor Day to everyone. When is it ok to wish ill on someone? The short answer is: never. And the long answer is: Really. Never. Anyway, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani was seriously injured in a car crash in New Hampshire over the weekend. 👀

Good morning and happy Sunday to everyone. So sorry to ruin your Labor Day weekend, but Pumpkin Spiced Stalin has been found alive once again.

Good morning and happy Sunday to everyone. So sorry to ruin your Labor Day weekend, but Pumpkin Spiced Stalin has been found alive once again.

Good morning and happy Saturday to everyone. What kind of punk ass bitch revokes the Secret Service security detail for Kamala Harris? One that’s petty, small, pathetic, vengeful, and on the Epstein list, that’s who.