Soooo Los Angeles/California....who the fuck are we voting for 😭

I need to take a bereavement day. The hours I spent here, the gallons of coffee and pea soup I consumed, the pages and pages of books I read at the counter. THE SIGNED PHOTO OF ALF ON THE WALL. 😫

Yeah I'm at the club* *reading subreddits about back pain

Being a patient zero would be so embarrassing

You know when you forget a hair tie and go about your day feeling like one of those dogs in a hoarder house that gets rescued and they have to cut off 30 pounds of their fur just so they can walk and see again?

I saw the best indie musicians of my generation destroyed by LiveNation, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the tech jobs at LinkedIn looking for an angry fix

My phone autocorrected "soul mate" to "soup mate" and actually, I'd rather have one of those

Being a parent has made me so wonderfully delusional. I just had the earnest thought "Ooh maybe I should pitch a gallery show of a series of photos of my son sleeping on his tummy with his tiny tush up in the air!"

You ever just can't remember shit?

Forever missing Prince 💜☔️ Here's a piece I wrote a couple of years ago about the time I got to work with him. www.pastemagazine.com/music/prince...

Had a dream I was frying capers with PJ Harvey

Can't stop, won't stop listening

Trent Reznor, still a genius!

If you were the disposable camera that I brought to Japan, waited to develop, then packed and stored somewhere "I won't forget" 1.5 years ago when I moved cross country...where would you be

Just learned my baby's nanny used to be Johnny Ramone's housekeeper

Our pal @squeakypig.bsky.social is making another indie film! "A man finds himself in a life-or-death, cat-and-mouse game with his new stepdaughter after she reveals she was responsible for a gruesomely brutal act." Support him here: www.indiegogo.com/en/projects/...

Since she's not on social media: Hurley Winkler is doing a monthlong writing residency in a photo booth for the month of April! Goddamn do I love her brain. As always, she has the coolest ideas AND execution. Support and follow her progress here: hurleywinkler.gumroad.com/l/photobooth

The first thing I've written since I had a baby! Thank you @havehashad.com and @ezhang77.bsky.social!!! www.havehashad.com/hadposts/30-...

TFW "Farewell Transmission" comes on the playlist unexpectedly and derails your entire day

I am pre-crying about how excited I will be to celebrate this awesome book with these wonderful people!

Me: "I'm not posting my baby's face or name on social media." Also me: "Dear Gerber, here's why my son should win your photo contest"

I had a dream that David Lynch's ghost was rowing me in a canoe to where he kept his secret treasures. They were all in a house inside of a tree, like the Keebler elves', and he had a bunch of manuscripts and trinkets and cool rocks and sticks. He lamented the price of propane for his lanterns.

Things I can't wait to read/watch but have been told not to at almost 5 months postpartum (also I obviously don't have time): Things in Nature Merely Grow by Yiyun Li If I Had Legs I'd Kick You Hamnet

I scheduled my day and my baby's day around submitting to @havehashad.com and I got a skull!!!! Thank you @ezhang77.bsky.social for the dope theme that gave me an idea and then for accepting my piece!

Almost accidentally sent a PDF of my book to my son's doctor instead of his insurance card

"The spinal cord of JFK Wrapped in Marilyn Monroe’s negligee I give to you" - "Palaces of Montezuma" by Grinderman (the whole song, really)

Crying as I leave a comment on Chris Paul's retirement post

🎶 ooh heaven is a place on Earth 🎶 salami baguette sandwich and coffee from Proof Bakery and the latest @autofocusbooks.bsky.social book from @aaronburch.bsky.social

Lactating! At the Super Bowl party.

Good news, my friends and I have decided we don't accept Catherine O'Hara's death, so in our circle she remains alive! Anyone is welcome to join us in this reality.

LA post: Marc Maron smiled at my baby

Had a nightmare I was in a Waymo

Keeping my eye on the donut, not the hole ❤️

Someone please end the tyranny of house ketchup in restaurants

If you are a resident of California, the state now has a portal where you can demand deletion of your personal data from 500+ registered data brokers with a single request form, for free. consumer.drop.privacy.ca.gov

My physical therapist told me “you’ve been through a metamorphosis” so now every time I’m on her table I pretend to be a cockroach on its back. She loves it.

Not gonna miss Brigitte Bardot's racist, homophobic, fascist ass. Byeeeee!

2-3 times a week while I’m nursing the baby in the middle of the night, I hear a pack of coyotes absolutely decimating something outside.

Once again crying at photos of my baby while he's in the other room napping.

I've been making my own cold brew* since the baby was born *Making one pot of coffee I just drink from for a week because I have neither time nor available hands to set up the coffee pot

LA post: my parents are visiting, we walked by a Kristen Stewart photo shoot, the security guard clocked my baby in his stroller and was charmed by him (obvs), and jokingly offered to get him his first modeling gig. My parents were on cloud nine and think it was a serious offer.

Drag name: Ben Wa Blanc

Rob & Michele Reiner, my god. I worked with him and he was wonderful. I helped his daughter with something tiny/inconsequential, and every time I said goodbye to him after that he said “I love you, honey” to me. He was so approachable & warm, just a lovely person. Devastating.

LA tweet: a taco truck broke down in front of my house

In further "shows I'm watching while I nurse the baby" reviews, Palm Royale is equal parts very fun and truly awful, but Kristen Wiig is excellent in it, and the wardrobe/hair/makeup/set decoration is to die for. Has anyone else watched this lol

My neighborhood just got its first sit-down restaurant ever! The owners seem great, the community is thrilled! ...but the happy hour price for a cheeseburger is 18 fucking dollars.

The old American rite of passage: negotiating my son's NICU hospital bill.

Is sending a birth announcement to my OBGYN redundant?

My publisher @dtrobbins.bsky.social @rejectionlit.bsky.social got my book into the UC Berkeley library, my dad's alma mater, and my family group text is losing its absolute shit. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Whenever I wear a plaid button down shirt, my boyfriend pretends to order an IPA from me.