Big Abscess Energy

Had my cat scan. Not sure if they found any yet.

Doctor ordered a cat scan. They're gonna find me out :3

*head in hands* should have asked my doctor for pictures of my bones

Me when it's x-ray time

Do you even believe in life after love?

Just had a bowl of cereal #blessed

Participating in my favorite winter activity, which I like to call Needing To Be On Alert All Day Every Day In Case The Snow Plow Comes.

It's wild how much Rocky and Bullwinkle content on ao3 contains neither Rocky nor Bullwinkle.

It's wild how much networking advice comes down to "Confidently speak out of your ass to strangers."

Your "Gen" is Z-List! *farts really loudly* #GenX #90sKid

hashtag headache

"I don't need any more dad shirts"

Had a dream that Bernie Sanders called me autistic.

Sometimes the curtains are just blue. And sometimes they're purple. And sometimes they're yellow. And sometimes they're red. And sometimes they're white. And sometimes they're green. And sometimes they're pink. And sometimes they're black. And sometimes they're gray. And sometimes they're brown. An

When I eventually die and become a scary ghost, I probably won't miss shitting very much.

i have now finally watched all of the twilight films and one of my favorite things about them is they always talk up these big epic battles they must prepare for that end up being like snowball fights in a field

Instead of a No Fly List, they should have a Please Fly List for people the airplanes might want to be friends with (like @withicecream.bsky.social).

"Grandma got run over by a reindeer!" Okay? Like, grandmas literally die all the time. Can you maybe just get over it rather than forcing me to do all of your emotional labor for you?

Streaming service for furry porn call that Knotflix

Hey, have you seen the new guy? Yeah, his nose is bright red. Shiny, too. Let's kick his ass.

"I asked ChatGPT to-" Okay? Well I just farted and it smells really bad.

Not to gas myself up, but I just rewatched Sly Cooper AMV (Born Too Late by The Poni-Tails), and I think I might be the most iconic Sly simp to ever exist so far.

Because they learned in previous classes that it's where they will get the most points taken off.

Never understand why students are so averse to simplifying their work as they go. It will make your life so much easier I promise.

Not to be a killjoy but if you're an instructor who regularly laughs loudly at things your students fuck up, you might be kind of an asshole.

If you are taking a math exam, please know that writing nothing is much less suspicious than writing the correct answer with no justification. It will also get you the exact same number of points.

happy weiner wednesday #ilovemen

My pronouns are I/love/you.

Love trying to read math papers that are ostensibly about quivers but do not contain a single image of a quiver.

I love Snoopy as much as the next guy, but there's no way that dog's a beagle.

The breakfast place near me that used to open at 5:30 now opens at 7, which is a decision I completely understand. But also.. man...

These hips don't lie, and the truth they're telling is Ouch.

The guys from La Bionda had a similar thing to what Rhett and Link have going on.

I'm thankful for my children.

I'm thankful for yaoi.

I'm thankful for cats. All of them.

I'm thankful for fun.

I'm thankful for Sly Cooper's hot ass.

I'm thankful for the Tequila meme.

Sometimes I feel like a TikZ picture missing a semicolon.

I think the impulse to be kind is beautiful and valuable. At the same time, if you're driving please just use your right-of-way.

Bro you need to forgive yourself even when you don't feel like you deserve it. It's the only way bro.

Why does every AI assistant ad go like "Hey Bubby, I just had some poopoo come out of my ass. Is this normal?" "Yes. It is a natural phenomenon many living things experience called shidding :)"

Proctoring this exam and yearning for my comfortable bed and the raccoon that loves me.

Hate when cult music goes hard

Literally just allowed a student to make up a quiz because they started the email with "Goof afternoon"

All-in-all it was All just piss in my balls