'It's like the MAGA version of KFC's 11 secret herbs and spices,' a White House spokesman said. 'You don't want our war recipe out there for just anyone to follow.'

Coming up to the 20th anniversary of victims being silenced so Epstein could cop to an 'I didn't know she was only 17' charge, get a sweetheart deal and reoffend for 10+ years. Everyone in Epstein files post-2006 was breaking bread & making dough with this monster. It's why the world now burns.

After the US attacked twice during diplomatic negotiations, including killing the Supreme Leader, will Iran now take the chance to offer Vance a personal and reciprocal thank you in Islamabad?

I, too, have created an artificial superintelligence too powerful to be publicly released – and I won't because I'm a good-faith player and we're teasing an IPO! But if you'd like to hit 100 targets in 10 minutes in Lebanon, come see me later, I may be able to help you out.

Tucker says Trump is the Antichrist. Thiel is hunting the Antichrist. Vance serves both. Why can't JD find his true master by MC-ing an Antichrist vs anti-Antichrist cage fight on the White House lawn on 4 July? Event could feat. Hunter Biden vs Don Jr and Eric, and Kid Rock vs Apache helicopter.

Was that really Peter Thiel in the Easter Bunny outfit on the balcony?

Bet my remaining Trumpcoin at Polymarket on DJT posting his Melania snuff video *after* Amanda Ungaro's story drops but *before* he orders a tactical nuclear strike on Iran. Same bet over at Kalshi, using Melaniacoin reserves, difference being Trump kills her/orders strike wearing Easter Bunny suit.

Was the 'ceasefire' just to prop up the market for one last pump 'n' dump? Is Vance gonna frag it because Iran didn't say 'thank you'? Will Trump renew his nuclear war threat after Wall St. closes on Friday? Can Amanda Ungaro spill on Epstein before a tactical nuke? Find out in today's brand new ep!

How long until Trump's logorrhea implodes? 'FIFA & NATO – grab that Strait by the Pussy! Cherish it! Like King Charles, strongly Nobel! My General Jesus, big god, he asked me, tears in his Irans, 'Sir, stone age bombing?' I said 'Groceries!' Like the ballroom hoax! Mutilize for your attention, JDT!

As PM, I urge Allstrayans to drive all across our great nation to get the best price on those shit-tasting mini Easter eggs, but please save fuel for them that need it most! Shout-out my voter-homies: tradies, nurses, miners. Also: bank + fossil fuel CEOs + techbros feat. special guest Dario Amodei!

It's totally un-Australian to hoard petrol! Hoarding investment properties during a housing and cost-of-living crisis? Totes magotes Aussie!

If America quits its war on Iran, the world kicks the can down the road – corrupt, militaristic, extremist, terror-exporting, protest-crushing, minority-supported theocratic regimes will remain in place. And, in addition to Trump and Netanyahu, something will still need to be done about Khomeini.

The 'Christian' Trump(et) 'Truthing' AI-graven images of himself as God while unleashing 'hell' in the Middle East, as his VP drones about demons and pens a book on his 'Catholicism' – which he came to via Antichrist-catcher Peter Thiel, who made JD's tech-pol career? Paging Robert Anton Wilson! 1/3

Nothing says respect like replacing the torch - which is the 'liberty' bit, symbolising the light of freedom guiding the world – with... a bug zapper? So, Kid has a fuckable scale lady next to his ooze pool, with the world's most depressed pot plant as his captive audience. #kidrock #hegseth #usarmy

Trump-lite anecdotes! But where are the tears in the eyes?They're the best bit of the lie! And this after trying to buy defence stocks without cutting the boss in on the grift? With fails like these, Pete's on his way to being a real Noemwhere Man. #hegseth #trump #iran

Happy b'day to #Walken. His most haunting role? Johnny Smith in The Dead Zone. Ah, if only a wannabe nuclear madman president, encouraged and insulated by ghouls, glad-handed and funded by fools, *could* be shamed into self-deletion by media evidence he'd sacrifice the innocent to protect himself.

JD Vance: "I knew that the Antichrist—or at least, the Antichrists’s spiritual adviser—would be a Catholic. Or, at the time, I would have said, “is” a Catholic—as I felt pretty confident that the Antichrist walked among us." thelampmagazine.com/blog/how-i-j...

So his bit about UFOs being demons earlier this week was just publicity for his new book. The chapter on how he at first shied away from the faith because he knew a Catholic would be the Antichrist's helper should sit well with chapters on Peter Thiel shaping his career and religious conversion.

Okay, if the Totenkopf, misogyny, working class cosplay and Iraq war bloodlust wasn't disqualifying enough, surely there's no coming back from this? @nytpitchbot.bsky.social

The *loser* account that ripped off the mighty StrewthSocial has for the first time ever posted an actual truth.

Question for President Trump re his suggestion countries like the UK just go to the Strait of Hormuz and fill up: does this also apply to individuals? My 2008 Honda Jazz is running on empty. Also: do the Iranians offer 6 cents a litre discount if I present my Everyday Rewards card? #auspol #iran

If Kharg Island is invaded, Iran blitzes the Gulf's infrastructure, the Houthis block the Gate of Tears, the AI bubble detonates the stock market, fertiliser shortages cause world famine and Trump proclaims he's God, how sure can we *really* be of getting all episodes of Your Friends and Neighbors?

Do you reckon the Apache pilot – flying that $35m chopper with its M230 autocannon - had a "call of the void" moment and wondered – just for a second – what sweet music might be made with a trigger burst of 30mm ammo to light up Kid Rock?

Setting the time machine for a simpler and saner era, when the American president was an upstanding fellow who'd act out of humanitarian concern to announce he was sending a dry-docked naval hospital ship to relieve an imaginary medical emergency in Greenland.

Johnny’s in the basement mixing up the algorithm I’m at the data centre Enslaved for the governing Altman in the T-shirt Model out, laid off Says he’s got new funding Revenue model won’t ever pay off Look out bot Human it’s not God know why But I’m floggin’ AI #bobdylan #AI