I am at a Labubu party, which is kind of a night club, but in the day, for 10 year olds. It is basically the same as every night club ever, including bouncers on the door, the music, and someone wailing "but I fuckin' love the bastard" in the queue for the ladies.

Why are my social media feeds full of Kula Shaker, and how do I make it stop?

3 DAYS TO GO until the official release of our latest YA sci-fi novel, The Boy From Elsewhere by Kestral Gaian. Pre-order your copy now: reconnectingrainbows.co.uk/book/tbfe/

I want my daughter to experience the joy of discovering The Smiths, partially because it took me so long to, but of course she can't. Fuck you Morrissey.

@soozuk.bsky.social Long Distance, Bit Weird is fabulous. You probably already knew that. Would it be stealing your IP to pitch a show where a totally ordinary person takes A listers to a Spoons? Ford Harrison in The George in Croydon etc.

Abcfedhjouktggnoofetunbfry

Mmmm, cheap London hotel roulette time again. The place before last had a dead crow in the communal shower, and the power was an extension socket that came in through a window.

I'm fine if you do Andy, in fact I'm kind of crossing my fingers, tapping together my red heels and wishing.

Should I be pleased or excited about Andy Burnham, or is it time to just give up believing in Labour entirely?

Albums that don't have a duff track on them. (Yes, including greatest hits, because a) The Buzzcocks, b) Queen, c) The Cure) 1- Jagged Little Pill

It is time for some malicious compliance.

Could we let him have Croydon, and tell him it's Greenland?

Who do you reckon is the one person the UK is sending to Greenland?

It's funny that when someone posts something on old person social media and it's inaccurate, everyone rushes to say it's AI. Humans are still capable of nonsense without technology guys!

I am deliberately mishearing "storm goretti" as "storm peretti"

Going through York. I really would like some chips.

Edinburgh Waverly is working hard to rival Euston then. "Oh, it's on platform 7. When they are late we don't always announce the platforms, in case people rush".

Happy "an extra 130 miles on your journey" day to all who celebrate.

Instagram should be better. I always imagined it to be a platform that only allowed images, no words, no video, no slop. Like if John Berger designed social media.

Archers Cluedo anyone?

WhatsApp needs a "schedule send" option, so I can go to bed at 9, and get it to send "Happy New Year" at midnight

Why does this look like a copy of "Take a Break!". The absence of a party name on the front is a bit of a tell.

Spotify wrapped should show you how much the artists get paid.

I may not have been paying attention, but I think I just read that Quentin Tarantino's next project is a biopic of Paul Daniels, and I'm here for it.

What is the closest to a perfect pop song written in the 21st century, and why is it "Your Love Alone is not enough" by the Manic Street Preachers?

Why do so many of the characters in Dead Ringers appear to be Josh Widdexombe?

Ah, 40 years to the day since my Dad greeted me on the doorstep with "Quick, up to the attic, I've told everyone I am in Japan for Christmas"

One day I will tell why you should never drink any orange flavoured drink made be a popular beverage company.

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I wonder what this will mean for whoever wrote David Walliams' books

I have just remembered "Scotsmac" which I imagine is now deemed a WMD.

I know comments about looks are unkind and cheap whatever the circumstances, and I know there are important discussions to be had, but Graham Linehan looks more like a pre Dr Who reboot Sontaran every day.

Oh, hang on, I've found an episode of the Professionals I haven't seen

"when the Vicar enlists Terry to assemble a ping pong table, things get sticky". Jesus, the 80's were awful

The Bergerac theme tune could have been a banger.

Saw a bloke on the train being sick into a "best dad in the world" wooly hat, which presumably means I'm not even up to his standard.

It's always DNS

6, 7

I've just been told by my 9 year old that I should try and develop a growth mindset. How's your day going?

Breaking Showbiz News: Netflix admit "we bought the wrong franchise" after filming Bond regeneration scenes.

How many crunchies is it normal to eat each day?

I'm seeing a very pro-inxs agenda in the media recently.

At last, we have moved on to a bedtime book for my 9 year old that I have been looking forward to for a long time. Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.

It's always DNS