Bulgarian split squats were invented as a torture method and nothing you can say will change my mind

If you've never stood naked in your kitchen, ravaging a Costco rotisserie chicken bare fisted like a caveman, then I don't know what to tell you, but you're missing out.

Things that make you go hmm.

Shoutout to the friends that ain't into the stuff I post here, but still stick around because we pals. ❤️

Ok google, can cum ferment into booze

Pufferfish cum inflation, send tweet

Fr fr on God No CAP Have fun, friends.

My new neighbor looks a little scruffy

The world needs another Unreal Tournament game.

Man the latest Kitchen Nightmares episode is off the rails! #abdl

Sitting here having a small ice cream to stave off the PCD, and out of the corner of my eye, I notice a guy watching me. Every time I looked up, he'd look at me. After the third or fourth time, I turned to make full eye contact. It was a mirror. 🙃

I have such mixed emotions today. I'm happy, I'm sad. I had an amazing time, and I miss my friends. But also, an entire week of nonstop party was too much. I want to sleep in my own bed. I'm still coming back next year. Hotel already booked. 😎

PCD setting in while still at the con is a new experience. Fuck.

Great, I'm going to be judged by the cuck council

Ow

Denmark has the long toilet paper

Pants successfully peed in Denmark. Add a pin to the map.

Straight up just deleted Valentine's Day from my calendar and time warped into Sunday. It's now the middle of the day and I'm in Denmark.

Come at me, TSA

Packed. Ready. Slightly anxious. Tomorrow gonna be a long day.

Sports friends: Help. Give me lines to say during this Superbowl party that mask the fact I know nothing about football.

Had a blood draw this morning and very nearly passed out. That was a first.

NFC is happening soon. Who's going? 👀

Feed and breed your friends

If people are making serious posts about serious situations, and you're in the replies somehow making it about diapers/kinks, you need to fucking stop. Seriously. Fucking stop.

You think you're strong until you try to go heavy on an overhead press. Sheesh.

When you're getting your hair cut by an old man, and as he leans in, you feel his balls on your arm... 🙃

i pissed my pants so hard, my socks got wet

I leaked during my virtual class reunion

2019 was 7 years ago

Soooo, I'm repping 205 on flat bench now.

Been wanting to make this account for years but was kinda scared. Here we go I guess…

LMFAO NO

I see a lot of new, nervous faces in the gym this week. Don't be afraid - we're happy to see you here. Keep going!

Caught my apprentice playing big-titty anime girl dating games on his phone at work today. Smh

How a pro packages used pamps:

Last night, I ended up in VR while completely naked. Don't ask. I found that the cable from the valve index rested perfectly between my buttcheeks, and I was able to tug on my headset and pull it down hands-free. Enjoy that mental image.

Reposting because relevant

Walking into a gym and thinking, "Wow, the average person is so much stronger than me" has the same energy as walking into a hospital and thinking that everyone but you is a doctor.

I thought working out a lot would get rid of my side-boob, but now my lats are fkn huge. >:/

CW: Messy / Messing How to effectively use your overnight diaper, part 2.

Failed a new deadlift PR because I almost pooped myself.

10-1 Playing beer pong last night. And who beat me? One of the only other badgers in a 100 mile radius. And a honey badger, no less. One that cooks. Grrrrrrrr...

Made a lot of progress this year, but most importantly, built good habits and have been sticking to them.

Lmao I can just scroll diapers on my car

Someone mixed chocolate raisins into the chocolate espresso beans in the winco bulk food bins, and I'm gonna SCREAM

It's an alright look on him

Mom: "Well, Derick (step-dad) is trying to build a recess for an 85" TV so he can watch football from the kitchen." Me: "Do not fuck this up. Let him."

This is on another level.