Another sighting of the Loch Ness dog

My own petard is actually the most easily accessible way to hoist myself so maybe I meant to do that

The wiggles piloting a big red gundam

All timer of an episode

Music streaming means a lot of people don't really listen to albums so young incels can't even ask girls to name three albums anymore

Due to inflation it now takes 322 luft balloons to accidentally trigger a nuclear war...

My coworkers do this fascinating thing where I greet them by saying "howdy howdy" and they reply "good, thanks"

just remembered i needed to upload the funniest moment of halo show season 2. what even was that read lmaaaooooo

Donald Duck could channel the Satsui no Hado

Any burrito is a breakfast burrito if you simply eat it for breakfast

Walked past a woman speaking french on the phone and the only thing I caught her say was "une micropénis"

Normal and obvious way to open a box

Since the year is officially over, I am publishing my 2025 new years resolution to count every time I sneezed in the year. The total count was 729 with an average of 1.997 sneezes per day

Saf returning to our voice call: "Okay i'm gonna MEOW" @wanderlustin.bsky.social

When Bing Crosby told you "don't mess with Mr Inbetween" it was actually just cause Mr Inbetween is a short tempered asshole and we all hate him

I didn't realise you could just download a new one of those...

When you die you get given a count of how many parenthesis you forgot to close in your life

It's not gay if it happens during a quantum leap

The plot of Yesterday but instead of trying to remake the beatles its about a guy trying to remake all of homestar runner

Just saw a bird eating a worm and I'm like "Yooo I remember that guy from kindy"

The high has worn off. I need someone to kill another right wing asshole

Inventing a toilet seat made out of sodium so when dudes piss on they seat they explode and die

Measure twice, nut once

Listening to two kids have a conversation where they're just... Listing passwords they know to each other... "Yeah my mum's ipad it's XXXX but her _phone_ is XXXX"

Sitting on my hand so it feels like someone else is tooting my horn

One of my coworkers sent an email where he wrote my name "Ethna Macquary" which not only manages to make every single common mistake in spelling my surname, but also fucked up my very simple first name

Uma musume but to the tune of oma rapeti

I, too, worship this

Vampirism as a metaphor for being hungry and vaguely pissed off

Third day at new job. Politely attending someone's farewell. Not actually knowing who is who and sitting awkwardly close to center of attention

One of my neighbours is baking cookies and they smell so good....

I feel like this maybe wasn't the intended way to do this...

*eating in a cafe* Woman: "Excuse me sir, are you the one who paid for my breakfast last week?" Me: "No" Woman: "Oh sorry, you look like him and I wanted to repay the favour"

A spider that's way too into anime. Call that charlotte's weeb

Baked banana bread and then proceeded to give myself a tummy ache by eating too much banana bread. Many such a case as this

Can I come to your house and stand like this?

So do we think Eddie McDowd is still stuck as a dog or what?

I have been taken hostage

I think if my catchy theme song described me as "cool but rude" I would reassess how I behave

Group of coworkers walking into lunchroom while I'm in the middle of the sentence "people enjoy looking at pornography"

How I feel any time I mention my "I would get severed" hottake

Managed to lock myself out of my apartment and had to walk across the city in the rain in my trackies to pick up the spare key from the property manager office 🤦‍♂️

Yeah, you could probably handle my potions, they’re not very strong.

Me on a friday

Me: "Oh yeah I used to work with her" Coworker: "Oh she's a good fr... She's a fri... I know her" Me: "Damn that relationship got downgraded twice in a single sentence"

Randomly remembered a crappy old anime from when I was a kid. Turns out the English dub only ever aired in NZ and is mostly lost media? Wild m.youtube.com/watch?v=lsMU...

Took apart my mouse to clean all the pieces because I felt like confronting the fact that all human beings are piles of filth that leave gunk everywhere