STEVE HOLT!

How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?

I deceived you, mom. "Tricked" makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.

¡Soy loco por los Cornballs!

You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone.

I buy all my cars at police auction

Lindsay: You haven’t had a serious relationship since your wife, and you guys weren't even speaking towards the end. Michael: A lot of that was the coma.

You know, say what you will about America... thirteen bucks still gets you a hell of a lot of mice.

Best video I’ve seen this year youtu.be/wlZE5JaD4kU?... #ChickensDontClap

Great. So now we don't have a car or a jet? Why don't we just take an ad out in I'm Poor Magazine?

Happy New Year

What's this, a stuffy office meeting? Well. Maybe it's time for a little... office magic?

Ah, there's the woman I'm sexually attracted to!

Oscar: Well, sure, the question is, which way do I try to get it in her? Michael: I don't need any details. Oscar: Maybe I'll put it in her brownie. Michael: Hey!

Michael: GOB, you've found a woman who believes in you. You should make a commitment to her because life is short. Listen to me. I would give anything to be able to have that again, you know? A family. Nothing else matters. Lucille: Michael? Michael: It's Mom. Hide.

just hear me out

The tears aren’t coming youtu.be/FK_9bBzRNZo?...

Lucille: Oh, please. I've been drinking since before you were born. So if alcohol's the reason I'm here, I got news for you, bub, it's the only reason you're here, too. Michael: Hey, you're mean sober, too.

Barry: So, basically, you're about 2,000 shares short of being the majority stockholders. Now, unfortunately, it's a private stock, so you cannot just buy up the shares unless someone is willing to sell. Michael: Are you sure? Barry: That's what they said on "Ask Jeeves."

We need a name. Maybe Operation Hot Mother. No, let's try to top that. They never did, and later, Operation Hot Mother was underway.

📷 1: Christopher Anderson

Say what you will about America, 13 bucks still gets you a hell of a lot of mice.

How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA?

What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something?

Sometimes life is about making difficult sandwiches.

Who has made this 🤣

GOB: Ah! Good to see you, old friend. What have you been up to? Tobias: Oh, uh, things are good, nothing much. I'm a registered sex offender, but things are good. GOB: Yes, yes.

I did a dumb tiktok thing awhile back

GOB: Let me ask you something. Is this a business decision, or is it personal? 'Cause if it's business I'll go away happily. But if it's personal, I'll go away... but I won't be happy. Michael: It's personal.

The speech was disturbing, food inedible and the gift bags pretty frightening. And when GOB realized he wouldn't get tipped the service got a little worse. Oh, and then that old racist woman choked on Buster's thumb. All in all, it was one of the Bluth's better dinner parties.

"Do you have any idea how often you say the word afraid?" "Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi."

"I will not take this sacred duty lightly. I am going to get you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen." "This is why I'm calling it a Witness and not a Best Man. Look all you have to do is watch." "Oh I'm not going to spend this kind of money and not watch."

I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts.

I have Pop Pop in the attic

logging on

Her?

We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook.

Wow, this is the best scrapbooking class I’ve ever taken!

I fucked up the lyrics bc I’ve never seen Gypsy hahaha But I just learned this fun fact:

Secretary Tobias Fünke

Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of inter-office (BLEEP!)ing, or (BLEEP!)ing, or finger(BLEEP!)ing, or (BLEEP!)sting, or (BLEEP!)esting, or (BLEEP!)eing, or even (BLEEP!), even though so many people in this office are begging for it.