You seem more villainous than usual, Mom. Are you sober?

This is Lily. She’s been accused of drinking her mom’s slushie. Will not be taking any questions at this time. 14/10 (IG: iceedoglilly)

Gob: Hey, can you do me a favor? A young neighborhood tough by the name of Steve Holt will be dropping by, and... Michael: Your son? Gob: According to him. Michael: And a DNA test. Gob: I heard the jury's still out on science.

Wow, this is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken!

Keep fighting little guy

Barry will be crushed piunikaweb.com/2026/05/02/a...

I know you're the big marriage expert - oh, I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead!

Michael: What do you think about Sudden Valley? George Michael: It sounds like a salad dressing, but for some reason I don't want to eat it.

What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose?

A father can tell. It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face.

See, I heard it as "almost definitely" too. @johnlevenstein.bsky.social?

“most definitely”

GOB: Let me ask you something. Is this a business decision, or is it personal? 'Cause if it's business I'll go away happily. But if it's personal, I'll go away... but I won't be happy. Michael: It's personal.

You burn down the storage unit?

I don’t know who that is and I don’t care to find out.

… and that’s why you don’t yell.

I may have committed some light treason.

When I miss your lips, I'll put a fig in my mouth and think of you.

I'd have to get up pretty early to get drunk by 1 o'clock.

He may be suffering from what we in the soft-sciences call Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or the The OC Disorder.

The mere fact that you call making love "pop pop" tells me you're not ready.

I didn’t take “wasn’t optimistic it could be done” for an answer

Steve Holt!!!

These are my awards. From Army.

Fun fact from Liza Minnelli’s memoir: as a teen she babysat a young Ron Howard, who decades later would cast her as Lucille 2 in Arrested Development ✨

You gotta lock that down

Seen at www.facebook.com/share/p/1GqC....

Great, now I'm gonna smell to high heaven like a tuna melt!

Lucille: Look what the homosexuals have done to me! Michael: You can't just comb that out and reset it?

Those are balls.

Michael: Well, it's not like you made a commitment to her or anything. Buster: No, not a commitment... but I did refer to it as "our nausea"... but that was when we were going at it pretty hot and heavy. Michael: Well, now it's my nausea.

Michael: What'd he say? George Michael: Well, if I clean it up it's not really a sentence.

I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with 'Fuck Mountain'.

They cannot arrest a husband and wife for the same crime.

OH MY GOD THEY ACTUALLY DID THE THING!!

Michael: We have a private eye, huh? Lucille: Oh, I hired him a hundred years ago to find out if your father was cheating on me. He never did find anything. Michael: Well, he can't be very good then.

What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something?

Lucille: Well, apparently, mood-altering medication leads to street drugs. That's what this very handsome, young doctor said on The Today Show. Michael: That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist...

Europeans when being asked to unblock the strait of Hormuz

How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?

Congratulations to San Francisco for inventing the long-prophesied banana that costs ten dollars sfstandard.com/2026/03/11/g...