Starting new medication is of the devil!!! The worst of the worst!!!

Pals are giving me so much shit because I said I fucking hate golden doodles lmao I’m genuinely as correct as a human being can be on a subject I WILL NOT BE SHAMED

In that part of a recession where I painfully yearn and ache for 2016 LMAO the music, the lack of much responsibility, the chain smoking and partying, its GROSSLY corny but I miss being a dumbass 18/19 year old who kinda just did whatever I wanted and didn’t work and hurt 24/7

I don’t rly have anyone to tell that’ll care but I got a new therapist who’s fucking awesome and I’m really excited. There’s a small shimmer of hope on the horizon for the first time in so long

Doesn’t exactly bolster your mental health to consistently and repeatedly learn just how much higher you value your relationships with people than they do with you. It stings just as much each time but it surprises you less and less I guess

It doesn’t matter what you think about your artistic skill level, style, or reach. Because it ISN’T ai, it’s beautiful and revolutionary and you must keep making it

Listen you’ll catch me dead being a corporate simp for Apple, I’m just saying I’m WILDLY impressed by the fact that I’ve washed and dried my AirPods on accident TWICE since I first got them and THOSE FUCKERS STILL WORK PERFECTLY LMAO

Val wanted a pumpkin pie, I wanted tres leches cupcakes …so I made both lmao and I fucking popped off for both of em

Kinda fuck with they/it pronouns idk, we’re surrounded on all sides by blood thirsty N*zis and I’ll never own a home who cares anymore lmao

A woman x enby sapphic relationship usually means the woman will end up sending her enby art of a beautiful woman and some sorta varmint with the caption “us 🥰”

“You laugh like you’re scheming something” is a crazy thing to hear about yourself

Fully sobbing at a disproportionate level to a video of an old farmer mourning a baby bunny he tried and failed to save, then getting cramps in the middle of crying like AH there it is lmao No but it really was a profound moment of grief for a tiny sweet life, I can’t think about it w/o tearing up

Big fan of the way ducks eat

I want a doggie so bad :( we cannot afford the space for a dog even a small one :( :(

We bought a couch and I’m just proud of my big boy purchase, it’s a lovely emerald green sectional and I have not shut the fuck up about how excited I am for it to arrive lol

During normal times I gaslight myself about the severity of my endometriosis and PCOS symptoms like “I think I’ve been lying to everyone :) I experience normal amounts of pain and I’m just a whiny baby :) I am weak :):):)” then when the cramps hit I’m basically writhing on the floor screaming like

I would politely like to top the lead singer of The Home Team LMAO bro doesn’t give bottom vibes whatsoever but I bet I could change him

I will always love Arctic Monkey’s AM and you insecure fucks can call me basic all you want because I don’t have any shame in experiencing joy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What kind of brain eating amoeba makes a person name their child after their ex or their partner’s ex

Hydrocodone is the worst for my particular pain issues bc what do you mean it didn’t even stop my pain all the way, and now I have a headache???

Bro’s so fucking hidden rn

The sentiment that labubus are a stupid trend that will swiftly be discarded when no longer topical is a shining example of how over consumption and consumerism is brought up the most when it comes to women’s interests thank you bye 🫶🏻

Very annoying and expensive to have to buy all new skincare products for a work trip so your wife isn’t left without, but it is SO exciting to test new skincare products & see great results from them 😩

“They need to teach media literacy in school” -person who did not show up to English class, the place where media literacy and analysis is taught

I find a lot of creative fulfillment out of making agitprop ngl

Maybe I’m just in a really intense depressive episode & it’s clouding my perspective but I just want friends that are proud to be my friends

One thing about my wife and I, is we will arrange ourselves a BEAUTIFUL charcuterie board that could comfortably feed 4 people, take zero photos of it, and demolish it in 15 minutes tops

I elect to not associate with any more men than I have to because not one of em loves themselves enough to keep themselves healthy or even alive regardless of who it fucks up lol

Told my friend that when we were kids staying with my dad on weekends we had to dig through our apartments dumpster for food a handful of times and she went “one time my dad made spaghetti two days in a row”

I can’t look at possums for too long or I might start crying It’s their little emo fingerless gloves that get me 🥲

“Bottom for the family, kneel for the cross”

I legitimately don’t think a human being can get much more beautiful than SZA Humanity has peaked in beauty metrics it’s all downhill from here

I want to be taken seriously as a human being but alas, I have this round wholesome face that deceives one into believing I’m not a complete bitch

Val’s been showing me The Last of Us before we watch the show because I never played the games, and we got to 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 in part two

Chugged a half bottle of raspberry mead at the ren faire, got a kick ASS tea pot wind chime bought for me as an early birthday gift, got a lil sun burnt, hung out with my wife & our plants, makin us some steaks, today was a good day

It’s so far looking like it might rain for my birthday next week 🤩🤩🤩🤩

If you have the privilege of being able to pursue a higher education and you “write” your essays through chat GPT you’re the fucking worst person and I hope you fail all your classes since you love wasting everybody’s time. I hate Americans so viscerally.

Don’t smoke cigarettes, otherwise every warm beautiful day or any inconvenience/bad mood is gonna make you want one so fucking bad it hurts. It’s been over a year and a half and I still consistently have dreams where I buy cigarettes and feel disappointed in myself as I smoke one 💀

I wanna look more androgynous but I am shaped like a Greek goddess marble statue & so much of the andro clothing I’m looking for is only sold in little tiny baby fucking twink “built like a 2x4” sizes. ANNOYED!!

I’m glad everyone else on the internet is finally brave enough to admit that old school Maroon 5 actually fucks so hard because I’ve BEEN sayin so lol

My wife and two of her coworkers got sun sick today

“Skinnyphobia is just as bad as fatphobia :(“ is giving “but don’t all lives matter? :(“ SHUT THE FUCK UP

Val is the most considerate, generous woman until it comes to beverages. Last night she poured herself a BRIMMING full cup of sparkling cider & filled mine 1/64th full & IT WASNT EVEN A BIT SHE FULLY MEANT IT And when her drink runs out when we’re out to eat she starts chugging mine no question 😂

Why was Dave and Busters BLARING Thick of It by KSI so loudly outside their store lmao

The Hasan x H3 debate took several years off my life, most of the debate I was sitting on my bed like

I’ve made perhaps the most bougie, delicious pitcher of mango-pineapple sun tea on the planet It’s got the most delightful red/orange color it’s genuinely perfection I will cry when it’s gone

New glasses

I think if I were to do one of those PowerPoint nights with a group of friends I would do mine on MSG and call it “American Racism: How One Guy Convinced a Whole Bunch of White People That A Specific Kind of Naturally Occurring Salt is Evil Poison”