I know I say this once a week but roadkill feels like a problem we should’ve solved by this point in society. How is this still a thing?

Feeling real weird and sad about turning 40.

Here’s the thing about Star Wars: I’d probably like it if it weren’t for Star Wars fans. I know that offends some of you, I’m sorry. But unfortunately you need to keep your people in check.

I hate to say it but I think I might be going through an “I hate people” phase. Which is very unusual for me, but in all fairness yall suck.

Everyone seems to get down on themselves when they endlessly search for a show to put on or mindlessly scroll through a feed, but whos to say that isnt our generations form of meditation. I assure you Im sure as hell not thinking when I do that. Perhaps it will lead to enlightenment. You dont know.

This is real.

Gauche is a beautiful word because it essentially means rude but with ignorance poured in and malice drained out.

Dan Muse looks ready for tonight. #NHL #Pens #Flyers

They’re really running out of titles aren’t they?

Starting a new thing where whenever I see an AI post on social media (especially Boomer Bait) I report it as spam. I don’t even give a heck anymore.

“Do you go by Sam for short?” - Actually, it’s…

Even terrible jobs will give you at least a few days off each year. Duolingo shows no mercy. Sick? - Too bad, you do it or you start at zero!

Companies, please stop doing the thing where you say: “Get 50% off your first order! Just provide your email below!” …then when you do the next prompt is: “THANKS! Now to get that 50% just provide us with your phone number!”

Be the kind of person that people in the future look back on and try to diagnose what was up with you.

Honestly, it would be hilarious to extract them from the capsule and everyone is wearing realistic ape costumes.

Okay next up: Let’s land on a fucking asteroid!

Roger that, hold comms. I’m holding comms. Not going to comms at all.

Hold up, why is it a gentle S-curve?

The NASA blackout period is for when they switch back to the studio.

Currently at the bar watching The Masters. Thinking about inventing a new sport: Hard Golf. It’s just like regular golf but it’s actually hard.

Modern People: "Silent movies are boring!" Silent Movies:

I think we as a society should start a new thing where if you are in a store and the wheels on a cart are broken when you put the cart back you flip it upside down.

Do I have any sports stat nerd friends? I just had a weird thought and I wanted to run it by someone. In hockey they should track additional shots on goal per losing games. And by that I mean, games when you lose, but have more SOG than the opponent, keep track and add them up over the season.

Okay here’s what I’m proposing: All live streaming services (Zoom, Discord, Hulu Live, etc.) should offer a “tracking” feature where you can add a variable amount of microseconds in delay to the video or audio so that it is better synchronized.

After the events of this week I think it’s safe to say the media took the bait and my secret art career shall remain secret for years to come.

The new emojis are alright but we really do live in a world of engineered optimism. If you want proof look no further than the fact that we got a Pot Of Gold and Bigfoot before we got a Guillotine. I assure you, I would use the Guillotine wayyy more often than the Pot of Gold and Bigfoot combined.

I used to always hear people talk about having synthesia. Nobody mentions it anymore. Does it just not exist anymore? I feel like something similar happened with ASMR, but in that case their thing just got overran with people who like calm shit.

All orange-boy cats are Irish right?

This could honestly make the best new “reaction meme”. Perfect for whenever someone is very publicly being an incredible schmuck.

Idk if this already happens without my knowledge but I think every summer there should be a big cook out where all the Bills, Sabres, and Bandits get to hang out with each other. I just think that would be nice.

I have always been an outsider my entire life and I will always be.

I know the “1 hour - $5M challenge” in Microsoft’s anechoic chamber is fake, but if it were real I would make it happen. But in all fairness, for $5M I would risk permanent madness.

I can’t believe it’s already been a year. I can’t believe it’s only been a year. My brain cannot in any way process it.

Just randomly finished something that I started about 20 years ago.

Folks you realise this is a holy war being waged by mad Zionists and Christian Zionists. They literally believe they’re ushering in Armageddon or some such delusional nonsense. It’s too stupid for MSM to report.

I think about Sealand a lot. I’d love to start my own country. I’d hire Richard D. James to write the national anthem. How much does an island cost? There’s gotta be some cheap ones right?

It’s the Olympics, put your phone down.

Me watching the violinists at the closing ceremony: youtu.be/x76HOWEH1O0?...

I bet Christopher Guest could make a really good movie about curling.

Playing with bleach tonight. Let’s see how it goes.

I can’t smile. What is wrong with me? It looks so weird when I try.

Just want to point out that in the movie The Green Mile the character John Coffey says he’s basically tired of all the hatred in humanity. That was back then. Can you imagine what would happen to that dude in 2026?

Got a milestone birthday coming up (40th) but I’ve got absolutely no money. Any recommendations for something special to do in the WNY that costs next to nothing? I’m open to any and all suggestions.

I’m think about getting some new glasses. Anything stand out? Anything that’s particularly ME?

Fog.