loading . . . heya. this is a post i was hoping to make on Lighter terms, but i'll have to be very to the point. i've got some shit to talk about in here to keep y'all up to date on my well being as it relates to my projects. not an emergency per se, but a series of complications nonetheless. as i'm writing this post, i have been coming off the heels of what feels like at least a few weeks straight of One Thing After The Other of things flaring up in my personal life. i've been less active on socials because it's getting extremely exhausting seeing everything happen at once to the point of my anger/spite being counter-productive. i've got a trip out of state coming up very soon and i'm gonna not have access to a good chunk of my work materials for nearly an entire month (i'll bring enough to do maybe some recording, commissions, and spriteart/coding but not much else for the month i'll be away). i've been worried about those around me that i love, more than usual. but most emotionally draining, is yet again all of the brainfog that comes with this, as well as having to confront that the environment i've been trying to work in for all of this time IRL, as is my mental, are both experiencing way too many growing pains for it to be further sustainable. i think the specifics of my personal/family life are something i'm not really going to get into as this is a more public platform. it's also an incredibly nuanced thing, and the internet generally doesn't know how to handle that, and it's not worth thinking otherwise when it comes to this kinda thing. but i *will* say that it's just hit me especially in recent realizations/events that calling my situation's imperfections, as such, is unfortunately very generous at this point. the environment perpetuated by those who i've lived with my whole life, is actively getting in the way of my productivity, and of maintaining the headspace that i ideally need to be in to do...literally anything. commissions. videos. game development. anything. i wish i could get more into it, but that's probably just best for another day when i'm actually on the other side of this. it has been like this for a while, but the waves in which it is genuinely inhibiting my ability to focus on something that feels as frankly trivial as a video going over DELTARUNE stuff...are driving me a bit insane. to be completely fucking real with you, i kinda don't care about making more vids, RIGHT NOW at least. it has been very shaky/Here and There on my priority list of things i wanna do. i still want to do it, i haven't lost my love for it, but i cannot guarantee it'll be all done before new releases; not solely due to the workload of it, but because everything going on broadly and in my life has given me an ultimatum in what i actually want to use my energy for atm. and to be genuine, i'm too excited about the ideas for games/characters in my head to go and talk about someone else's ideas for another 10 hours or so at the moment. i wish i could do all of it, but as long as i am not out of this fucking house, i unfortunately will feel only able to do one or the other with the energy that isn't taken from me by Everything Else. so...it should go without saying that i'm planning on a pretty big change to my living situation in the near future. that is the absolute most i will say, as i've thought about this for a very long time. i wanna be absolutely clear that this is not an announcement of anything being cancelled/binned. even if Chapter 5 comes out before i get to finish anything, i frankly don't think it will affect too much. the next video(s) are not going to be what you think they are. even if i had time to go through my original plans with all of this, i would have been making the same point but more subtly so: my heart is in telling my own stories. but this is a post to say that any announcements/teasers i make, are to let you know i'm around. i may find other means to Convey that as i go, but i'm in yet another period where i just need to focus on what matters most to me creatively. i've spent a lot of months brainstorming and reworking things regarding the projects i wanna do, but it is rapidly approaching a point where it's all just kind of making sense to me from top to bottom, and i wanna simply Make more. i apologize to anyone who was expecting more business as usual from me, in a youtuber sense i suppose. i was hoping for that too. you have no idea how much of a fucking workaholic i am, there is nothing i make that i don't love making. i HATE having to pick and choose. i think the trade-off is that while i don't have something like youtube to really use as a curtain for my other things, you will likely be hearing more from me about how gamedev is going instead, at least w/o spoiling anything in particular. all roads were leading there anyway, and i'm not dropping videos entirely either, it's just more or less on hiatus. i do not the have the energy as of late to focus on anything else, and my brain insists on just focusing on my OCs/games at the moment. ...i really hope you will like them just as much when i feel ready to show that off. but if not, that's okay too. i'm making all of this for a specific brand of freak(s) first and foremost, which includes myself. i'll update y'all if things are looking up, because to be absolutely fair i am at a lower period mentally and everything right now feels worse than it probably actually is. i do believe things can turn around just as, if not quicker than they crash. but i figured i'd temper expectations first in case things just happen to fall through. i guarantee you that whatever i do settle on, will be of the highest quality/effort i can possibly manage to make it with. take care of yourselves. i appreciate yall's patience. i'll try to be around even if it's not for a very big event/occasion. <3 https://mollystars.dev/posts/2026-03-19-spring-update
