Unsolicited pick pic

I'm trying a new exploration technique. It's where you see if you can have a drink in every pub in a country town in the night you're staying there. The difficulty scales with the size of the town.

Anybody here ever have any luck with telling a friend that you think their new partner is shit and making them into a boring person?

When I die, I want a count of the number of times I've walked past somebody and they have thought "What the fuck?"

Going to steal one of these signs and hang it at the entrance to my bedroom.

I said something last night as a joke that was fucking depressing in retrospect: "If my dry streak goes on any longer, it'll start getting compared to the millennium drought." For the sake of my sanity, I'm going to have to start pretending my solitude is an elaborate and deliberate bit.

Happy "The clock in my car is correct again" day to those who celebrate.

Man, I knew it would be a miracle if the next Mass Effect was good. But it seems impossible now.

Using a beat-up green Pelican case as a suitcase: Pros: -It's waterproof and won't crush -Holds your shit -I stole it from work, so it's free. -I look cool as shit hauling it through a hotel. Cons: -Fuckin none.

I am completely against the censorship of blusky because of the secondary and tertiary impacts it will have on already marginalised communities and struggling artists. But mostly because I like the porn.

"Man, I am obsessed with changing the colour of my skin" sounds much worse than "I like getting tattoos."

putting this on your timeline again

I had two experiences this week that made me feel less alone in my experience of the world: 1) Reading Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman and sympathizing with his adoration of humanity from the periphery of society. 2) Today when a tattoo artist asked me if I listen to Nevermore.

Ice cream is overrated. @TheTrolleyGame - @byDanDans #TheTrolleySolution

Different species of grass and clover are fighting for domination of my backyard. It's an all out turf war.

My horny arse can't even read an electronics catalogue in peace. Side note, I discovered the sequel to breedable.

Ended up playing Date Everything for a fun bit of escapism and the fucking game hits me with this line.

Instinctively hitting Ctrl S after writing a section of a document and Word immediately informing me that it's auto saving never fails to make me feel like an old Luddite.

Made a flower out of brass and copper sheets. Gave it to the most beautiful woman I know. We'll see how it plays out.

The Pub Patron's prayer Our maid at the bar, Hallowed be thy frame. Give us this day our daily beer And forgive us for our shitty jokes As we have forgiven the other dickheads here. For the bar, and the profits, and the glory Shall be forever yours. Amen

My best mate is flying in this weekend and I have stocked my fridge as though we both plan to put ourselves into hospital with alcohol poisoning several times over.

Slightly diminish a band: Red Warm Chili Peppers

Just had the classic South Australia conversation: -"Yeah, I've been working out at [RURAL TOWN NAME]" -"Oh, where the murders happened?" Fuck's wrong with this state?

"I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic or just committed to the bit." I wondered as I walked into the cinema with four beers and no plans of sharing.

Kinda in the mood to sit across the table from someone and just sit there thinking about how much I fucking love them.

To the two graffiti artists I spoke to last night, Thank you for not spraying over the mural after I asked you to instead use a different section of the wall. I wish you good luck with your future works.

Hot honey is just gentrified sweet chilli sauce. No, I will not be elaborating.

As a horny motherfucker, when Bonnie Tyler sang "I felt his approach like a fire in my blood." I felt that.

Achievement of the day: completed a survey into alcohol abuse with a beer in my hand.

Memory is a funny thing. I usually remember walking to the pub, but almost never remember walking home afterwards.

I saw some cans of beer on a shelf in my fridge and thought "that's a hazard because those cans could fall onto my poor toes and requiring ppe to enter the kitchen is a bit impractical." I then worked my way up the hierarchy of control and settled on "Elimination". So I'm now drinking the beers.

Today, I acheived two things: -I took a tattoo artist who was working on me several steps further down the path of radicalisation. -Held in a fart for seven hours.

Listening to the Hottest 100 has me saying "Man, what a banger" to every other song.

Horny thought of the day: Space buns are a super underrated hair style.

Your pfp is your therapist. Well, I'd end up with at least one bass-guitar-related concussion, but I think she might actually help me out a bit. Might learn to hit a satellite back into orbit in the process.

Man, it's a bit hard that today was the day that I wouldn't have minded some company and the day that several people in my life decided was the day they wouldn't answer anything.

It turns out that the only thing that is achieved by repeatedly torturing myself is that I end up repeatedly torturing myself.

embarrassing myself

🌑 5K NAUGHTY RAFFLE 🌕 A promise is a promise... I got the numbers, y'all get a #raffle ~♥️ To participate: o Follow me o ♥️ & especially 🔄 o Tag some friends Winner gets a coloured sketch :) Ends July 21th #art #nsfw #nsfwart #hentai #artist #digitalart #artraffle #giveaway #rule34 #r18 #sketch

*Looks up at night and sees the Southern Cross* See, even God is a member of the CFMEU.

Tonight at the pub, I got up and said to my mate "I'm gonna go sign into Twitch". He looked confused so I clarified "Becuase I'm gonna go start a stream." And then went for a piss. Somehow not the worst or weirdest euphemism we've come up with.

Help me out: Which of the following is more likely to be true? A) I am down bad to the point of requiring palliative care. B) The world is full of absolute goddesses who deserve to be worshipped.

If I was little bit prettier, people might stick around long enough to notice that I'm good company.

Just saw someone walking a Labradoodle down my street, so rent's probably going to go up soon.

I'm at the local pub watching State of Origin while some local musicians butcher covers on a nearby stage. Can't tell if they're performing worse than the blues or not.