Kash Patel‘s girlfriend saw the jacket and asked Kash to get her 50 just like it, to sell at her concerts. The FBI has transferred a domestic terrorism unit to help with the embroidery, which is very time consuming! She was heard saying, ‘Can’t you get a better plane?’

Kristi Noem held another angry press briefing after a large group of ICE agents, clearly mesmerized by sorcerers, were found going door to door in New Orleans, apologizing for their outrageous behaviour. She was very stylish in a retro 60’s denim jacket, colorfully embroidered with peace signs!

When asked if she had a message for Trump about the Trump/Epstein files a PRF representative said simply, ‘The clock’s ticking’, which is ironic since time doesn’t exist in the psychic plane. When asked, Putin said, ‘Just give me Sudetenland, I mean Ukraine’!

Stephen Miller has grown increasingly frustrated at being asked by the press about his birth certificate. Asked for comment, the PRF said, ‘If he’s telling the truth, why won’t he just release it’?

After an incident caused the motel to close permanently, Eric has been sent to scout sites for the new Trump Moscow. Asked for comment Putin smiled and said, ‘Just give me Ukraine’!

When Don Jr arrived at the Masai village to go lion hunting, he was informed that he wouldn’t need his rifles, as he was going to kill the lion with a spear. He suddenly remembered a phone call. He was overheard profusely apologizing to Suzy Wiles and begging for another chance!

Asked if he has anything on Trump, such as a pee-pee tape with young girls, Vladimir Putin smiled and said, ‘Just give me Ukraine and I promise not to attack Poland’!

The PRF stated today that if the government doesn’t release the full Trump/Epstein files, they will release the full Trump Akashic Record. Their spokesperson commented, ‘Trump knows everything that’s in there. I think he’ll do the right thing’.

The Trump government is stubbornly refusing to release the Trump/Epstein files. Asked for comment, the PRF said, ‘The truth is out there, and it will come out, one way or the other’! Vladimir Putin nodded, smiled and said, ‘Exactly’!

Noem was styling in a fringed buckskin jacket beautifully embroidered and sporting a peace sign. Kash Patel’s girlfriend wanted 12 of them for her and friends. Patel tasked a counter terrorism unit with helping to embroider the jackets, a very time consuming task!

Kristi Noem is furious after a large group of ICE agents travelled from Ohio to DOJ headquarters to turn themselves in for crimes against humanity. Noem blames PRF sorcerers who held a seance outside the hotel where the agents were sleeping!

Trump is negotiating with the Brooklyn Nets to play at the new Trump Dome. They will wear bright orange jerseys and be called the Trumpnettes! A line of very young girls was seen outside the Oval Office waiting for Trump to interview them to be cheerleaders!

Eric and Don Jr were heard having a loud argument with a recovered Suzy Wiles regarding an interview that revealed the Venezuelan oil plan. Eric has been reassigned to manage a small motel in Alaska. Don Jr has been sent to Kenya to learn how to kill a charging lion with a spear!

The PRF has stated that they have agents in Santa Monica researching Stephen Miller’s “birth”. Said a spokesperson, ‘We’re finding things you wouldn’t believe!’ They called on Miller to produce his birth certificate!

Eric, Don Jr and Jared have formed a company to manage the Venezuelan oil wells. Asked for a response, the PRF said, ‘We’ll have our sorcerers turn all the oil into clean drinking water. We certainly need more of that!’

Pressed on releasing the Trump/Epstein Akashic Records, a PRF spokesperson said, ‘If absolutely necessary we will definitely do that. However, the Records are sacred, and it’s not a thing we take lightly‘. Asked what was in the files, she turned very pale and said, ‘Things that haunt my dreams’.

A spokesperson for the psychic revolutionaries has issued an ultimatum to Trump: Release all the files or we’ll open the Akashic Records. Asked how much time they were giving Trump to release them, she stated that time doesn’t exist in the psychic plane.

White House crisis! After successfully destroying all photos incriminating Trump in the Epstein files Trump was shocked to learn that it is all stored in the Akashic Records and that the psychic revolutionaries had gained access to them.

Kristi Noem has accused the PRF of war crimes. She claims they used a mass hypnotherapy technique to mesmerize a large group of ICE agents. The stunned agents were found wandering poor neighborhoods in Chicago giving food and money to black and brown people. Stephen Miller is furious!

The PRF has accused Stephen Miller of being an illegal alien from another galaxy, sent to scout the US for a possible invasion. DOJ and ICE are investigating. The PRF said, ‘Produce your birth certificate!’

Overhearing Don Jr talking about Venezuelan oil, Suzy Wiles clutched her forehead and passed out cold. She is currently being treated for shock and is expected to make a full recovery!

The Trumps have been trying to buy the psychic plane. When told it wasn’t for sale Eric said, ‘daddy says everything is for sale’. Don Jr said, ‘look, if it’s about $, as soon as Eric and I take over the Venezuelan oil wells, we’ll be swimming in money!’

Kristi Noem warned that any revolutionaries captured will be sent to CECOT. The PRF warned that if Kristi Noem is captured, she will be sent to acting school!

Responding to Trump’s stadium plan, the PRF vowed to bring in a team of sorcerors and turn it into the world’s deepest lake!

Bowing to public opinion, Trump has cancelled the ballroom. Instead he will demolish the entire White House and build a giant domed sports stadium. It will be bright orange and called the Trump Stadium.

Kristi Noem has accused the PRF of war crimes. She claims they used a mass hypnotherapy technique to mesmerize a large group of ICE agents. The stunned agents were found wandering poor neighborhoods in Chicago giving food and money to black and brown people. Stephen Miller is furious!

Pressed by reporters on why a psychic group would form a political arm, a representative said, ‘It’s simple really. It has an acronym, PRF. You try saying social/psychic/transcendental revolution four times, quickly’!

When asked about Johnson’s accusation, a spokesperson for the PRF simply smiled and said, ‘We don’t comment on ongoing investigations’.

Mike Johnson has accused the revolutionaries of spiking Republican drinking water with psychedelics. Asked for proof, he pointed to MTG, saying ‘You can’t make gains like that, that quickly, without chemical enhancement’.

The revolutionaries announced today the formation of their political arm, The Psychic Revolutionary Front, called PRF. They explained: ‘Politics is ugly, but ever since free will began, we’ve needed democracy’.

A spokesperson for the psychic revolutionaries has issued an ultimatum to Trump: Release all the files or we’ll open the Akashic Records. Asked how much time they were giving Trump to release them, she stated that time doesn’t exist in the psychic plane.

She further stated that Marco Rubio would have a longer sentence than the others, as he’s smart enough to know how wrong his actions are. Kristi Noem and Tom Homan wouldn’t be sentenced ’as they just don’t get it!’

A spokesperson for the psychic revolutionaries has confirmed that there is no such place as hell. However, the behaviour of the Trump cabinet has caused the development of plans to build one. We won’t keep them forever, just long enough to realize the damage they caused with their actions.

White House crisis! After successfully destroying all photos incriminating Trump in the Epstein files Trump was shocked to learn that it is all stored in the Akashic Records and that the psychic revolutionaries had gained access to them.

Another revolutionary has escaped, this time from a massive safe in Fort Knox. When questioned, a confused seeming Tom Homan commented, ‘We’re still investigating. It seems as though these people can walk through walls. This could be dangerous at the border‘!

Feeling insecure after his girlfriend admires a psychic revolutionary, Kash Patel has signed up for a meditation retreat and asked for agents to bring him contraband magic mushrooms!

Pete Hegseth has blamed Trump’s recent erratic behaviour on psychic revolutionaries, claiming they sent airborne LSD into the Oval Office. A psychic representative, asked for comment, said: ‘LSD, that’s ridiculous. It was magic mushroom extract’.

President Trump held a full cabinet meeting at the White House today, to discuss what is making the psychic revolution so popular. Stephen Millar blamed it on immigration. RFK Jr blamed Tylenol. Kristi Noem spent the meeting looking at costumes from the Sixties!

Despite their busy schedule, the revolutionaries held their awards dinner last night. Trump won for original skin color. Kristi Noem won for best actress, cosplay, and Marco Rubio won the Lindsay Graham award for his performance as a jellyfish. All awards will be delivered telepathically!

Hegseth is furious! The only black ops squad that knew where the psychic plane is, defected to the revolution. There are other black ops units who study The Phenomenon but no one knows who they are, who they report to, or where they are based. Apparently it is ‘need to know’.

Tom Homan announced that ICE had captured a top psychic revolutionary. One hour later, an embarrassed Homan had to announce that she had escaped, by turning the ICE facility into a pond and swimming away. ‘From now on all ICE facilities will be equipped with life jackets‘ Homan said.

The elite ‘black ops’ squad lost in the ether of the spiritual plane were rescued by revolutionaries. After spending time with their rescuers they all defected to join the revolution. As one said, ‘I had forgotten how much fun it is to laugh’.

With Ice drafted into battling the psychic revolutionaries, Kristi Noem is sporting a new outfit;a loose fitting, flowing white robe, embroidered with namaste, topped off by a shiny leather belt, holding a 44 magnum! Fierce spiritual warrior!

Donald Trump and Pete Hegseth met with top generals today, to plan a nuclear attack on the psychic plane. The problem, as one general put it, ‘It’s hard to plan an attack, when you don’t know where it is or what to looks like.’ Trump, ‘Maybe we just blow up all of creation?’

An elite squad from a black ops military unit, sent to the psychic plane to track down spiritual warriors, has become lost and disappeared. Pete Hegseth vowed to rescue them, ‘even if we have to blow the whole place into oblivion.’

Pam Bondi has declared the psychic revolutionaries and issued several warrants. They are difficult to serve because’they disappear into the psychic plane’. Kash Patel has vowed to track them down whenever he’s not dating his girlfriend!

A large group of philosophers and theologians was summoned to the White House today. Using pictures and children’s books, they unsuccessfully tried to explain the meanings of psychic and transcendental to President Trump.

Pete Hegseth has accused the social/psychic revolutionaries of war crimes. Apparently, using LSD, and help from a sorceror, they convinced Ice agents to arrest only white people since they came here illegally and ruined the country for the First Nations, the true owners!

Ice agents caused a massive traffic jam in illinois today. They had been sent to fight against the social/psychic/transcendental revolution and they got confused trying to find the psychic plane on their maps!

Apparently the social/psychic revolution is going well. The battles are being contested on the psychic plane, and the staunchest defenders of hatred and anger don’t know what that is!