omg everybody go draw a horse this is what the internet was made for gradient.horse

pitching woo

that’s my emotional support fact

how nice to see you at a time when adrenaline isn’t coursing through my body

big dog bitch can’t lil sis me

we is a strong word

dance break!

nostrand LIRR users we need to unionize i'm upSET

you've undoubtedly had the thought "this train is so slow I could beat it on foot." let it be known that you're probably right! @jessjoseph.bsky.social found a guy who's making it his mission to beat the city's trains — and ferries — across the five boroughs: nygroove.nyc/racing-subwa...

price of gold soaring ... my time to shine

there are tiffins at the live show don't text

my nightmares are full of dead links

living in wonder is the rent I owe god

if the charmin bears have no haters i am dead

claim to be a player but i fucked your wife

Procrustean bed

not from where I’m standing

famously Paul Erdos died mid math conference

a good measure of how happy i am is that i pray for more time

i’m at a hannakuh party where someone has brought deconstructed guacamole pie

actually I knew that was for me

if no one else got me i know eastern parkway got me

torrential, say torrential to me ONE MORE TIME

out of all the reindeers you know you’re my favorite one

no I’m not from Queens I wonder why you think that

out of all the reindeers you know you’re the mastermind

at least i’m an insomniac in these here city

talk it so good

mercury in sag and yet I persist

my name’s Jess Joseph I hope I’ve pronounced that right

lobster too juicy!

making me mugwort tea and liver

butter and pretty dresses

victimless crime

creative forecasting an undernamed skill

much to think about for example when you try to take someone’s cross you rob them of their resurrection !!

even if you faint at jay st meteoric you’re allowed to live in new york

anyhow

they’ve made brussels sprouts less bitter why would anything be impossible

i’m having a great time

i’m having a nice time

public acknowledgment of helen ho saving my little life thrice now

seemal turns to me at the bar to say “johns and jim’s and tim’s and tom’s“

the pigeon colors in my hair don’t pick up on camera and yet i persist

me and every other alt indian person in nyc at elsewhere tonight see y’all there 😘

New York Groove subscriber Zohran Mamdani has converted the president to socialism

my life operates on sitcom logic no complaints

experiencing unconditional love on my state mandated lunch break

experiencing ego death on my state mandated lunch break