That Autoglass jingle's pure wrecked my brain, by the way.

Drop an old person you're going to turn into in the future. Let's face facts:

Goddammit, even the gay porn version won't let Hopper and Joyce be together without the kids getting in the way. And I'm so confused about who the one in the Scoops Ahoy uniform's meant to be. #strangerthings

Job 1 herding small humans: done. Now to go teach some big humans to dance!

A day off?! 😁 What should I do with it?

So unrealistic. Who carries coins anymore?

Me after Me remembering a bad shift the Muppets exist

But also, here's my fat cock. #fcf

while I’m being cranky, access journalism needs to go. When the president does his “I’m alpha because I insulted you” thing somebody needs to fall on his sword and say “what the fuck is wrong with you, old man?” on a hot mic. the hero of the wizard of Oz is Toto.

x = kiss o = hug Right?

When I did my Law degree in '20-'22, the course was just about managing to keep up with topical queries, like prorogation, Brexit, COVID etc., with some foreboding, but an overarching hope. I can't imagine what courses are filled with now we see intl and dom law/ethics being consistently pissed on.

For 2 decades, I've maintained that I designed a very similar console for a market research project in high school and that 'Nintendo stole my idea 😉', and now I'm realising I did all that AFTER the Gamecube had already been announced, so actually *I* stole *their* idea and maybe cheated a little. 😅

My back hasn't been the same since. @thevikinggamer.bsky.social

Literally thought this was going in a 'sheeple' direction, like the wool was seized from woke homosexuals by the red-pill gays at Grindr.

Reminder that Trump’s guest at the White House the Saudi prince MBS is not only involved in the murder of a US journalist but he is also part of the Jeffrey Epstein Network.

Has my belly gotten too big since then?

Felt thicc, might delete 🐻

Honestly, we're long past the point of thinking this Labour govt are just inept, or grovelling to far-right voters. This era of the Labour Party knows what it is, what it stands for, and what it doesn't. It always did. And it conned us into thinking it was any less insidiously shit than the Tories.

Did Trump add that tag on the right?

But also, here's my fat cock. #fcf

I need to stop smiling like this in photos.

The "please cum back" is a little needy, I'm not gonna lie.

My balls are pretty big, too. #fcf

I genuinely don't think this is possible.

Teddy bears get tired, too. 😴

These are the moments you realise all your favourite thirst traps of yourself ain't shit. 😰🔥

As the single most important news story this year, I can't wait to see the detailed and central coverage this will get in every media outlet we have

Without saying your age, who was your first animated crush? (iykyk)

I came out as bi at school at 14, then was fully, loudly gay to everyone, at all times by 16. I've now realised it's always been more complicated than straight-up "gay", but in 2001, I never allowed for the fact I might really be bi or pan. So now at 38, I still 'come out'/clarify when it comes up.

...Wait, what? 😅

Honestly, I didn't get the gangbang I wanted for my 18th birthday, and I'm still mad about it.

🚑

Hair: cut. Teaching: done. Me: sweatsome.

Listen, I'm not thrilled that he's breaking into my house to do that, but at least it looks like he's leaving cash. 🤷🏻‍♂️

👻😈

When your buddy has to give you CPR.

Finally binged season 2 and, honestly, I've never been more attracted to anyone.

"So, like, who do you have a crush on? Is it someone at school?" 00s Me: "Um..."

The way producing and designing Little Shop has consumed my life for the entire summer, and it's so nearly time for it to happen. A fortnight to pull it all together? Sure I can! 😅

Solid and topical priorities, my dude. 😅

It's a stay-at-home-and-dream-of-a-haircut kind of storm.

Absolutely no one listening to Taylor's new album:

Guys, I don't know where the batteries go, but this animatronic bear needs a new one 🧸🪫😮‍💨

Sliding into October pussy-first like

We're all sleeping naked, right?

I gave my first ever blowjob at 14 to an 18-year old uni rugby player (with the same first name as me) at a screening of Moulin Rouge on the top floor of Europe's tallest cinema, then wrote an unhinged 6-page diary entry about it. 24 years later, that cinema's closing down. 🎼 Sunriiiise, sunset...

🎼 Darling, that's two grAaAnd...

Summer disappeared on me pretty fast 😅💦

Wait, so we're supposed to get our fat cocks out EVERY Friday? Then what do we do with them? #fcf