All season I have been tied in home runs with Fernando Tatis Jr., but this afternoon he pulled ahead. I need to do better.

Kicking the ball over the goal is a risky strategy, because it rarely goes in.

Why doesn’t Disney do an original trilogy version of Clone Wars? A short-episode cartoon series with popular characters on adventures of the week that takes place between the original trilogy movies, like the old Star Wars comic books, could be a lot of fun.

I will probably never again enjoy another athlete's run with a team, in any sport, as much as I enjoyed Mo Salah's run with Liverpool. Farewell, Egyptian King.

Liverpool failed to win again... Boo. Spurs avoided being relegated... Boo. I'll have to settle for those losers at Chelsea failing to qualify for even the third-rate European competition... Yay.

This soccer season has sucked. The only thing that can save it is Spurs being relegated.

I am enjoying that in the background of the photo is Stephen A. Smith blathering on about something.

Calling Project Hail Mary (which is a lot of fun) "high art" should lead to deleting your account out of embarrassment.

According to the Sight and Sound 250, the greatest filmmaking run in history was by Michael Powell & Emeric Pressburger from 1943-1948, when they made six movies that made the list, one right after another. In the last year I have watched all six, and so I can now report that all six are... fine.

You heard it here first: This Wemby guy is going to be a good player.

Knicks vs. Cavs. One of them goes to the NBA Finals. Unless Michael Jordan shows up and both teams lose out of habit.

There have now been 55 Madduxes under 90 pitches since MLB began racking pitch counts in 1988. You should not be surprised to know that the pitcher with the most such games is... Greg Maddux, with 7 of them.

Maddux Alert: Bailey Ober of the Twins has shut out the Marlins on just 89 pitches! Ober joins Adam Wainwright and Sonny Gray as the only MLB pitchers with a Maddux of under 90 pitches so far this decade.

These are hideous and anyone wearing one deserves to be mocked loudly and often.

If you've lost six straight League games for the first time in generations, barely capable of scoring in any of them, then a trip to Anfield to face the hollow shell that is this season's Liverpool is the relief you've been waiting for.

The Guardians are only one win above .500 and have a negative run differential, but would currently be the #2 seed and receive a bye in the AL postseason. Is it time to disband the American League?

Luke and Leia being siblings was a terrible storytelling choice and the seed for a huge amount of what’s wrong with most Star Wars media.

Between the guy at the Guardians game who stole the home run ball from that little girl, Cavs fans chanting "U-S-A" during their playoff game tonight, and the ongoing existence of people who like the Browns, this is an embarrassing time for Cleveland sports fans.

The Pirates are in last place in the NL Central, but have a better record than anyone in the AL Central or AL West.

Liverpool is going to lose its final four games of the season and fumble its Champions League spot.

I guess it’s time for Wrexham to go out and get more venture capital.

Name your top 15 TV shows ever, gut instincts only. In no particular order: The Simpsons BoJack Horseman The Americans The Wire Deadwood The Sopranos Breaking Bad Better Call Saul Andor Freaks and Geeks Arrested Development Detroiters The Good Place Parks and Recreation Bluey

I made a Sherman joke after seeing the Knicks/Hawks score, then scrolled down and saw I had been beaten to it.

How many points does Sherman have for the Knicks tonight?

My marathon time of 3:59:21 is no longer within half the speed of the world record. That’s the real story here, right?

My 6-year-old is loving T-ball, and made a couple nice plays during an inning as pitcher today, one of which I even managed to catch on camera!

Now we just need the AP to declare that woah is not a word.

I checked on a soccer score and it was 1-0. I checked again just six minutes later and it was 4-0. There's a doings a transpiring in Sunderland.

If you're appalled by all the pedophiles running America (and you should be), you shouldn't be going to see the Jackson estate's new propaganda film this weekend, or ever, no matter how much you like Thriller. Selectively supporting pedophiles isn't it.

The U.S. should not be allowed to host or participate this year. I would have a lot of respect for any nation that boycotts, but I’m not holding my breath.

There’s a good chance my daughter is the only 3rd grader on the planet who watched Gremlins 2 in a movie theater tonight.

No team with a 12-game losing streak has ever made the postseason, so now the Mets have a chance to make history.

Scoring goals in the Premier League is pretty hard, so it's totally fine that Chelsea has gone five straight league games without scoring a single goal. You shouldn't laugh at them.

This third-tier club has won the Premier League more recently than Manchester United.

My 1997 Honda Civic could do 13.1 miles in under ten minutes, so I don't find this very impressive.

José Ramírez is better at his job than you. He might also be better at your job than you are. Watch your back.

Liverpool continues to be the most aggravating team on the planet to root for. If they have not blown their lead against you yet, don't worry, it's coming.

Oh no. Anderson was a random favorite of mine. He put up fun counting stats at the plate season after season, because he just put the ball in play. More than career 2500 hits, 500 doubles, and 1300 RBI before he retired. He died way too young.

He's heading out for the 9th!!!

Send Parker Messick back out for the 9th. Tell him he only gets 10 pitches or something if you want, but the man has a chance at Cleveland's first no-hitter in 45 years. Send him back out.

Even if you weren’t a journalist, it would be *so* embarrassing for people to know you had sex with a football coach.

PSG/Bayern road to the finals vs Arsenal road to the finals

I wish Liverpool still had Luis Díaz.

This is more than legislation. This work is personal to me. theonion.com/illinois-bec...

Mo Salah, the greatest goal scorer in European matches Liverpool has ever had, has played his final European match for Liverpool. My gosh, I’ll miss him.

"Only in Dreams" is the final track on Weezer's Blue Album. It's an 8-minute epic. Near the end it builds for a while, and around 6:45, it explodes. I have been Alfred Molina-ing that moment since I was in junior high.

Miller’s Crossing Other answers are wrong.

Live your life in a way that will lead people to drop off boxes of baseball cards for you.

Alcantara is now through 8 shutout innings on 83 pitches, one inning away from potentially becoming the first pitcher since Greg Maddux in 2000 to pitch consecutive Madduxes. This is not a drill!

Sandy Alcantara, who pitched a Maddux in his last start, is through 7 shutout innings on just 72 pitches right now. Pitchers with two Madduxes in the same month: K.Downs (June 1988) B.Tewksbury (Aug 1990**) Z.Smith (May 1991) G.Maddux (Sept 2000**) S.Miller (May 2015) **: consecutive starts