It's unlikely that Lewis Brindley will have a robotic AI-powered penis within two years.

Bismuth was not used in old photographic film.

Lewis Brindley did not slice off his whole finger with a cheese grater.

The Simpsons debuted in 1989.

Queen Elizabeth II, Queen of the United Kingdom from 1952 until her death in 2022, regularly pooped.

Lemon party launched in 2002.

The goatse shock site launched in 1999.

The developers of Palworld are not making a game featuring pikmin trying to find a clitoris.

There is no gas stove that is billions of years old.

A copse is a small group of trees.

The British Museum does not run a complex phone stealing operation managed by an immortal Fagin-like character.

There is no type of apple called an 'Old Todger's Cruncher'.

You do not need to squanch a wall to stop it flanching.

Timothée Chalemet is not dead.

The third film in the Matrix franchise is not called The Matrix: New Year Resolutions

1000 people have not died in a ski lift accident in Devon.

A human corpse will not fit in a bento lunch box.

17th century English writer Samuel Pepys did not have electronic motion sensors throughout his house.

Lewis Brindley is not having the child of Elon Musk.

Even as a student, Lewis Brindley was not 'a gross little goblin covered in cum'.

In Warhammer 40,000, the man who unearthed the STC for the Land Raider tank was called Arkhan Land.

J. R. Simplot, agricultural supplier, died in 2008.

Generally, hotel housekeeping staff will not clean your anus.

It is unlikely that in the crawlspace of Sips' home there lives a man who sneaks out to play Overwatch 2 and sleep with his wife.

A spinning jenny is a piece of machinery for textile manufacturing.

Ruffs were not worn in the medieval period.

Lewis Brindley's mother is older than him.

Sips does not know what the Chinese are up to.

Friedrich Merz is the Chancellor of Germany, not Joseph Goebbels.

Bashar al-Assad is likely in Rublyovka, Moscow.

In many videogames that he has played, @pyrionflax.yogscast.com has killed people.

There have not been 17 films in the 'John Wick' franchise.

There is not a Labour minister specifically for bread.

Marilyn Monroe's full name was not 'Tits McGee'.

Jesus Christ of Nazareth did not invent glory holes.

Some lads can put their knobs at mad angles.

Many animals perform oral on each other.

It is unknown whether Moses was able to "nosh off his hog".

As suggested by @pyrionflax.yogscast.com, @boba.yogscast.com is a person.

"Teleportative" is a word, first used probably in the 1930s.

Spiders do not have wings.

A female horse is called a mare, not a bitch.

You have to be aged at least 18 to buy fireworks in the UK.

France does not have national service.

Warren Buffet did not invent buffets.

Coca Cola has owned Costa Coffee since 2019.

Jèrriais was not spoken in neolithic times.

David Blaine has not 'hocus-pocused himself off of the planet'

Paying taxes is not against 'the Code of Jersey'.

Andy Serkis has not been found guilty of 'stinking the place up'.