I'm so damn sick again, I've had 4 naps today 🤒

Catching up on the 3rd hour of AEW from Wednesday and just noticing the fuckhead with the maga hat in the crowd. Why did no one pour a beer on his head?

This is one of the most stunningly bad wrestling pitches I've ever heard

Yeah, like... you guys know the titles are gonna exist after the tournament is over, right? This just adds fuel to their fire, which they desperately need tbh. #AEW

Just starting #AEWDynamite now and holy shit what a card. Can't wait for Okada vs. Dorada especially. There's nothing better than Okada up against a luchador

One of my biggest competitors around here often did a 10% Off deal. Always made me laugh because it's a completely useless offer

One thing I'm excited for in my move to Wisconsin - help them turn blue by voting out fuck knuckles like this guy

All you fedheads are getting is a 55-year-old Chris Jericho and YOU'LL LIKE IT 🤼

What would your wrestling entrance music be? Mine.. Babyface: 'Party Hard' - Andrew WK Heel: 'Run Boy Run' - Woodkid 🤼

Sometimes I feel like an NPC in my little shop. Glad no one's tried to shoot me for funsies

Look up phone cases just one time if you wanna ruin your ad algorithm on everything forever

NEW: Epstein survivors release the most powerful PSA I have ever seen. Make this go viral so every member of the House of Representatives sees it.

Never thought I'd be watching Gophers-Ducks and the Timberwolves on a lime green court in split-screen, but here I am

Me: *explains federal hemp ban to a customer* Her: "THAAAT fucking piece of shit Trump!"

English Teacher AND Poker Face were cancelled today?! THE HITS JUST KEEP COMING, DONT THEY

My wife started her job in WI, my business in MN is more chaotic than ever, we still have our 1-yr-old to take care of, and the most recent house showing said our house had "too much of a dog smell" That triggered me. We're trying so hard to keep up. Dog smell doesn't come with the house, dicknuts.

Holy fucking epic. Both Blood & Guts were absolutely insane tonight. #AEWDynamite

The women really went out and had the best Blood & Guts match ever on their first try. #AEWDynamite

Thank GOD Blood & Guts is tonight. My life is a total shitshow right now and I need some AEW to escape it for 2 1/2 hours

There is an amendment being proposed to remove the hemp-banning language, but I'm not confident it will matter. If ACA credits ended up not mattering, there's no way hemp will move the needle back. Being forced out isn't exactly how I wanted to leave this industry.

The real question is if you're gonna make some poor commentator eat mayo-covered ice cream on camera again 😂 That was the funniest/nastiest shit I've ever seen

Another thing they're not telling you: If this passes the House, hemp-derived edibles (including harmless CBD) will be banned nationwide. Just a little industry-killer they snuck in there for funsies

Hey NFL GMs, there actually is a different way to do this 🤦‍♂️

On today's episode of 'Why Bother?'

It should've been you in 2016, Bernie. It should've been you 😭

Stupid baseball ass score. Someone score a TD!

Catching up on the weekend's AEW news and... 😂 see ya never, Newell. You were fired by the guy you were tricked into thinking believes in you twice in three years. Your shit does, in fact, stink.

If you have to phrase it that way, I think y'all have your answer already

Meanwhile, El0n thinks he needs to be a trillionaire

Finally got my hair cut for the first time in a couple months. Told her I wanted to veer shorter, so she said she'd go finger-length. But she went like.. military short. Now people are gonna think I'm a bigot for a week and a half

'Friendship' & 'The Chair Company' have sent me into a full-blown Tim Robinson kick. Idk how I ended up late to the party on this guy, I'm cracking up at absolutely everything

Awesome start to this tournament. Last night's match was a blast. I've got Toni & Mina going over the Sisters of Sin in the finals. Where's everyone else at? #AEW

"Can I get a brick sandwich on whole wheat?" "Sure thing... wait what?" "Just.. make it. To go please."

One of the BEST phone features to be introduced in the last decade is the Google assistant who answers spam calls, and then just shoots them down if their answers aren't good enough. And then you can listen to the interaction afterwards!

Maybe it's the policies. But maybe it's the beard. Your move, Pete.

The courts are reversing the firings anyway lmao Also "we fucked up, but we can't admit it, so we're gonna make it look like a favor to you and then still gut healthcare" is the dumbest shit attempt at a compromise I've ever heard. Fuck Republicans. Release the files.

I'm telling you - Trump has threatened Johnson's life over this

Since the new AEW National Title is being defended across lots of different promotions, I do hope some outside talent gets to hold the belt here and there. The concept loses its luster otherwise

A little PSA in "know your terms before you cock off" that I just experienced... Caller: Hi, are you selling smokeable cannabis yet? Me: We have no plans to go full rec. Caller: Yet you call yourself Nothing But Hemp? Me: Hemp is not marijuana.

So fucking sad. He scored the punt block TD on Monday night. Always check on your people.

Ok someone help me out. Is the bald guy in the front row with the white hoodie Maven or Billy Zane? #AEWDynamite

Guy FULLY decked out in WWE gear just walked into the store. Same day I'm wearing my FTR shirt under my flannel. Normally I'd bump it mark-to-mark, but... nah gross. #AEWDynamite tonight!

Fucking right doggy, that's good cake! #AEWDynamite

Some dude just brought SO much Taco Bell to the place next to my store. I haven't had Tbell in over a month 😭

I can't remember anyone in US politics having as much cuck energy as Mike Johnson

Oh HELL yes! #AEW

Finally had a chance to sit down and watch Bandido-Dorada II. What a goddamn masterclass. #AEW

I thought DET -9.5 was nonsense with how healthy the #Vikings were getting, but I did not expect a W. Awesome game, best I've felt about em all year. Skol!

This is the QB we've been waiting for 🔥 no looking back now. #Vikings