When you have a very specific type…..

The Christians are wilding again. Baby Jesus! Come get your ppl. They are not okay!

the longer I stay single, the stranger the idea of integrating my life with someone else's feels.

I just discovered ice-cream pancakes. I should not have been granted this much power.

Am I considering my next project based on the company’s HQ location? I’m also not not doing that. I’ve had to travel to the Midwest for a year. Give me NY, Miami, Chicago, LA. Hell! Give me Seattle

FIFA!!! You need to take your elbow off the scale just a little bit

Y’all really hate each other. Fascinating!

Just completed the worst run ever but I completed it.

Trump strikes again! Everything he touches, dies!

The N*zi tattoo should have been a straight tell but we’re in silly season.

I just slept through a manicure appointment. I don’t know how but I did it

Sycophancy is a fascinating thing. What is the point of “Fuck You!” Money if you can’t say “fuck you” to someone as odious as this. Is that Michael Dell back there looking like a doofus? Michael Dell!

When you make ChatGPT write your wedding vows but you forgot to add “be concise”. 😭

A friend called zoos “animal prison” and I’ve not been able to see them differently ever since

This is a skill issue

After the Peachtree 10k yesterday, I was on a Marta train, and these kids (couldn’t be more than 21) started talking about their stakes/bets. I fear sports gambling has become an epidemic.

“Mexican Chicken Baguette” just means the seasoned chicken sandwich

I ran a 10K today. That’s it.

Cabo Verde! Take a bow!

The line to pick up race bibs for the Peachtree Road Race is like 3 blocks long (and keeps growing). If this was on your to-do list for this morning and you’re not here yet, make different life choices

Sam Altman is about to give all your “ChatGPT! Is my boyfriend cheating on me? Here’s all my message records for you to help me find out” data to Trump

The Celtics front office must be doing Ayahausca…. Just being drunk can’t explain this!

For me, tattoos. If only I can just find a tattoo artist I trust in Atlanta

It wasn’t even close. Democrats! Are you listening? @democrats.org Either you fight for the people or you get the fuck out the way!

If you ppl like you should use your favorite crutches “but her emails….” or your latest bangers “but Gaza….” “she’s a cop” when it comes time to shut the fuck up and vote en masse. This is but a snippet of what these hateful fascists will enact.

Yeah….Niklas! We noticed. The user experience on Spotify is now horrible. The app is now incapable of basic tasks like keeping track of where you stopped listening to any media. Search just throws up a tonne of AI-slop. Yeah, Niklas! We noticed you’ve handled your entire application to AI.

By a 5-4 vote margin, the “SCOTUS” rules birthright citizenship is still the law of the land. If any Democrat enters office and doesn’t fucking decimate this court….

This fair could have been a Teams thread

I hate being in a meeting with 2 bullshitters. They’ve just spent the last 1hr trading bullshit back and forth while my team have to sit through this

Sheep Detective is the sweetest thing I’ve seen this month

Not a substitute for lack of taste, ability or basic competence. Acceleration/Multiplication, not transformation.

If Salad Cream becomes a thing in the US, even GLP-1s will struggle to fix this. Just leave it well alone

supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

I am tired of ATL entrepreneurs. That lack of….sense….is mind boggling

The problem with doing stupid things, when you lack self-awareness and humility to walk back your daft choices, is you’ll have to do even stupider things to defend the initial stupid thing. Congratulations to all parties involved….

“Our problems are in different tax brackets”

And they say love is not real. Real love right here…..cos in my house, you and your sensory issue gon have a come to Jesus moment

I was in someone’s office yesterday, and while we were talking, one of his colleagues came in to drop some documents and stopped to say “Dude! What did you do here? Your office smells amazing TODAY” And dude was like “I wish I could take credit for that🥺”

TAKE. ALL. MY. MONEY….

I wrote a check for a big boy purchase yesterday and it was so much fun. Why don’t we write checks anymore?

The Naija Heat.

He hates that woman deeply.

The man has the charm of a soggy sock. 🤢

I am not in any way aroused by the notion of emotional meagerness and incuriosity as currency

Our life is classes art crafts liquor looking at the stars hugging dogs and seeing if that plant could kill me

This!!! So much this!!! I’ve been so unhappy without you, how do you think I’m about to be miserable with you?? How Sway???

Vasectomies cost less than child support.

Lionel Messi is otherworldly. Only reasonable explanation