Damn! I was really happy 6 months ago. “So what happened?” you ask…..let’s not talk about that. I needed to relearn certain lessons and I’ve learned them. We move!

Just hit me I haven’t cooked anything more complicated than soft scrambled eggs in 5 months. Depression is a female dog!

WTF?!?!? Okay! We need to seize everyone’s computers till we figure out what is going on! Who asked for this? (probably the same idiots falling in love with ChatGPT) Jesus Christ!

Today I am giving MINIMUM EFFORT!!! I am only here (and by “here” I mean I’m working from my bed) to get paid (also because I have a major production release on Monday). MINIMUM EFFORT, people!!!

They’re welcome!

Meg might be the only reason that man is still interested in competing on an NBA court. Have these ppl met Klay? Dude just wants to chill, hang out with his dogs and fish.

Can’t Fox News or other networks be sue for behaviors like these? Just blatant lying.

AI is a Rorschach test.

The silver lining here is this gives the next Democrat President a blank check to tear all this shit down.

“They’ll go out and negotiate their own insurance” Does this not sound insane to anyone else? How long are we enabling this insanity?

People who date aggressively or as they say “with intention” actually terrify me. Folks just out here interacting with ppl while running them against literal checklists in their minds as they speak…..of course they won’t be themselves, they’re too busy trying to pass the test.

Pastor…. @solomonmissouri.bsky.social

I don’t even do 30yr mortgages and this dumbass is advocating 50yr mortgages. SMH.

So basically just rent in a suit. When are we going to start talking about how this man is clinically insane and in control of the nuclear codes?

Chocolate is only great in one form. Liquid! Chocolate Candy is good, and cake barely tolerable.

They SCARED scared

Notice how even the Dads who feigned disgust smiled after the kiss? Kiss and hug your Dads. They need it more than you know.

One of the wildest things about adulthood is the price of highend kitchen knives $1200 for a set of Wusthof knives?!?

So much sucking…….so little dick….

Promise???

Where is the Tesla trillion going to come from? Stop buying the shitty cars.

I fall asleep the second I sit down (this might be a commentary on my overall exhaustedness). I can’t remember the last time I was awake to see the plane liftoff.

Schrödinger’s Sandwich

Case Study: Target.

If you have to ask…..there’s your answer right there

I dare you to try this in Atlanta

Does Mayor Mary have a man to help make sure the tears don’t ruin her makeup? Make her tea, run her a bubble bath and rub her feet after a long day of helping the good people of Detroit? Asking for a friend!

Nobody is gonna print this, but I think we would be remiss not to recognize that Cuomo losing is a rebuff against ZIONISTS

I just want a bunch of shirts, saying the most woke shit, using the Zohran Design System. My NY folks help me out here

Nah! Zohran is going to be okay! He’s going to be just fine….he comes from good people.

Andrew Cuomo is evidence a Lion CAN give birth to a goat (small g).

He also spoke Arabic. The man who won the Mayoral race in NEW YORK CITY spoke Arabic in his victory speech!!! The writers room of the 2025 episode are just flexing at this point.

I need to fix my sleep. I wake up exhausted, with a headache, at 5am irrespective of whatever time I go to sleep

It might finally be time to get the Kia EV9 I’ve been eyeing. They’re hurting right now…. Me: I have $2.45….take it or leave it. Final offer.

My new goal in life is to steal Klay’s girlfriend. Am I delusional? It’s 2025, Trump is US President, and democracy is in its death throes….leave me alone.

All Target had to do was shut up and eat their rice, but noooo….they had to be the anti-woke champions. Sometimes, maybe not burn the side of your bread that is buttered.

This is the most b*tch a*s move ever!!!

Them: how can you watch Kingdom, I can’t get past the animation Me: Did you see Wang Yi’s duel with Pang Nuan? Xin’s duels? The standoff at the Hangu Pass? The Qin King inspiring the town of Zue to defend themselves against Li Mu & the Zhao army? Peak Cinema, I tell you!!! PEAK CINEMA!!!

Do not grab my head like this if you don’t plan on having my babies……

He hates her

Bruh! I was born this way. We do this!!!

I just had one delivered from Banana Republic & now I feel targeted. Pastor! You got cameras in my house? 😒

I want to be happy in my own skin. Is that an option?

Why are you listening to people, who don’t know what you look like happy, tell you how to be happy?

On second thought, we should bring back Imposter Syndrome because what manner of incomprehensible incompetence is this?

WOW! They have nothing…..they’re reaching so far it’s ludicrous

Men would rather play baseball for 6+ hours than let Shohei Ohtani hit more than 2HRs off them. You hate to see it.

He’s holding the camera

AI will reduce our workweek to zero cos we won’t have any work to go to. Technically true 😭 Wisdom of Techbro-Kagawa