can tell I'm about to hit my 30's because the madonna propaganda is working

went to a little gay car thing several hours away only to find out several people live like 10 minutes away from me in my sleepy little town

my life hasn't been the same since taco bell discontinued the loaded beef nachos

out of milk and creamer so I put whipped cream in my coffee and brought it to work we'll see how it tastes when I'm brave enough to try

how to tell my job this specific area of work they only make me do sometimes hurts my fingers like days after I do it

remembering the time the burger king in my hometown caught fire and closed for years, and when they finally renovated and reopened, the burger king in my then-boyfriend's town closed down, thus beginning my theory that there can only be a finite amount of burger kings in the world at a given time

white people be like: I'm addicted to pasta salad

had a dream about my bald spot

both of my ps2 copies of san andreas aren't working should I **** myself

pronouncing lacroix like lacrosse

I remember thinking I was insane back when I bought an Xbox Series X for $600 when it first came out lol

going to get soooooooo gay this weekend

I like how my one job will get serious about attendance for like a week and give me a warning for clocking in 3 minutes late one time then not gaf for the rest of the year

town I work in recently put up a ton of flock cameras at basically every road that goes in or out of the city limits, yay 🙃

got the photos back from my sister's wedding and I look fat in all of them

watching challengers for the first time and omg these characters are TERRIBLE people and I hate all of them

at an Airbnb that lowkey has signs of serious structural issues

accidentally going to manhattan oops

Cops busting through a barricade that they set up is pretty tough to misinterpret.

"you ate the peanut that makes you cry" "it was an almond, you dumb fuck"

keep having the same vivid and frankly horrifying nightmare featuring the same number prominently, hope that doesn't mean anything!

work just asked me if I wanna hand out stuff at their table at Pride lmfao

time to play a game of which car has my wallet

doing stateside karaoke with a gay guy and we're fighting over who gets to be zara larsson

I still feel like we under-reacted to the president demolishing ⅓ of arguably the most famous historical government building in this country with no approval or oversight because he felt like it

suicidal r kelly be like im r kelling myself

cooter

is there a world record for who can run down a set of stairs the fastest

my dog freaks me out a little bit every time she demonstrates she knows how mirrors work

when mamdani is done fixing new york I need him to come to Chicago immediately

contorting myself beyond recognition because the dog wants to sleep in the same bed as me

Domino's Parmasean Bread Bites can say the f slur

Absolutely failure on the part of the Chicago Park District to create safe green spaces. Why can’t we have any spaces in this city that aren’t totally thinner and overrun by cars? @betterstreetschicago.org @bikegridnow.org

Ahead of a protest against an illegal land sale event at Park East Synagogue, NYPD has shut down the entire block in what may be constitutionally illegal. At the subway, they’ve closed an exit that would allow access near the event space. NYPD essentially facilitating an illegal event.

gas just hit $5/gal in my area so everyone behind me is going to go the speed limit whether they like it or not

wine mom that uses the -maxxing suffix but like in a tj maxx kind of way

microdosing hell by living in the united states

sometimes I wish I was religious just so I could get really into gospel

looksmaxxers seeing their face in the mirror

when is the twink death supposed to happen

I don't mean this in a derogatory way but anybody who has a bird is at least a little freaky

phantom limb syndrome but for my nails after I trim them

breasting boobily today

my parents love to fill the kitchen sink with soapy water and leave it alone for 16 hours

I think now is a good time to see if my ps1 i got from goodwill like 9 years ago will work

not gonna lie but new lana track makes me want to buy that james bond game

who the fuck is jackhammering outside at 7:58 am ??????

appropriately labeling your nsfw posts is soooooo sexy

hit up this property manager about this frankly weird but in a charming way apartment but he is looking to rent sooner than I can move so I'm praying it stays on the market for like 10 more days so I can hit him up again

real conversation I had with a younger gen z coworker today: Your shirt says "New Jersey" have you ever been? I don't know, where is it? East Coast I don't know cardinal directions If you're looking at a map of the US, it's on the right side Do you have to drive thru it to get to Florida? No