Are you allowed to say “happy dance” in an email from the gov?

I’m making a roast for dinner who wants to wife me accepting applications.

Saying this to myself in the mirror.

It’s the holidays you’d think I’d be able to relax, sleep in a bit. No.

Am I always going to be the bicycle lady in the tornado from Wizard of Oz? My thoughts and unfinished projects are the tornado and I just continue to pedal, not really going anywhere while I struggle to keep up.

Bf doesnt use Bluesky anymore so I can say whatever I want. I def turned down the thermostat. Kyle’s complaining about being cold what a shmuck.

Memed myself

I think Mike Patton would like my band’s music.

I love you Mike patton I hope you have a good day.

DID YOU GUYS KNOW THEY MADE A MRS. DOUBTFIRE MUSICAL?!

I still get pissed off that the president of the company asked me if I was getting paid too much because I…. *checks notes* ……. paid off my student debt…

It brings me great joy to go to the company website and there’s a picture of me holding hands with one of my fav coworkers.

If you’re looking for me, I’m the one at the office who looks like they were hit in the face with a shovel.

I wanna watch a goofy movie.

I can’t stop eating cheese and crackers and I fear I’m like violet beauregarde only I’m turning into Boursin cheese and salami oh nooooo

glassjaw is a christmas band (not explaining this)

Bf’s dog is being such a baby tonight, you all must see her.

He does this every Friday.

Am I worthy of love? We just don’t know.

If you ever want somebody to cry for you, rage for you and give ur hand a pat, hit me up.

My sister is going through a separation and her heartbreak makes me cry and cry and I am so sad for her.

New Space King?! Now /that/ is a Christmas miracle.

I am officially a “rock haver”.

Sometimes I think about my childhood and cry do you think I need therapy? Y or y???

ATTENTION!! Dog in pajamas!!!

I paid off my student loans hurrayyyy!

Wanted to take a break from my gay werewolf book since it’s making me emotional but I’ve already cried once today so I don’t see why I shouldn’t just keep that ball rollin.

The cookies I decorated vs. the cookies Kyle decorated…

My band is basically me just shrieking in ur ear so maybe that’s a selling feature?

Girls only want 1 thing and it’s Chino Moreno moaning in their ears.

Oh no I have to clean up my melted chocolate mess and it looks like a Buffalo diarrhea dump.

Christmas baking shall continue this evening. 

Tried to do some Christmas baking but instead all the cookies came and beat me up and I didn’t get anything done and that’s why there’s flour everywhere. At least… That’s what I’m telling everyone…

I got my new gas cap on and my codes cleared it is a GOOD DAY to blast the subs!!!

Yelled at bf and then went to the bed to air out my coochie so this is love doodeedoo

I’m scared the Trivago guy is gonna eat me like the Titan that eats Eren’s mom.

Elvis mentioned in Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, let’s fucking gooooooo.

He does this every Friday.

Thank you for this look into womens' lives

You can officially and legally call my tits Gazongas since that’s my cup size.

Transgender Awareness Week

Babymetal have made history. "The End" by Five Finger Death Punch featuring Babymetal tops Billboard's Mainstream Rock Airplay Chart this week. For Babymetal this is especially notable, as it marks the first time in history a band from Japan has shown up at the top of the chart.

Are Kyle and I really good at claw machines or did we just get lucky?

Can a bitch get some thoughts and prayers?!

My band is booking shows again!! If you’re in southern Ontario drop your bandcamp so I know who is around. #southernontariometal #noisesky #metalsky (are hashtags even a thing anymore?)

My band is booking shows again!! If you’re in southern Ontario drop your bandcamp so I know who is around. #southernontariometal #noisesky #metalsky (are hashtags even a thing anymore?)

Google search: how to forgive ppl that have made u cry for months.

Hey when will I stop having awful cramps that make me cry and unable to function?

Had to learn math today.