My dad told me he gets the military discount at a store because he gets one of the employees stoned everytime he goes in there, another employee does not like it because he knows my dad has never been in the army but also my dad never claimed to be

Buy tickets to Undiscovered Genius July 12th at the Hollywood improv I am headlining a comedy club for the first time ever and I want you to come see me kill it so hard improv.com/hollywood/ev...

TODAY ON THE PODCAST! Comedian David Uhlfelder stops by as we test out the new energy drink from Black Rifle Coffee Co. and talk about their VERY weird lawsuit from 2017. Then, we cover the CRAZY story of Pittsburgh's "fake Burger King" and Morgan Wallen's "Whiskey Glasses" is our JOTW. Lynx-N-Reply

My brother is 38 but he has the brain of a boomer, I told him I was looking for a job and he suggested that I google search businesses in my area and check online job listing sites like Indeed or Linkedin. How are you 38 and giving the same unprompted advice our 70 year old father would give?

The stylistic difference between a bearded white man comedian and a mustached white man comedian is staggering

And you people try to say there is nothing good to watch

I thought I was sad because America is sending people to prison camps in El Salvador but then I saw someone share a really positive sounding tweet from Bernie talking about capitalism so I feel good again

Sometimes white people in LA create social media posts with the intention to prove they know a single black person

Online liberals proactively accomplishing nothing like…

4/20 falls on Easter Sunday this year and I cannot wait for all the jokes and memes that are about to be posted, follow my account and I will be sure to reshare those memes

James corden

Linkedin is the best website for finding jobs

I don’t know much about meth except for it makes people wanna sit on the sidewalk with their shoes off

Ladies get you a man who can do both

you should do a podcast with bam margera

Val Kilmer went to diddy parties

I’m the guy that sold Cory booker the meth that kept him awake for 24 hours

Job listings are like “do you love problem solving? Well you’re gonna love being the guy who hands out flyers on the sidewalk”

Plug in your grill for George

Investigated Kanye’s neo Sunday service choir audition, disturbing results youtu.be/d0UQX7Etc4g?...

I’m standing next to a pile of garbage at a bus stop what are you doing?

Fuck your smash burger bitch regular burgers are better

Busting my friends who are lying about their comedy goals is a fun side quest of comedy

If you wanna keep a secret just post about it on Bluesky and no one will ever see it

There’s a new type of job positions called Key Holder, it’s literally all the duties of manager but doesn’t offer benefits and only pays $2 above minimum wage. rebranding the job title of manager to avoid paying someone extra should be mega illegal but it’s just normal to take advantage of worker.

Half the job listings online are legit scams and the other half are jobs that pay so little working there would basically be scamming yourself

The most progressive useless politician of our generation ❤️

Another day another 3 cups of coffee and coffee fueled irrational anxiety

The thing I have learned about instagram stories is if I post something advertising my comedy barely anyone sees it but if I post a picture of an insane person on the bus it gets lots of views Algorithm issue or are my followers fuckin haters who don’t support me and want to see my demise????

Just let the pope fuckin die already !!!!!

TODAY! Comedian @fifidosch.bsky.social stops by for a grand ol' time as we test out an energy drink with a weird CEO, if you can believe it. A billionaire holds a "Don't Die Summit" in NYC, a woman in Arizona believes her Cyber Truck is a medical necessity, and 5FDP is our JOTW! Listen! Lynx-N-Reply

The bus smells like lettuce from a McDonald’s burger

The Economic blackout is for shopping addicts like dry January is for drunks, many people go thru an entire day without spending money, it’s fine and normal to do that, its actually insane to have to plan around and force yourself to not buy stuff Just my opinion

I need to buy toothpaste but there is an economic black out today so are you guys ok with my breath smelling like shit???

I don’t need to do the buyers boycott I don’t shop at any of the big chains because i can only afford the dollar store knock off versions of whatever I need to buy

I got a ridge wallet and random women have started kissing me

Getting ready for national boycott day by buying hundreds of dollars of things today just incase I need them on Friday

If Elon asked me to list 5 things I did last week all 5 things would be jacking off

AOC’s version of “go out and vote” 😪

It feels good to trick a bringer show into thinking I am going to bring 10 people to their show at $20 a piece and then not even show up to perform for their 4pm show at an improv theater

Make cheese worse again

America is failing cause our economy is based on insane people making videos about how everyone should go to therapy

As someone who aligns left politically I can honestly say AOC is part of a psy-op to trick aloof liberals into thinking they are being progressive while cheering for a politician that moves further to the right every day

Been calling my senators and saying “tell Donald trump to knock it off” but so far it is not working

Jelly roll is kid rock for the gen z population who purposely take pressed Xanax

Jerry Seinfeld hasn’t made me laugh in like 30 years but that “I don’t care about Palestine” video got me rolling

Fuck the pope!!!

When a comedy show advertises they have comics from Comedy Central im like “oh good they are going to be showing re-runs of South Park for 8 hours straight”

If these people purposely don’t give medical care to their children do they deserve medical care themselves??? I’m gonna say no

Should start a conversation about the awesome perks of being a bodyguard including smelling Taylor swift’s shit