Junior Soprano judging the Toy category at #crufts

Shania Twain is an anagram of Hawaiian Satan. #totp

Sensational scenes

How I feel when someone blocks me

Just watched the Party Political Broadcast for every other party from Kemi Badenoch there.

Making my child dress as Richard Osman for World Book Day

#AllGreen Wordle 1,716 2/6* 🟩🟩⬛⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Starting a thread of amazing facts about the movies...

"Some big lads have roughed me up and taken my dinner money."

"I want my political legacy to be the Conservation party becoming completely unelectable" - Keir Starmer's cursed monkey paw wish?

Afternoon

Can't get that age verification to work. It'll be easier to leave the country to find out what these messages are...

I like both types of cheese

it's fierce mild out there, lads.

Dinner was always a big thing. We had a pasta course and then meat or fish. Mandy did the prep work. He was doing a stretch for Misconduct in Public Office and he had a system for doing garlic. He used a razor and he sliced it so thin it used to liquify in the pan with a little oil.

*kicks in telly, send George R R Martin the bill*

“The guy did a great job for a competitive rate. I’m really pleased with it”

Wordle 1,709 4/6* ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛🟨🟨🟨⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

The Canadians all look like Bond villains, the Scots all look like milkmen. #curling

Desperate to hear the story for this one

Regret to report that we’ve made another low-quality slide show of the best #CompoFace photos from down the years.

We had Trick or Pancake kids at the door last night. They don't even make an effort to dress up any more. One of them just had Pancake written across his forehead. The usual demanding money with menace conversation ensued. I blame the welfare state.

Turned the telly on for the Winter Olympics and they're showing the uphill skiing.

It's Friday. It's the shortest amount of time anyone has ever owned a trouser press. youtu.be/tNqn5bKmKNc?...

Unlucky for Sean Dyche to get the sack in the Year of the Hoarse.

How many legs?

I've never read such bollocks in all my life.

Amsterdam

I've got a side hustle as a full time dreamer.

Sometimes, very occasionally, Facebook makes me laugh...

Going to need a bigger blackboard...

#AllGreen Wordle 1,691 4/6* ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛🟩 ⬛⬛🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

This is where memes come true...

A tale of two seagulls. #SundayPix #SundayPixDistance

Springsteen *is* overrated though...

This lad couldn't carry a tune in a wheelbarrow. #totp

Apparently, 🐭 don’t like 📺

Let's call the whole thing off

You accidentally stumble across some astonishing ratios on the socials. 2K posts, but only *two* are posts, rest are replies...

Watched 30 seconds of that lunatic climbing a skyscraper, and I reckon my scrotum will untighten about tea time today.

Good chippy. I used to go there when working on some Harry Potter related nonsense nearby. A handy refuge.

"It's also full of piss, in case I get thirsty" added the piss drinking fake adventurer

Pardon me, boy, is that the Chicken Chettinadu? Yes, yes, ten pound ninety nine!

You can turn cauliflower into 'anything' if you use quote marks.

This Trump speech would be a lot better if you could hear the crowd laughing. Turn the mics on!

It's a bit: