OOOOOZZZZE

Chicago ain’t got shit on me.

First SCF match for the whole family. I think I made fans out of the kids. They absolutely loved it.

It sucks to not be able to sleep more than 8 hours anymore. I fell asleep at 8:30 pm local time and now I’m wide awake at 4:30am.

Themed sink plugs. Disney and Universal would never.

First thing I did after checking into my German hotel room was to make sure that I did a good ”luften.”

I spent 3 hours bullshitting about asshole customers with the guys. Once my game was mercifully over, I exchange bro hugs and walk out… with out paying, like an asshole. Got home before i realized I didn’t cash out, and went back to have them charge me double… because I’m that asshole customer.🤦‍♂️

I’m a little heartbroken that my favorite hangout is closing after today, but I’m happy to have found good friends, great food, and a welcome place to soccer. Thanks Chris, Aaron, and the rest of the crew at Schweini’s. Good luck on your future endeavors.

I cant understand being a fan or consumer of Disney media any more. What are we even doing here?

Since @actioncookbook.com had so few pets in costumes sent to him for his weekly newsletter, hopefully he’s up for pitties in sweatshirts.

Eat shit, Crew.

Alvas Powell has to change boots at half. Dude is just slipping all over.

I will put myself in front of a child to keep them from being struck by a car, but I shouldn’t have to do that.

Damn it, there’s a Pants Alert in orlando this morning.👖🚨

Who’s solving the Louvre robbery? Right answers only.

Saturdays are for BAND. #whoopwhoop

Say it louder for those in the back…

It might be 45 years old, but Beast ride at night at Kings Island still slap as hard as they did as when I was a kid. Absolutely phenomenal tonight.

I don’t know about anyone else, but these Big Brother cast members on this season of Amazing Race is annoying AF. I was looking forward to a fun European show and these people of just ruining it.

We getting spooky at the RAVEYARD. Our first test with our animatronic and black light skeleton. Fog machine and more lighting is happening for the big day, but I’m happy with the year one idea.

I have set out and accomplI shed want I wanted to do today. I am slightly drunk. Should I get out my Halloween stuff and play with spooky lights?

My drinking crew made a pretty good hurt on this 128 ozs of fully loaded Painkiller pitcher this afternoon.

Waking up early to hear a song about Travis Kelce’s dick was not on my bingo card for today.

The look I have to offer the parents asking me if I’m ok after being nearly run over for the 17th time this week.

Who’s your favorite Jedi? (Wrong answers only)

I’m not saying I support military coups, but if our military leadership turns on this administration, I’ll understand.

I cannot emphasize enough… Parents, talk to your kids about proper bike and scooter safety. I had a student struck by a vehicle this morning near one of my crossing guard posts. Luckily, the kid was wearing a helmet and only received a couple scrapes. Safety is paramount.

This is the closest I’m gonna get to München this Oktoberfest season.

20 years of marriage with @kristilaycock.bsky.social. Hopefully she’ll stay with me for even more.

There are many reasons I love my Weber Slate flattop grill, but fried rice may be my favorite.

I wondered why Mike was always the ladies’ favorite…

What the actual fuck, Bengals?

Football season is massive pot of chili season.

Tomorrow is the opening of Oktoberfest in München, so that means we wear trachten today during crossing guard duty.

I tend to watch whatever the wife and kids watch instead of disappearing whenever they watch TV outside of my interests. All I’ll say is that I was always #teamconrad from the beginning.

Smart smoke alarm my ass. They couldn’t design something to tell me when the batteries were low during normal waking hours?

If anyone wants me, I’ll be hiding in my closet playing choo-choos and trucks.

I don’t want to be on this world anymore. I wonder what the weather on Mars is this time of year.

Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s not important to know both the distance the earth orbits from the sun and speed of light. It might earn you free beer.

This week’s Football Sunday spread. Cincy week: Goetta Sliders with bacon apple relish Maple Tabasco Chicken and Waffle sliders Skyline Coney Bar

If you see this, post an archer

Buc-cee’s confirmed for Universal Studios.

You really really should reconsider ever coming to this state. To visit, to live, to anything… Florida government is trying to kill you.

I’m watching the Cincinnati WEBN fireworks on TV and I may be crying. That’s the thing I miss most about home, is that Cincy knows how to throw a party.

#skycards Glow alert. Cessna 414 Chancellor just mother of Lakeland Linder.

A full KC experience isn’t complete unless you get to a game at Kaufman Stadium. What a delightful ballpark.

Easily worth the 45 minute wait in line. This place did slap as the name says.