Make billionaires spend millions getting out of jail.

Is anyone certain all those bottles of lube made it to the evidence locker or is some greasing palms?

If we start Diddying these billionaires and seeing who pitches in to bail em out we can follow the money

Soon Putin’s request for proof of loyalty will be for Donald to take a dump on live tv onto an American flag in the Oval office as JD stands there with fresh Depends.

He’ll be remembered in history as “Charles the Shroomer”

If Lars Ulrich were the lyricist for Metallica the way Neil Peart was for Rush, Metallica would have songs called “I Like The Way Your Hair Smells After a Shower” and “Leather Boy”.

The rich can afford their own wars, just not their own defenses.

3/19/25-175 Ukrainian POW return from belarus🙏🇺🇦🙏

Mike Johnson’s confessions sometimes takes days.

Everyone on Grindr has turned down Matt Gaetz more than 2x

I’m betting Mitch McConnell is wild on a Tinder date.

Elon thinks his children’s blood tastes more like his than their mothers’.

Grimes havin a difficult time finding someone to love her as weird as Elon did

Pilots always say they weren’t drinking before they flew but this guy paid me for three table dances in the airport bar and I’m fairly convinced he was drunk because I’m a 76 year old man but needed the cash so I did the “nasty hokey pokey” a few times for his $57

Elon did not see nazi-mobiles not selling because not seeing nazi-ing is a thing he enjoys doing.

Does she or doesn’t she? Only the person responsible for tucking and taping knows for sure.

I’m not saying she’s a whore as clearly as her makeup does.

Heavy Falcon fired up its engines as Kristi Noem wipes her chin

Why do people always let dictators become “murderous” before stomping them out of history?

Let me be 100% clear. I disagree with vandalizing Teslas or Tesla dealerships. However it is not a federal crime. 1. There is no law agains "domestic terrorism." It's why no one was charged with it on January 6. 2. There is no FEDERAL law against vandalizing PRIVATE property.

When you want a bunch of people holding microphones around you all the time but call them names and constantly insult them and think that they won’t hit you in the face seems funny to me.

Every reporter who thinks they work for an organization not involved in “fake news” owes it to the world to show us by hitting the fat fuck with your microphone

So like Space X launches and Tesla fires?

Elon is upset that his flamethrower blueprints somehow ended up inside Tesla designs.

When you sit behind the wheel of a Tesla, you’re what scholars call “kindling”.

So the guy who makes cars that catch on fire is pissed off because people are making his cars that catch on fire, catch on fire?

Who can prove those 32 Teslas didn’t simultaneously need a software update?

Those cameras on Teslas all over the outside are made to film patriotic Americans doing God’s work by fighting fire with fire like Metallica taught us.

If you take your little travel Kleenex’s out of the glove box, there’s nothing worth NOT burning in a Tesla.

We should start a GoFundMe for all the Tesla owners willing to burn their car for a chance to win a Rivian.

THIS IS WHAT MAGA VOTED FOR! 👀🖕💩

Putin will murder Drumpf live on Russian TV. Wins an Emmy.

Who feels safer knowing she’s pretending to be a pilot? #cosplayBarbie

Putin would drop a grenade on his boyfriend if it benefitted him.

Hummer crab walking over Teslas

Gayle King has zero perspective on how “regular people who don’t hang put with Oprah”, live. Gimme a break!

Tesla. The car with a built in rescue fire.

Its funny that when Tesla’s caught in fire by themselves there weren’t cops and military willing to find our why.

Putin dropped a bomb on Trumps story “Putin respects him.”

A Tesla fire so big it can be seen from Space.

Miss Noem, please stop molesting the recruits

Kristi Noem is gonna get to the bottom of sexual misconduct in the military if she has to fuck everyone to get answers

Once a Cybertruck rips off your fingers, you bond.

Putin says “just lay your head in my lap, I won’t hurt you.”

Tesla’s steer by firewire

When your partner says “I’ve always loved you.” Keep in mind that prior to meeting you that was likely untrue.

Stay strong. Judges are fighting back. Americans are uprising. And Elmo is crying.

Lauren Boebert’s Halloween costume was as a Human Roomba