I almost let my birthday pass without asking for my regular annual wish: Can everybody please just chill and be normal for like 10 minutes.

Everyone is commenting on how muted the Switch 2 launch has been, but it’s because nobody knows how to react to a non-insane Nintendo console. The Nintendo of 2012 would have been like, “the Switch is a huge hit, let’s follow it up with a VR headset you have to crank by hand.”

Man, Andor is so good, they should make shows about the other Boolean operators. NOTPARENS: A STAR WARS STORY

My parents finally mailed me the Japanese Sega Saturn that I stashed there something like 20 years ago, so let me know if you want to come over and play such as Virtua Cop 1 and 2, Christmas NiGHTS, or Fighters Megamix (the fighting game where you can play as a Daytona USA car).

Real innovation would have been to offer the cartridges in a variety of disgusting flavors, for additional user choice.

Tapping out on Marvel Rivals. I'm enjoying it a lot, but the learning curve required to get actually good at it is more time than I'm willing to invest.

The reason none of you had any of this on your 2024 bingo cards is because I got there early and took all the good ones. I had everything on there. Everything. I have won seventeen blenders, six toasters, and a dinner cruise for myself and three guests.

My least consequential but most strongly-held opinion is that one of the most underrated flaws of the new Star Wars trilogy is that Last Jedi picks up immediately after Force Awakens. It means there’s no room for a Shadows of the Empire- or Clone Wars-style story to expand the universe at that time.

Comic book people: While deep cleaning our closets, I dug up a bunch of shortboxes, mostly stuff from 2012-2015 or so, assorted Marvel/DC/Image. Short of going through and pricing every single issue and/or Goodwilling the whole shebang, is there a humane way to deal with it?

If San Francisco is submerged by this tsunami, which tech leader do we think is going to step up as Andrew Ryan

I got a smart mug with an app for my birthday and I'm disgusting myself with how much I love it. I GET A PUSH ALERT WHEN MY TEA IS THE RIGHT TEMPERATURE COME ON.

I’m not really a Call of Duty guy, but I’m playing the new one since it’s on Game Pass and I’m finding it really silly! This is a GRITTY, INTENSE game about WAR, but make sure you explore to find MONEY so you can make your HOUSE REALLY NICE for all your soldier FRIENDS

This guy I went to college with has sent me the same Facebook message on my birthday every year for probably 15 years now. We never talk otherwise. It might be my most consistent friendship. (Please forgive me for ghosting him in 2020, there was a lot going on.)

This is what I’m talking about! This is it, precisely.

My birthday wish this year is the same as it is every year: For everyone to please be chill and normal for like ten minutes at least.

I have been nominated as America's guy you text when you watch a Marvel movie and don't recognize who a character is so you want their whole backstory. Honor and a privilege.

Humiliating on several levels.

Finally finished Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom, an absolutely lovely game that makes for a perfect companion piece to Tears of the Kingdom, like Link’s Awakening to Link to the Past.

The not-so-secret reality of even pre-Elon Twitter was that it was godawful for clicks. Writers/editors didn't post stories there for readers, they did it to show their industry peers (and maybe subtly flaunt that they'd published first). Even "viral" posts were generally dire for actual traffic.

Shit, the Cash Cab post hit, what else can I share to really goose my numbers here…uh…um. Oh! True story: Mark Zuckerberg’s dad was my dentist growing up in Westchester, NY.

to the new followers i've gotten after ed's very kind post...i am very sorry in advance

It was all staged! I got scouted at bar trivia, they told us we'd be on a series called "Secrets of New York," but if you googled the production company, their only show was Cash Cab. The host even called us out for not being surprised.

Enough that I should have paid my bills with it but I got the Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep PSP bundle instead.

I can’t believe it took me this long to realize that Bsky is the chance to reach a whole new audience of people who don’t know I was on Cash Cab once. (I was on Cash Cab once.)

Trap was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, but we went to a big arena concert the day after we watched it and all I could think about was if it was secretly a gambit to capture a serial killer and how he’d try to escape.

I think my struggle is that there are too many places to Post now and so I end up not Posting on any of them! I think I need to pick one and stick with it.

Astro Bot is so good. I can't even describe it, other than that the pitch meeting must have been something like "What if we made a video game that is fun?"

Just passed a bunch of guys wearing shirts for a YC-backed “TikTok for food delivery” app. SF is so back.

The Dune version of the Humane AI pin is just shouting to your Mentat buddy in the next room.

Fortnite post: The new Airbending mythic is great! Best mobility item since the webshooters. This has been a Fortnite post.

I’ve been really enjoying Chappell Roan’s music this week!! I know I’m not the target demo and I don’t care!!! She’s great!!!

Installed Balatro just to see what it was all about, blinked and it was an hour later. I get it now.

Is this a safe space to say how much I'm hating the current Amazing Spider-Man run, and how much I hate myself for still reading it lol

Should I be here now? Is it, like, alive?

Apropos of nothing, I wrote a little while ago that platforms rarely die overnight, but rather when users suffer enough inconveniences that just checking the site becomes a chore: https://www.businessinsider.com/death-twitter-elon-musk-facebook-digg-friendster-myspace-2022-11

My pfp is also mfw I wake up and see that Twitter has scored a massive own goal

Sorry I haven’t been on here much, this is how posting makes me feel lately.

Monday morning reminder that while I look for my next thing, I’m available for freelance work for the first time in a very long time. If you’ve ever wanted a Matt Weinberger Original for your website, hit my line.

As an AI language model, I cannot write “banger skeets.” Please rethink your whole life and try again.

Some exciting personal news: We got a new robot mop and it talks to us in a pleasing, calming British accent.

My real personal test for AGI will be when social media can automatically filter out sports-related posts from my feed without my having to mute otherwise-awesome words like “giants” or “kraken.”

I’m trying to regain my roots as a shitposter now that Bluesky gives a…greenfield opportunity…but I don’t know if I have it in me anymore. I need to find a new, younger shitposter to mentor, like in Creed.

Not sure what everyone is talking about, Twitter is going great

I’m posting through it*!!! *life

Should I keep Pikachu or actually upload a real picture of myself

Wait, tomorrow’s Friday. Do we do Follow Friday around here? Do we dare?

This is a good take. This is Twitter Power Users go to Camp.

Journalism is a job, posting is a way of life. Posts before country